Before we move on to 2016...

Just as I did last year, I'm stealing this idea from Joanna.  This is a set of questions that sum up the last year.  While I've intended to make this post for several months, I have specifically not re-read the questions so that I can answer them with a fresh mind this year.

2015 was strange only because everything in it felt ‘normal’.   There many highs and not many lows.  I traveled, I helped my family, I changed jobs, I grew in my job… but none of that had the newness that 2013 and 2014 did.  This year was just normal.  If this is my new normal and I can hold this type of good times close, I can live out the next 20 years or so a happy man.  And after 30+ years of NOT being a happy man, I think it’s a prize well earned. 

I even got the surprise of having Caitlyn come back into my life.  She’s completely re-arranged my free time, but it’s good free time with her so I won’t complain. 

Taveling wise, I took a cold blistery trip to Chicago, drove down to Dallas once and flew down for a second trip.  I had meant to fly out to San Francisco and had intended on another Chicago trip but those are things I can still plan on for 2016. 

I’ve made plenty of big and small purchases.  I can’t really talk about spending money without mentioning the new Ride.  Ginger.   I adore having a big sedan that gets 40+ mpg.   But what really struck me this year is how making purchases has changed.  I still research things, but the time scale has shifted.  I used to research things because I only had one shot to get it right.  If I messed up and spent a couple hundred bucks on a bad thing, it wasn’t something that I could correct.  Now I do the research because I honestly enjoy learning about things and making the right choise…. But if I make the wrong one it’s no big deal.  I can always correct it later.  For instance, my most recent ‘thing’ has been a media streaming box.   Specifically a Roku 3.  I wanted to not only watch Netflix which my bluray player let me do, but wanted to add Hulu, Amazon Video, and other streaming services.  I wanted to do them quickly which the bluray was just horrible at.  At less than $200 for every option, I could afford to ‘try’ one, but I still did my due dilligance to figure out all the differences, all the benefits and all the detriments or each option.  I compared Apple TV, Android TV (the nVidia Shield and Google Nexus Player), the Amazon Fire, and the Roku 3 and 4.  It took me about a day of on and off again research, but I made the right choice… the Roku 3 is everything I could have hoped for!

Changes Come, Changes Go

I still don't know what I was waiting for

And my time was running wild

A million dead-end streets

And every time I thought I'd got it made

It seemed the taste was not so sweet

So I turned myself to face me

But I've never caught a glimpse

Of how the others must see the faker

I'm much too fast to take that test

-Changes by David Bowie

I don't think I've gone this long without a post here.  Ever.  But two big things have changed.  First, I started my new job in early November.  Second... Caitlyn's back. I'm going to take the job first as that's more of the reason I haven't posted here, although Caitlyn has her fingers in that pie too. 

So I've said a lot about this 'new' job here.  I've only been going after it for about a year now.  Almost everything I've said turned out to be true.  It's working only one out of five or six weekends.  It's Monday through Friday.  It's 10:30 AM to 7:00 PM.  It's at the intake center for the MDOC.  The commute is a little under 15 minutes.  It's a total of 13 miles both ways.... 6.2 miles there, 6.5 miles back.  There are a lot of personnel there including four other RNs on my shift.  There is no med room work (NONE!!!).

When is it time?

So a couple weeks ago when I went out to my car after work, I got a text from Mom.  It was more or less this:

"No dinner tonight.  I feel down the stairs into the driveway"

Umm... what?

Knowing mom, I assumed she was minimizing her accident on purpose.  Which to me means she's right on the border for needing medical attention but hasn't gone out to get any.  She sent that message long after my brother got out of work, so I know he's at least seen her.  So I don't focus on the message and head home.

Not surprisingly she is hurt.  Bruises on both legs, both hips, both arms, both shoulders, and on her head, just above her eyebrow.  She has bandages on two different areas of her right lower leg, and she just looks tuckered out.

After quizing her for a bit, here's what I understand to have happened;  The fed-ex guy left a package on our front door.  Our front door is rarely used for an actual entrance or exit as it has a pre-formed set of concrete steps that don't quite rise up enough.  With the door sill, there's quite a first drop down to the steps.  Mom didn't want to walk to the back of the house, outside to the front door and get the package that way.  Instead she opens the front door, takes the bit step down while holding the door jam for stability and reaches down to the next step for the package.  From her angle, she can reach the package but it's too heavy for her to lift with one hand.  So instead of walking fully outside and down the steps to get the package, she lets go of the door jam, grabs the package with both of her hands and tosses it behind her and into the house.

Got the Job

Since the title let the cat out of the bag, lemme start off by saying that searching for an image about a new job kind of sucks.  It either involves people shaking hands, or signs or post it notes.

And then I come across this bear card.  It made me giggle.  It still makes me giggle.  That's why it's there!

So.  Yes, I finally got the transfer.  A quick recap, I heard about this job at the intake center in September of last year.  I hemmed.  I hawed.  I thought long and hard about it, but I decided to try and get it.  Unfortunately that though processes took to long and the door closed before I could toss my resume in.  Of course it also closed just after I told my supervisor that I was looking at a different job!

I told my supervisor, after finding out that I wouldn't be getting the job, that I would happily stay where I was... until that job came open again.  That job eventually opened back up in May of this year.  This time I got my name onto the transfer list soon enough and was even invited in for a tour.  If I was interested in the job before, the tour completely sold me on the idea.  The job would be primarily as an intake nurse.  It would be 10:30 am - 7:00 pm (as opposed to my current 1:30 pm - 10:00 pm), the clinic closes at the end of the shift and all urgent calls are sent elsewhere during the last hour (meaning no unexpected hour long overtime stints to take care of a fake heart attack), I'd share the shift with like 5 other RNs, it's Monday through Friday and only every 5th weekend, and never work in the med room again.  Yeah... I fell in love.

Late Summer Musak

Well I've finally got enough songs that it's worth putting them up here again.  Beyond one great song, I'm not sure any of these are real winners.  One is just damned funny in a way that has absolutely nothing to do with the song itself, one is another postmodern take on a good song, one is a bad cover, and two are blasts from the past that should have been on my playlist years ago.

I think one reason I haven't got as much 'winning' new music lately is that they've really come down hard on us at work.  Technically nothing has changed, they've just started to enforce a rule that has always been in effect.

Here's the laydown.  The software we use to document on our patients is huge.  I mean that in just about every way imaginable.  I'm pretty good at it, but I still think I only know about 50% of it's capabilities.  Some of it's capabilities are beyond me as they are intended for medical providers.  Doctors, Physician's Assistants, Nurse Practitioners.  But I'll still occasionally find something new (to me) that seems like an obvious improvement.

Anywho, the software is also ran completely over the network.  Sure, there is a large local file that runs, but all of it's data comes from a server farm.  And when I say 'all' of it's data, I mean all the data from the entire department of corrections.  All of the patients past and present.  All of the facilities.  All of the LPNs, RNs, RDs, Pharm Techs, NPs, PAs, and Doctors.  Naturally with that much data moving in and out, it's incredibly temperamental of network availability.  Unfortunately this makes the network a key area for the 'techs' to point at whenever we complain that it's slow.

Playing with fire at work, home, and DX

I don't like to play with fire.  At least not  in reality.  A lot of that has to do with the fact that I don't like to be outside, and it's rare to play with fire inside... but I have a healthy respect for flames.

In the figurative though... oh yes I play with fire often.  These past few weeks I've done that in several ways.  At work I butted heads with custody officers and I'm still looking for that elusive transfer.  At home... well yeah I was frighteningly playing with real fire there.

And lastly, I'm jumping from the frying pan of capping into the fire of roleplaying at DX again.

So yeah... fire is the theme for today's post.  First, let me update you on the 'Last Call' situation.  It seems that my email lit a fire under the HUM and she took it to the Captain with a purpose.  Not only was it made clear that no officer would order any nurse to perform some medical or nursing task, it was also made clear that the entire idea of "Last Call" is on it's way out.  At least in it's current form.

Unfortunately shit rolls down hill, and this particular pile of shit ended up on a sergeant that I bear no ill will towards.  For the purposes of this post let's call him sergeant H.  Sergeant H wants to transfer out of our facility.  He came here a couple years ago to serve under our deputy warden and that warden has since moved on to his own facility.  BUT since he recieved his promotion to sergeant at our facility the current warden won't let him transfer for another couple years saying he owes us that much time for the promotion.   I can kind of understand the warden's though process, but it's still a dick move to make.

Days

So life trudges on.  I'd love to tell you all that I've been so busy and been having a great time, but honestly the past two and a half weeks have just been... blah.  Not good.  Not bad.  Just blah.

I had a migrane outbreak.  One Wednesday while at work I had a pretty bad headache.  When I got into work I took some acetaminophen and ibuprofen but the headache didn't even budge.  I took my normal lunch and when I got back to the prison I took some more acetaminophen and ibuprofen.  And added an Imitrex.  Imitrex was prescribed to me last December for the migranes but I've only had cause to try one once since then.  And just like that time it didn't do anything other than upset my stomach.  So I called my supervisor, told her that I couldn't continue to work, and went home.

I then called in the next day as the headache hadn't lessened in the least.  The next day, Friday, I went into work but still had a bad headache.  Thankfully it was my weekend off, and I felt it melt away sometime Sunday afternoon.  If you're counting that's a headache spreading out over five days.  Ouch.  And it's had an echo of sorts... every day or so it tries to come back.  I've beaten it away by avoiding loud sounds (driving with the radio quiet sucks!), and a lot of acetaminophen and ibuprofen.  They've helped mange it, but it feels like before I started taking the propranolol.  When I see the Doc in October I'll ask  him about another step... maybe we can up the propranolol.

"Is he your partner?"

So that I can write my thoughts out faster, lemme set some things out here first.  I don't look at or see 'Gay' as an offensive word.  The thinking voice in my head almost always uses the term 'Gay' when it's forming thoughts about homosexual men.  When I speak or write, I often will change that internal 'gay' to homosexual.  But that's my internal censor especially when talking to people who have anti-homosexual feelings.   I guess I want it to sound both more intellectual and at the same time want to remove the idea of a derogatory term from their vocabulary.

But I don't think of it as derogatory.

OK. With that out of the way let's get into this.  I've often had the feeling that some if not many people assume I'm gay.  This goes back to the 90s while I was in college and afterward while working in Chicago.  I don't know where that thought came from.  Maybe it was my own internal struggle.  I was reading a lot of transgendered stories, and had fantasies of being turned into a woman.  I had and have spent a lot of time imagining what it would be like to give a blow job.

I'd often take a step back and look at my life and see... gayness.  I would wear more flamboyant clothes.  I was working on a career as a photographer.  I didn't follow sports closely.  I wasn't dating.  I was living with a guy.  Does any of this mean gay?  No.  Gay has a very strict definition; being sexually attracted to a person of the same gender.

Musak for July

I've complained before about music discovery.  Sometimes the best music just falls into my lap.  I hear it on the radio (internet) at work.  I hear it on a TV show or in a movie.  I hear it on a game video or someone posts it in a forum I frequent.

Well this month has been a bad one for that free discovery.  It might be the TV, or more specifically the lack of TV.  I watch John Oliver's Last Week Tonight on HBO, but that's about it.  The rest of my TV time is currently spent re-watching The West Wing on Netflix.  I'm sure once the fall season starts back up and I start watching Fear The Walking Dead (just a couple weeks for that!), The Walking Dead, Person of Interest, and a few others, I'll get back into some good discovery.  But for now, it's just a wasteland of pop and songs that I already have/like.

Even iTunes has started to let me down.  The first few years I was using iTunes I could rely on them to get me some good music.  I just had to look at their 'recent' music, or better yet their recommendations specifically for me.  Eventually the 'recent' just turned into more and more major label stuff (i.e. pop), and the recommendations broke down.  They recommend songs that I already have (that I didn't purchase from them), or they are so close to what I already have that I've already heard it, considered it, and decided not to add it to my collection.

That's about the time I started looking at their 'top songs' lists.  I couldn't use the main one as they more or less listed the bilboard top ten lists (more pop). So I would hit up the genre specific lists... but even those are getting screwed over.  When I go over to the classical top ten it's all the 'pop' classical.  Five guys on a piano, or whatever was last played on America's Got Talent.  The Alternative list varies so much as the Alternative genre is, by definition, simply 'not mainstream'.  So sometimes it's pop (ick) and sometimes it's rock.  Occasionally an artist will break in with an alternative take on bluegrass or country, but that's rare.  The Rock stuff.... well damn it Journey is still on the list.  JOURNEY!

Bastards.

A new computer for Mom

Windows 10 is out now.  I really hate how companies play the expectation game.  Since around April, when Microsoft announced that Windows 10 would be a free upgrade to every current Windows 7 and Windows 8.1 user, I've been excited about it.

I haven't been excited because there was something wrong with Windows 8... I just wanted something 'new' to play with.  Taking out the Start screen and changing it back to the Start menu isn't a big deal to me.  I actually liked the Start screen and I had become accustomed to it.

I guess as a 'design' minded guy, having the entire screen dedicated to lining up the programs I use appeals to me.  But I know that most people hated it.  I couldn't care less about adding Cortona as the only microphone I have attached to my computer is the one on my headset.  And I'm not going to put on and take off a headset just to ask my computer a question.  And oddly enough, I didn't even need a clean install.  I normally have to install the OS cleanly every 18 months or so and I've been working off the same install for over two years now.

Well... now that I think about it, I DID build a new computer last year... so yeah, I guess this install is only 9 months or so old.  Anywho... I didn't HAVE To have Windows 10.  But I wanted it.  And Microsoft knew it.  And Microsoft played with my expectations.  They said they would have it out in Summer.  YAY!  That means I can get it in June right?  No... when they announced the date they said it would be July.  When they put a specific date on it, they said July 29th.  And when July 29th came around... they said it would be installing in waves.  That I would probably get it before September.

Grr.

Nothing going on

Just about each morning I stop by here and see if anything is going on.  There really isn't a reason to as this blog doesn't have a following and doesn't inspire conversation, but it's like picking up a diary and reading the last entry... it reminds me that I talk about what ever is on my mind.

When I see the last post at any given time it will remind me of what I had just talked/written about and will often inspire me to write something else.

Well... for the past couple weeks I haven't had much on my mind.  I see the last two posts I wrote (about Ginger and my new work watch) and see them as materialistic.  I don't mind materialism, but would like to think I'm deeper than that.

I normally write about an upcoming event... but there isn't much I'm currently looking forward too.  Short term, we're still a little short staffed at work and I can't get the days off.  Longer term, I'm in a holding pattern.  It's either too far away or I'm waiting on other people.  Watching the news will often bring up a subject that I want to parse out... writing about it helps me define my own feelings... but there isn't much news to get me thinking.  So.... I'm going to write up a quick little 'nothing' post.  At the very least, when I read this years later I'll be able to look at the last couple weeks of July 2015 and see that it was a calm time.

'Super Space Car'

I've had Ginger for four and a half months now.  I'm now over the 'new' aspect of her.  I've put over 10,000 miles on her, given her an oil change, driven her down to Texas and back, and have just now set up an appointment for her first recall (something about steering mounting bolts).

Now just because she's not 'new' doesn't mean I've fallen out of love with her.  I talked awhile back about how my love for her has lost the 'passion' that I had for Fiona.  And that's still true.  I don't go ga-ga over Ginger the same way I did with Fiona.  She can still make me smile, but it's more of an appreciation that she's the right car for me, rather than her being a special car for someone.
Why is she the right car for me?  She's roomy.  She's techy.  She's stylish.  She's quality.  She gets amazing gas mileage (for as big as she is). Those things are not easy to get all together, and are all very important to me.  But as 'right' as she is for me, she's just not on my mind all the time.  I'm not as eager to talk about her as I was Fiona (even after having Fiona for over a year).  But when she does come up in a conversation... well it's always a good thing.

Dumbed It Down

So I finally pulled the trigger and got a new dumb watch.  I settled on the Vestal Digital Doppler watch.  I had several others in contention, but like many dumb watches out there, they just aren't worth talking about.

I like watches.  I think they are a good combination of style and functionality, and seeing what someone has on their wrist can say a lot about them.  For example at work I see many of the officers have a simple leather/leatherette/rubber banded digital watch.  It's easy to look at, it can generally display in 24 hour time, and it can take a beating.

Most of the nurses have standard 'clock style' watches with metal bands.  The metal bands are far better when you have to get them wet (washing hands) many times a day.  And the clock style is great because they almost all have an easy to read seconds hand.

Style wise... well there are some people at work who care about the style of their watch, but most don't.   At least the ones that I've talked to about it.  Obviously I feel that the perfect combination of style/functionality is the Pebble Steel.  It just looks classically good, and with the faces I have for it, has GREAT functionality.  But we all know how that's going down.  I still don't see a future where they allow it.

Streaming Music?

I've talked about how I get my music (mostly iTunes).  How I explore for new music (movies, television, commercials, rarely online radio at work...), and in my last music post I talked about how I play music (my iPod and my phone).

For the most part, I assumed I was being high tech.  I know people that still get CDs.  I have a friend who's introduction to digital music was getting a car with an internal hard drive.  He would rent CDs from the library and rip them right into his car... leaving him with a good selection of music that will go away whenever he ditches that particular car!  So sharing my music between the computer, the iPod, and my phone was still rather cutting edge... at least I thought so until I listened to a podcast from Wired magazine.

It seems that the new 'it' thing in music is streaming services.  Google Play Music, Spotify, Pandora, Amazon Prime, and of course the new gorilla in the line up... Apple Music.  Here's what I 'knew' about these services before the podcast:

• You could use them for free.  You would have limited selections to start from and there would occasionally be commercials.  You could skip a song or two, but eventually you'd be prevented from skipping.  
• On the Free tier you could select a particular song to start from, but it wouldn't play that actual song. 
• If you paid for the service, you could get more skips, you would get no (or at least less) commercials.  You could also be more specific or general in your streaming... say you want chill 70's singer-song-writer guitar heavy songs.  
• And.... that's about all I knew.

Constitutional Questions

Happy Independence Day!

Yeah Yeah... I'm posting this on the 5th, but I was doing the whole 'family' thing on the 4th and this is the first opportunity to post.

Before I get into constitutional or political quandaries, lemme go over the holiday.  It was a rare holiday as both of my brothers and I had the day off.  R gets every weekend off, I get every other weekend off, but B normally works on Saturdays.  So having a Saturday holiday with all of us is quite rare.

We spent the day and grilled at my Aunt's house.  I'm sure I've said before, but my Mother and my Aunt always make too much food for the holiday meals.  I don't think they can quite come to terms that they make a LOT of great food and that it's just not reasonable for them to make everybody's favorite dishes.  Nor can they come to the conclusion that they aren't feeding the 15 people that we had before.  This year was large... 10 of us... but they still cooked as if feeding a small army.  We had burgers and dogs on the grill (this included my brother's chicken burgers), corn fresh off the cob, fried potatoes, baked beans, potato salad, taco salad, and tortilla chips and queso.  They really reigned it in for desert as we 'only' had strawberry cake, preacher's cake, and blueberry desert (more or less blueberry and whipped topping no-bake cheesecake).

Dumb it down

I guess I shouldn't be surprised.  I explained in the previous post that my Pebble smart watch was banned from the prison.  I wasn't about to let this go as I really love my Pebble smart watch.  Not just because of the features that work with a cell phone, but because it's faces are perfect for work.

So I emailed the inspector and explained my position.  It was a long email, but this is the gist of it:  The watch only connects via blue tooth.  The watch does not connect to computers.  The watch is a valuable tool for me.  The watch has no microphone, camera, or cellular technology.

I suggested I bring him the watch so that I could show him first hand what it can and cannot do.  He agreed and yesterday morning I met with the Inspector, watch on wrist.  My first impression of the inspector was... well technophobe is probably a bit to far, but he wasn't loving technology like I do.  He had a phone (he works outside of the secured perimeter), but it was a dumb phone.  A flip phone.  Just the way he had his desk set up made it clear that he didn't even like his computer.  It was pushed off to the back corner where the front of his desk had room for papers, pens, and pencils.  This didn't bode well.

He also seemed to immediately take this as a "Me Vs Him" conversation.   He had a stack of papers that included a photocopy of my watch and a print out from the Pebble website explaining all the features of a watch.  Specifically they were talking about the new Pebble Time.  While I have a Pebble Time (Steel) on order, I do not currently have one.  He turned the papers around and tapped his finger accusingly on a highlighted passage and said "This is why I don't want you to have this watch."

Monday, Tuesday, Thursday...

So Tuesday at work was one of those days that I enjoy and dread in equal measure.  It was Busy.

The busyness came mainly from scheduling.  Our clinic generally schedules between 20 and 40 appointments a day.  Those appointments are spread between many nurses, and my share is often a bit less as they have to leave room for the various transfers that invariably come in.

On Tuesday we had 64 scheduled appointments.  Even with reducing my 'share' of appointments and leaving me room for transfers I still had 10 appointments.  So once the day started, I got running and never slowed down.  There were only four transfers, but I didn't even START getting them ready until around 7 PM.  And of course there were a few urgent cases.  By the end of the shift I had taken care of 16 appointments.

That number alone doesn't convey just how busy I was.  Sometimes appointments are things like taking a blood pressure, or reading a test result.  Most of my appointments that day were full on assessments.  An inmate has a complaint, and I get to start from scratch.  "Oh, your back hurts, well let's talk about it for 20 minutes while I try to figure out what the hell is wrong with you (probably mental) and what I am going to do about it (or NOT do about it)".  I've had more appointments in a day, but Tuesday was one of the busiest non stop days I've ever had.

Happy Father's Day

Dad.  Happy Fathers Day.

I wrote yesterday about how I don't think I'll ever be a father.  One thing I thought about but didn't explore at all was missing the pride a father can feel for his children.  I've talked a bit before how I try to make my father proud even beyond his years on earth.... but am I?  Are my brothers?  I guess that depends on what would make my father proud.  Would he value financial success?  Would he value personal relationships?  Would he value personal growth?  Would he value the caring for others?  Would he value the continuation of family?  Would he value being right?  How about righteous?

Lemme just explore this a bit.   Let's take my brothers first.

R.

Financially R is in a tough spot.  He has a decent job now and is coming up on having that job for a year.  By R's own estimation he is close to having 'enough'.  While B and I almost constantly dream about having more... about being millionaires, R dreams about having a nice little home, a car that runs, and enough money to maintain those things.  He doesn't quite make enough money for those things, but through years of living with almost nothing R also has almost no debt.  I was surprised to learn that his savings are more than my own.  But then again while I have about $2800 a month in bills, R has around $400 a month in bills.

Fatherhood?

On my last day off I took some time to myself and played a bit of GTA V.  First, that is a damned fine game.  Fun, good story, over the top violence... it can really pull you in and keep you in the "I just have to do this one last thing and THEN I'll stop".

As you probably know, when I game I use my headset.  That way I can have the volume up enough to block out the rest of the world and not bother everybody else in the house.

I had blocked out the rest of the world enough that when my brother R came in to tell me supper was ready he actually had to grab my shoulder to pull my attention away.  I hadn't heard  him knock.  I hadn't heard him open the door.  I hadn't heard him step in.  I hadn't heard him call my name several times.

I also hadn't heard my brother B stop by with his kids for a visit.  That really sucked as I was just thinking that day that I hadn't talked to B in quite a while.  I've been under the weather or had other plans set on my last few days off, so I hadn't gone over for a visit.  So missing him and the boys just kinda sucked.

Thankfully he recognized that I WAS home (saw my car there), and he called later that night.  He was setting up a game of RISK with his boys and invited me over to join in.  I actually really enjoy playing board games.  Risk isn't exactly one of my favorites, but it's a game his kids can more or less play and doesn't consume an entire weekend in the same way that Axis and Allies can.   So I drove on over and joined in.

I kind of miss my brother

Friday I woke up at 8 AM.  I did my morning coffee/internet thing for a while before taking a shower and then watching some television.  I eventually drove off to work, did my work thing, then drove home.  I arrived at 11:05 PM and watched some more television until around 1 AM and then went to bed.

That was roughly my same schedule on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday.  Today is different only because it's my regular day off.

My brother R's day starts around 6 AM.  He does his coffee/internet/tv thing for about an hour before driving away to work at 7 AM.  He works until 4 PM, then comes home.  He has dinner, plays on the computer, and then goes to bed around 10:30 PM.

Yeah... we don't see each other.  Not on days that both of us are working.  And you know what.. that really kidna sucks.  It's not like we hang out from dawn to dusk when we have the available time together.  In fact, we rarely do anything together.  Our friends and hobbies don't really over lap except for playing games on the computer... and we don't do that together.  At least not for a decade or two.  But I still miss him.  I miss the opportunity to just comment on the day's news.  "Hey, did you know that JEB Bush's name is actually John Ellis Bush?  J E B =  Jeb?"  or "Hey, Fallout 4 is coming out in November!"  or "Did you see that new Doom trailer?"

New Job?

I talked briefly here about the new job opportunity.  Well it seems to be moving forward.  I got an email from the supervisor yesterday saying that she has a position opening up and wanted to make sure I was on the transfer list and still interested.

We went back and forth a few times via email once I got to work and she ended up offering me a tour.  So this morning I'm heading over there before going into work.  I can't help but smile at the mere offer.  I figure it HAS to be a good sign.  I mean, why offer a tour to someone if you aren't interested in them coming to work for you.  I know it can be a two way street... it's a chance for them to show off a bit to me, but it's also a chance for them to check me out in a non-interview setting.

I'm very excited by this.  I can picture this happening very quickly from here on out.  In fact with the union transfer rules, I'm not sure I'd even HAVE to interview.  They already have a glowing review from my supervisors, and now they'll get a chance to see me up close and personal.  I'll also get to pepper them with questions without trying to appear all self important and 'confident' during an interview.

YAY!

Hopefully I'll have something more detailed to write tomorrow!

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Tomorrow has come and yes I do have something more detailed.  Read on for the actual tour and a possible glimpse into my future.

I might be dying

One of the things about nursing is that whenever presented with an issue, we need to look at the worst possible outcome first.  We focus on that until we can eliminate it.

For example, when someone at works falls and hurts their leg at work, my first thought is to eliminate a broken bone.  If they broke their leg, it requires fairly swift action to avoid a long term disability.

With all the possible 'broken bones', probably around 50, I've experienced exactly one.  And that one wasn't from a fall on the basketball court or baseball field, it was the result of an assault.  It wasn't even a major broken bone, although it was in the interior of the skull so it had it's own issues.

But until I can eliminate those worst case scenarios, I have to keep it at least in the back of my mind.  Sadly, that means that whenever I have a personal health problem, I'm constantly worried about a major health crisis.  And right now, I have myself scared shitless.  You see, I've had a cold for the past week and a half.  Last Thursday (my day off) I woke up with a burning in my chest.  It extended up to my throat and was worse when I breathed deeply.  This pain was accompanied by a lot of phlegm, some body aches, and a feverish feeling (although no actual fever).  The phlegm lead to a lough of coughing and sneezing which only made the burning in my chest and body aches worse.

Upgrades

I think everybody likes an upgrade.  I know I do.  I like new, but at the same time I like the familiar.  It seems like lately I've been doing a lot of upgrades... sometimes big, sometimes small.  Android 5.1.1 for my Nexus, Windows 10 for my computer, my iPod Nano to an iPod Touch, Fiona to Ginger, possibly my job.

I remember having a conversation with my friend A, and one thing we discussed was the constant desire for improvement.  We were talking about how we admired that desire in others and sought it out in friends and colleagues.  It's not just the big things... looking to improve your job, your pay, your life... but the small things.  Can you improve the way you fold your socks?  Can  you improve the way you make your morning coffee?

Here's a pretty good example of that constant improvement mentality.  When I get up in the morning to take a shower I stand in front of my wardrobe.  I used to grab my shirt and jeans in one hand and a pair of underwear in the other.  Now I pull out a pair of underwear, pull out a pair of jeans, and grab a shirt off it's hanger.  I'll fold all of these items over my left arm and then walk from my bedroom into the bathroom.  Pulling my shirt off with my right hand I'm able to lay out my jeans and underwear in one motion, then place the shirt on it'a hook (letting it get a steam from the shower) by simply pivoting around toward it.  It's a stupid silly thing to even consider, but it's made me happier that I found a way to improve this single action that I take every single day.

Being There

Being there for a friend.

I think we've all heard that saying before.  For my close friends, I try to always 'be there' for them.   Hell, that's what I primarily want to do WITH them.  I don't necessarily want to go on a vacation or eat at a fancy restaurant or perform some hobby with them... I just want to 'be there'.

While that's true for my close friends (all three of them), it's not nearly as true for others in my life.  Take my co-workers... I'd hardly consider them friends.  That's not supposed to be a slight in any way... I just don't have a personal relationship with them.  We work closely together and discuss personal things in our lives, but if I stopped working with them, I'd probably stop communicating with them.  We don't even 'hang out' outside of work.

Well... that had to stop.  At the very least in this one particular circumstance.  Without getting into specific details, a co-workers wife left him.  He went to work and when he came home she had packed up four of his five kids, all of their stuff (I mean ALL... she took the damned oven!) and left.  No note, no text.  Just gone.

This happened while I was on vacation, and I heard about it from another co-worker.  I couldn't imagine the pain and confusion that such a situation would leave my co-worker friend in.  I knew he had a wife and kids... but that's about the extent I knew of his wife.   So when I learned about it, my first impression was to give him a call.  I was working in the south clinic while he was working out in 4 block.

Support the Troops

I can't imagine this post will make me popular, but it's something that's been floating around my head, and I want to get it out before I say something inappropriate at an inappropriate time.

I'm sick and tired of 'Thanking Our Troops'.  Or blessing them, or worshiping them.... anything really beyond 'Supporting Our Troops'.  But then again I do that through paying taxes and voting in politicians who say they are going to support them (or voting out those who don't support them).

I have a lot of respect for anybody that joins our military service.  It's a vital service for our country, and it's a job that I don't believe I could personally do.  But that same sentiment is true for teachers (I'd go stark raving mad trying to teach a room full of young children).  The same is true for policemen.  The same is true for garbage men.  The same can be said for any number of jobs.

I have a lot of family history in the military.  My grandfather trained pilots and flew bombers during World War II.  My father served in a submarine during the Vietnam conflict.  Two cousins fought in the first Iraq war.  Several other cousins, uncles, aunts, and various relations served in the military.  I love them all, and respect them for making that choice.

April/May music & my iPod journey

After a couple really good months of getting new (or at least 'new to my collection') music, April and May were mostly a big bust.

I've only downloaded three songs since my last music post and none of them are real winners.  The last one I just added a few days ago and is likely going to be a spring fling... loved and then forgotten by the time summer rolls around.

Since I don't have much to share, I'm also going to talk about iPods, speakers, and music while traveling.

First up is the iPod.  I decided upon this title graphic because I purchased another iPod this past week.   I believe a quick history is in order to understand where I'm coming from and why I continue to pay Apple so much money for music and technology.  I started using MP3s as my main music system (overtaking tapes and CDs) sometime around 1996.  I was already heavily invested in my computer and the more time I spent at it, the more I liked having my music available there.  For the longest time I used WinAmp as my music player of choice.  It was... limiting.  When I started playing with MP3s it was easily the best option out there (I think there were two other choices), but when 2003 rolled around it was getting a little long in the tooth.  It just didn't have the options I wanted.

Looking Forward

I always like having something to look forward to.  Getting together with friends, football games, trips, milestones at work... just something to make me look up from day to day life and gaze at the horizon.

While at school, this was easy.  There was always a goal to move toward.  The next test.  The next clinical.  The end of a particular class or semester.  The next semester.  And of course the grand daddy of goals... graduation.

I think it's my desire to plan.  What am I going to do for this next phase?  What am I going to do after this particular phase?  It's nice to have something off in the distance that I can plan for, but can't fully prepare for at that moment.

If I give it a moment of deeper thought, I may consider that this is a coping mechanism.  It's a way for me to look at something and focus on it instead of focusing on the present.  Now that can be good and bad at the same time.  Good, because who doesn't like to be prepared.  Who doesn't like to walk into a situation and be ready for what's going to happen?  Bad, because when the present changes it can be very upsetting.  I mean come on, I made all these plans and now they're all crap.  And bad because when there isn't anything to really look forward to I can tend to start tilting at windmills... looking forward and planning for something that doesn't require planning or worse... making plans just to disrupt the ever present now.

A Caitlyn Story

So while driving home I got into Caitlyn's headspace a bit.

Now before I get into this, some of this post will be a bit.... TMI.  I'm going to talk about masturbation a bit.  It won't be graphic, but if that's not something you want to read about then by all means, skip this post.

OK... so driving for 16 hours between Texas and Michigan gave me plenty of time to let my thoughts wander.  I thought about family, my future, work, future jobs, relationship.... a whole mess of things.  I didn't really make any headway or come upon any new conclusions so I won't go into those.  But I did come up with a story idea.

I think the reason that I got into this story was simply due to me being horny.  Yeah.. I had just visited with a family for four days which means I didn't masturbate at all.  I just find the idea of wanking it in someone else's shower kinda off putting.  Add in the day's driving down and I was now about six days without an orgasm.  For comparison's sake, I normally masturbate once a day.  That has held steady before I found Caitlyn, all throughout Caitlyn's time, and after I lost Caitlyn.  Hell... it's been that way since high school.

So needless to say, the urge struck me when I had plenty of time on my hands and nothing to do but watch the road.  When I get this way, I'll often just think of 'sexy scenes'.  Sometimes they'll be part of a narrative.  Sometimes I'll have a part in this scene (mostly now a days as the man, but sometimes still as the woman), and other times I'll just enjoy imagining a man and a woman having sex or being part of a scene.

Road Funding II

So I wrote about our stupid ass legislature and how they were shirking their responsibility about a month ago.

A quick recap;  our road are crap.  Our roads need repair.  The legislature's only way to do so was by a complex shell game that included raising the state's sales tax by 1% and sending it out for a statewide vote.

Well the vote was the day before I went on vacation... and it failed by a 4 to 1 ratio.

I heard all kinds of arguments as to why someone wasn't going to vote for it.   But the worst one has to be this:

"I'm not going to vote for it because this is the wrong way to fix the roads.  If we vote this down the legislature will have to try again and do it right this time.  Voting no will teach them a lesson."

I'm fairly good at arguing a point.  I can often change people's minds to my way of thinking... but I couldn't change a single mind.  And this wasn't just a purely partisan problem.  Both the democrats and republicans were all for it.  They brought out unions and business leagues, former democrat and republican governors, the current republican governor and the recent democrat senator (who served for like 25 years).

VayCay Recap

I got back from my vacation yesterday.  If I had to sum it up in one word I would have to go with; Good.

Not great.  Not awesome.  Not amazing.  Just plain old Good.

Really the vacation was two vacations in one.  The first (and last) was driving.  I drove down to visit my friends in Texas.  As the door to door driving is just a touch over sixteen hours, I broke it up into two days.  Driving there and back is one part of the vacation.  The other part was the actual visit with my friends.

Lemme talk about the driving fist.  I already mentioned that I was going to get the car detailed... and OH MY GOD does Ginger look good when she's cleaned professionally.  I get her washed at the local car wash once every week or so.  More or less on my day off from work I'll consider the weather for the next few days... if it's going to rain a lot I'll hold off.  If it's going to be sunny, then I'd just prefer to get the car cleaned.  But that's the exterior and that's just a big machine doing it's job.  Sure it has wax, but it's not hand applied in layers.  And there's no clean like a clay bar clean.   I don't do it personally because... well... I don't want to.  I want the clean car but not all that effort, especially as it would be a weekly thing.

Driving Vacation

So tomorrow I leave on vacation.  Last year I got to experience my first paid vacation in almost 10 years.  Not only did I get a vacation, I got several.  A trip to the Windy City, two flights to Tex-Ass, and a staycation over Thanksgiving weekend.  I had another vacation earlier this year back to Chicago.

So getting time off isn't anything new.  It's something that went from Amazing, to wonderful, to great, to just another part of the job.

So at face value, this shouldn't be anything worthy of writing about.  I should mention it (I have a couple times) in a post but it's nothing that should occupy my mind in a way that makes me write it out.

But this vacation is different for several reasons.  First... it's by FAR the longest stretch I've taken off.  I try to plan my vacations around my weekends off.  I mean that just makes sense' start with the only two days off I have in a row and by taking two days off I've grown it organically into a four day vacation.  I believe my two trips to Tex-Ass and my Thanksgiving extended weekend were both a total of five days off.  The other trips were all three or four days off.

This time I'm taking six days off.  When my weekend and other regular days off are added in I'm getting a total of 10 days away from work!!!

Googlfi my phone service!

This post is more or less just a way to get my mind around this concept.  I heard about 'Project Fi' on a podcast while driving home last night.  Project Fi (or Google Fi as many car calling it) is a cellular service from Google.

First thought;  YAY!

I love Google.  I love their products, I love their philosophy.  I love that most of their projects aren't designed to own the market and are instead set up to push the market in directions they think the industry (industries) should go.

For example, they don't want to push out cable internet providers by making Google Fiber... instead they just want to demonstrate that somebody can provide fairly inexpensive fiber based internet with amazingly fast speeds.  If Google Fiber was available near me, I'd sign up for it in a hearbeat.

So in a nutshell, what's Project Fi?  It's a cell service that primarily uses WiFi for everything.  The phone will actively search out a strong WiFi signal that it can use and if it's providing a stronger connection and/or faster speed than the cellular signal available will switch over to it.  It will use the WiFi signal for data of course, but it will also use it for voice and texts.  The data over a WiFi network would be encrypted (using a VPN) system so it would be just as 'secure' as a cellular connection.

But better than that is what it does if there isn't a WiFi signal.   It will then search out for the strongest/fastest cellular signal between both Sprint and T-Mobile's systems!

GTA V and a Game Controller

Back in October of 2013 I bemoaned the fact that I didn't play as many video games.  That fact is still true.  I rarely get the time to sit back and play TF2.

In November of 2014 I more or less built a computer so I could play a new game.  Now don't get me wrong, I LOVED building that computer for so many reasons... but the original spark for doing so at that particular time was a video game.  Assassin's Creed Unity.

Well... I still haven't finished playing that game.  It's fun, but not nearly as fun as the previous Assassin's Creed games.  If you know anything about the AC games, you remember that the game is basically told in two parts.  The present with a group of young assassin's using a machine to live out a past life, and the past life they're living out.  Well, a couple games ago in the series they killed off the main protagonist in the 'present'.  That kind of killed half of the game.  Yes there is still a person in the present living through the past, but the story is told mostly in shadows.  You have to think and read between the lines to continue the 'present' story line.  This game is the same... it's primarily about being an Assassin around the time of the French revolution.

Yawn.

Backache

I've had a back problem going on for about 5 years now.  Back when I was working retail it just hit one day.  I was bending over to pick some products up off of a pallet and BAM... it was like an electric bolt in my lower back.

The pain quickly faded, but when I went to move said product to a shelf, it came screaming back.  Again, it only lasted a moment but I couldn't seem to move at all without it striking.

As it struck over and over and over, a dull ache worked its way in and replaced the relative pain free experience between lightning strikes of pain.

Now before I go on I want to explain what lead to this problem.  I was bending over at the back and lifting up a hefty object.  It wasn't anything I'd have to strain at, but it was several pounds.  I know from both education and common sense (as well as store training) to lift with my legs.  The problem is, since I was a very young boy, I've had a problem with my knees.  You see, my knees face 'outward' quite a bit.  My knees face so far out that my feet follow suit and point somewhere off to my left and right.  This means that bending my knees isn't exactly easy and is often quite painful.  If I stress my knees to much, they'll ache constantly for hours and hours.  Sometimes they'll ache for days.  So I've learned to NOT lift with my legs and rely on my sturdy back.

Road Funding

So it seems my state government isn't even good at their job.  They need something done, can't figure out how to do it while keeping up their 'No New Taxes' rant, so they're turning to the people of Michigan.

I talked a bit about this in December.  Our roads are bad, and we need more money to fix them.  At the time, the two houses of the legislature had different ideas.  One was to raise more taxes by raising the gas tax.  One was to NOT raise more money and take some from the education fund.

They couldn't agree on how to do it.  Understand, we're 90 yards down the field.  We know the problem (road are bad and have been underfunded for years), we know how to fix them (fund them properly).  We just can't agree on HOW to fund them properly.

We in Michigan know about road problems.  We have some of the worst circumstances.  There are a lot of cars in Michigan (both a big population and a lot of car ownership for that population).  We use our roads a lot, both for personal travel and for hauling goods.  Personal travel as we often live far away from where we work, and hauling as we manufacture a lot of goods and haul a lot of goods out of Canada and out of the state.  We're in the cold enough region that our extended freeze/thaw seasons get water into the cracks in the road and open those cracks up to the point that the roads fail.   All of that adds up to this...we have a lot of roads that are more expensive to build and more expensive to maintain.

Dreams and...

I had a nightmare last night.  I don't remember anything more than the fact that I had a nightmare though, and that actually makes worse.  Normally in the bright light of day I can suss out what my brain was thinking/doing.  But now here's all I remember:

I laid down for bed.  The last time I remember seeing on the clock was 1:30 am.  I woke up at 2:45 am scared.   It was dark, I was feeling distinctly alone, I didn't know where I was or why I was there.... and I was scared.

I did eventually figure out the who/what/why/wheres, and did fall back to sleep rather quickly.  But that scared feeling remained when I woke up fully this morning at 8:30 am.

I'm not one to have a lot of nightmares.  Or dreams.  At least not for the past several years.  Medically I know that I AM dreaming... those who don't dream have mental issues.  I just don't remember them.  I don't even have the impression of experiencing them.  I go to sleep, I wake up, I start my day.  No good thoughts/feelings or bad thoughts/feelings.   But I've now had two nightmares this past week.  If this past nightmare was my only experience, I probably would have just forgotten the whole thing in a day or so.... but having two in a week?  What the hell is my mind worrying about?

Little Boy Voice

We all have voices in our heads.  No, I'm not talking about the ones many of my patients experience... I'm talking about the voices that tell us what to do.

A big voice in my head is labeled Dad.  Sadly it's not in my Dad's actual voice but it is what I believe he'd say.  It comes across clear and loud and is unshakable in its confidence.  It's the one that said to push through college when I realized how difficult it was to become a nurse.  It's the one that said to keep sending out resumes to hospitals that had ignored my 12 previous applications.

There's another voice though.  One far more sinister.  It's what I call my 'Little Boy Voice'.  It's quiet.  It's easily ignored.  I can shut it up just about any time I want.  But it's also consistant.  It always returns.  Even when it doesnt' get it's way, it still speaks up.  Just a quiet whisper telling me what I really want to do.  While Dad's voice always makes sense, the LBV is just pure want.  There's no reason to it and therefore no reasoning with it.  Right now it's talking to me and it's saying over and over and over....

I don't wanna go ta work.

A source for Good. A source for Ill

Why is this beautiful wonderful complex thing we call 'The Internet' so damned hard for people to use?  I mean the information is there... it just take a little bit of effort to find it.

What started the idea of this is a co-worker claiming that Obama had replaced the American Flags in the white house with Muslim Prayer Curtains.

What the what!?

By the way, this was dropped in a conversation about learning a second language.  I have no idea how or why he thought this was relevant, but evidently he needed to share this bit of 'Obama is really a Muslim' information with me.

I did what came natural... I completely ignored the statement and continued on talking about how learning a second language is in and of itself a good thing as it stimulates parts of the brain that if not used will otherwise go forever unused.

When I got home I was too tired to bother looking anything up about President Obama's secret prayer curtains (so secret they're behind him in press conferences).  This morning though, I did the look up.  A simple Google search of "Obama Muslim Prayer Curtains" (Google even filled in the rest when I got to "Obama Muslim P...") lead me directly to snopes.  I love snopes.  Here's the relevant article:

Gun Rights, Mandated, M, Smells Like Creepy

A few quick hitting ideas for this post.

First up, gun rights.  I mentioned in a previous post that I bought my first handgun.  An ATI FX 45 1911.  It's a recreation of the M1911 A1, and it's a BLAST to shoot.

I've wanted to have a handgun for awhile now but was afraid that I'd missed my opportunity.  You see, I have no desire to have a gun all by myself.  My buddy who had several guns moved down to Texas.  He was the one I was going to share this hobby with.

Thankfully my brother R got his job and recently picked up his dream gun... a Kimber 1911.  His is a beautiful gun with some very nice parts.  It's not a custom gun but a custom 1911 can go for anywhere from $2500 and up.  His was 'only' about $1200.  Mine, by comparison, goes for about $500 brand new.  I paid $300 for it.

Now I really like guns.  They're fun as all get out to shoot and it's something that you can really sink your teeth into.   Being able to hit a target isn't exactly hard.  Being able to do so with both accuracy and preciseness IS difficult.  And doing so consistently requires not only the right equipment but the right skill and muscle memory.

No thanks, I'm not hungry

Just a quick post today that I might expand upon tomorrow (I work today so I don't' want to sit here typing for more than an hour!).

I haven't been hungry lately.  That's something strange for me as my problem for most of my adult life is being constantly hungry.  Yes, a lot of that had to do with diabetes, and yes I'm now being treated for that... but this has come upon me in the last couple weeks.  I've been under the same treatment for the past few months... and there's no effect of these drugs that should take 12 weeks to manifest.

So... what's eating me (pun intended)?

Yesterday was the best/worst experience in this entire non-hunger episode.   I didn't eat lunch before going to work.  Before you jump all over me, yes I DO know that you should start out every day with a good meal.  I just wasn't hungry.  So I made up a container of chicken salad for lunch at work, packed it with a baggie of triscut crackers, and went off to work.  At that point I hadn't eaten anything for 12+ hours.  At work I had a hell of a time getting TO lunch.  By that time (around 5pm) I WAS hungry.  Instead of my normal leisurely lunch I had to eat quickly so I had maybe a third of my normal meal.

Music from March

I got some good songs and have found two good 'radio' stations to listen to at work this past month.

Before I share what I've found, I thought of something at work.  I use music, at least a little, as a privilege.  While I'm working I love having music in the background.  It doesn't have to be music that I particularly love... just something that can make my head bob a bit or my toes tap on the floor.  Something that gets into me and gives me a rhythm.

This isn't unique to work.  While I'm sitting at the computer I have music playing almost all the time.  I actually am getting to the point where I don't like visiting facebook as so many people are sharing videos... to watch a video I have to pause my music.  The pausing itself isn't what bothers me.  What gets me is having the music fall away from the background.  It's not there as my primary focus you see.  It's there to have something tickle the back of my brain.  I will generally start up on one of my more recent songs, let it help set my mood, and then all songs that follow are just in the background.  Songs can flow from genre to genre without me even noticing.  NIN follows Brittney Spears, which followed Brooks and Dunn, which played after a Bach concerto, which played after Herb Alpert.

More Questions

Back in January I had a post just answering some oddball internet questions.  I thought it would be fun and something that I could do on occasion.

It WAS fun... but I never came back to it.  I honestly don't know why.  While persusing the blog this morning (after being awakened by my phones Amber Alert at 5:40 AM), I saw that I even left that post with a cliff hanger question.

OK... not much of a cliff hanger, but still.  I obviously intended to get back to it shortly.  Much like when I wrote that original post, I don't have much else to write about.  I've talked about my upcoming road trip (vacation time has been approved at work), my new watch (Kickstarter campaign ended, will get delivered in July), and my new 1911 (still haven't even loaded it).  Work is going well enough, friends are fine, family is good.  There just isn't anything on my mind.  So... back to the odd questions and hopefully thought invoking answers.  I believe I left off with this:

11) Would you break the law to save a loved one?

That's an easy question to answer.  Yes.  The question doesn't specify what law it's asking me to break but there aren't many (if any) laws that I wouldn't break to save a loved one.  'Loved one' in this equation is my immediate family (Mom, R, B, niece, nephews), and my three closest friends (A, E, and the other A).  It's easy to say that I'd break a law.  I'd jay walk.  I'd speed.  I'd drive carelessly/recklessly.  But lets get into hard core law.

A long drive

I've been planning (in the loosest sense of the word planning) several trips this spring/summer/fall.  I was hoping for an international trip as my buddy E has traveled quite a bit over seas.

Speaking of E, he lives in San Fran and I've always wanted to visit there.  And if I'm visiting friends, I want to go visit A down in Dallas.  A just bought a new house and I always enjoy spending time with his family.

In addition to these longer, more expensive trips I also want to hit up Chicago again with my local buddy A.  That would be the easiest as we could quite easily head down Saturday morning and return Sunday evening.  I wouldn't even have to talk time off for that trip.

A little quirk came up in scheduling at work recently.  As a union member there is a pretty strict way of taking vacations.  There are two vacation books per year and you put your 'request' in them.  If anybody is asking for the same days off and it will affect the scheduling then it goes by seniority.  I'm no longer the newest nurse at the prison, but I'm still fairly low on the totem pole.  By union rules the vacation book has to be available for a month before it's figured into the schedule.

Give and Take

So I was at work last week internally complaining about some skills.  There are a lot of nursing skills to know.  A LOT.  Many of them are skills that I simply don't have to know in my job.  How to use a doppler to get a bladder level.  How to give a proper bed bath.  How to perform a detox assessment.

These tasks just don't come up all that often, if ever at all.  But one that does happen almost every day at the prison is drawing blood for labs.  Monday through Friday there are between 5 and 25 separate blood draws each day.

Thankfully those are almost exclusivly performed on first shift.  That makes perfect sense as many of the blood draws have to be done after a minimum 8 hour fast.  No food, no water.  Just like in a hospital those are best performed just after waking up.  The patient then only realistically has to go without food or drink for a few hours before bed, and almost immediatly follow up the blood draw with breakfast.

Happily working on second shift means that I don't have to deal with drawing blood.  At least not all that often.  There is one test that requires the blood to be drawn just before it is delivered to the lab.  At our facility that's at 3 pm.  That's firmly in second shift territory.  Thankfully every time that's come up on a day I was working, there was a morning nurse doing her 12 hour shift and she was able to do it.  There are also occasional surprise blood draws.  For instance when an inmate has just experienced a seizure and we want to show that it wasn't in fact a seizure, we can draw blood and do a particular test.  That blood has to be drawn within an hour of the non-seizure though.

Striving

'I don't always know what the right thing to do is, my Lord, but I think the fact that I want to please you pleases you'

Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence

If you look for perfection, you'll never be content

Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it.

I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God's business

There are a million and one quotes dealing with perfection.  The vast majority of them are like these... more or less don't go for perfection as you can never achieve it.   I think I know why there are so many quotes like this... because far to many people strive for perfection.  I'm one of them.   These quotes are a good example as I was looking for that last one (not to confuse excellence with perfection).  It's a quote from Michael J Fox.  I couldn't remember it exactly so I just spent 20 minutes googling for it.

Yeah... I spent 20 minutes striving to find the prefect quote about not striving for perfection.

Ginger - A Month Later

So I've had Ginger for a little over a month now.  I've put about 1500 miles on her.  I've had her washed about 5 times.  I've filled up 4 times.  I've had people admire her, and I've had people be jealous of her.

And while I really really like her... I don't think I can say that I truly LOVE her.  At least not in the same way that I loved Fiona.

And that's not a bad thing.  Not in my eyes anyway.

Lemme go over some reasons that I LOVED Fiona.  She was unique.  Yeah, a Ford Focus isn't exactly a rare find, but it isn't the most common car out there.  In the area that I live the Hatchback is shunned quite proudly.  People around here want a coupe or a sedan.  Hatchbacks are for those hippy, hipster, euro trash commies.  Add in the Yellow Blaze paint, and she stood out even more.  It took me a good year to see another Yellow Blaze Focus Titanium in town.

Beyond having a rareness, Fiona also screamed youth.  Both in good ways and bad.  She looked like 'fun' even though a hatchback is far more useful than a trunk.  I didn't have the sport package on Fiona, but she was definitely a sporty ride.  She stated damned near flat when I'd take a curve/corner at almost any speed.  She let you feel the road (and all of the potholes).  The interior was styled after a motor cycle and just screamed youth.

She's NOT back, Depression

I'll start by saying that 'Caitlyn' is NOT back.   But I'm getting far more comfortable with her old haunts.  When I closed down the blog last June, I took a 'no Caitlyn' stance.  I still visited some other blogs, but I did that before Caitlyn.  Plus it was a way to keep in contact with some friends.  But I refused to update that blog once I hung the closed sign up.  And no, I don't consider the 'UnMasked' posts as updates.  Those were and continue to be mere attempts to ensure the blog stays up.  I didn't log into the Haven for a long time and didn't go to D+X either.  After a few months, I started to lurk.  I wouldn't allow myself to interact but I'd log into the Haven every once in awhile. It was even easier to lurk at D+X because it didn't require me to log in.

One of the things I did at D+X was to re-read some of my steamier posts.  The reaction I got from within was... odd.  On one hand I was turned on.  Not by the thought of being feminized, but just by the pure raw sexuality of the posts.  The ones that turned me on the most were actually my later posts.  By that time I was playing a fully feminized 'girl'.  I had no humiliation play or 'forced' play.  I was a woman there enjoying myself with other women, shemales, and yes even guys.  Where I remembered writing those scenes as the 'woman' I actually was enjoying them from the male perspective.

5 Block

I haven't talked much about work lately.  It really has become a J O B.  That's both wonderfully good and horribly bad.  Mostly the former.

I just want to catch up on a few things, and before I get into my major grip, I want to look at the good.

The pay is so good.  I can't get into the more soul satisfyingly good things before mentioning that.  I've had better jobs before, but I'm not at them any longer because they didn't pay well.  So the pay is good enough to keep me there and keep me happy.

I work with a wonderful and wonderfully diverse set of co workers.  I'm not sure I would call any of them true friends.  I don't hang out with these people, I don't go over to their homes, nor would I invite any of them over to mine.  There are of course some that I wouldn't want to call friends.  Bitter people that love to bitch and complain and always look for the worst in any situation.  The 'worst' is pretty easy to find when working in a prison.  So those that look for the best in any situation are truly special people.  Thankfully there are plenty of those.  While I don't consider any of them friends, I do look forward to spending time with them.  Talking with them, sharing life and work stories, and just working together.   They are a joy and make the work day go faster.

A Good Month for Musak!

It's funny how things go sometimes.  I'm constantly on the lookout for new music.  I'm listening to the radio (both music and talk), viewing iTunes' recommendations, listening to internet radio at work, and even getting tips from other music fans.  If I get a new song that I like every month, I consider that pretty good.  If I get a couple songs a month, I can consider that a bumper crop of good music.

Since my last 'musak' post, I've tagged 5.5 new songs, and I like them all.  The 0.5 comes from one being a remake.  I got the remake AND the original.  Only one is a truly 'new' song, while the others are years old but still 'new to me'.

Before I get into the songs themselves, lemme go over the various ways I listen to music.  There are currently three primary ways I consume my tuneage.  Sitting here at the computer I have my simple Bose Companion 2 series 1 speakers.  Yeah yeah, they ARE Bose so for a two speaker set up they are fairly nice, but they aren't really all that good.  They highs and mids are crystal clear, and while the bass isn't distorted, it IS diminished.  I have the car speakers.  Fiona's system was grand.  It was VERY bass heavy, but that was due to the 6 inch sub-woofer in a proper box.  Ginger's system is a more full sound, but not nearly as good at loud levels.  She has two subs, but they are sitting in the back deck behind the rear seats.  They don't have a good box underneath them, so they aren't very loud.  When the volume goes up the various speakers (I think there's 11 speakers in Ginger) start to distort long before I get to max volume   The last method used to be my clock radio, but is now my phone.  Thankfuly the Nexus 6 has stereo speakers that are perfectly balanced at quiet levels.  At 'normal' listening levels and certainly at loud levels the speakers come across as very "tinny", but while drifting off to sleep and the speakers at almost off levels, they sound pretty good.

2 Weeks With Ginger

I’ve had Ginger for just under 2 weeks now.  It’s not really enough time to give a good review, but I can give some highlights.

The ride on Ginger is smooth as silk.  She glides over bumps and humps and hardly shakes the cabin.  That’s wonderful on these horrible winter roads and great on those hour long drives to and from work.  I imagine that the tradeoff will come from losing that tight sports car like handling that Fiona had.  Fiona could corner like nobody’s business.  I imagine if I ever get Ginger up to spend and try to change direction that I’ll find her leaning heavily against the turn. 

I’m getting mixed results on the mileage.  So far all of it has been better than Fiona which is saying a LOT.  Fiona, in the winter time, was getting between 32 and 34 miles per gallon.  I figured that by the most accurate method… gallons into the tank while filling up divided by miles driven since the last fill up.  Well… I haven’t been able to use that method with Ginger yet.  I did fill up her tank once, but I hadn’t set the trip odometer when I picked her up.  I will have to fill up the tank again either today or tomorrow and then I’ll get a good measurement.  For now I’m just using Ginger’s own computer and that says I’m getting a low of 34 miles per gallon on one slippery trip from work and a high of 42 miles per gallon on a really nice trip to work.