GTA V and a Game Controller

Back in October of 2013 I bemoaned the fact that I didn't play as many video games.  That fact is still true.  I rarely get the time to sit back and play TF2.

In November of 2014 I more or less built a computer so I could play a new game.  Now don't get me wrong, I LOVED building that computer for so many reasons... but the original spark for doing so at that particular time was a video game.  Assassin's Creed Unity.

Well... I still haven't finished playing that game.  It's fun, but not nearly as fun as the previous Assassin's Creed games.  If you know anything about the AC games, you remember that the game is basically told in two parts.  The present with a group of young assassin's using a machine to live out a past life, and the past life they're living out.  Well, a couple games ago in the series they killed off the main protagonist in the 'present'.  That kind of killed half of the game.  Yes there is still a person in the present living through the past, but the story is told mostly in shadows.  You have to think and read between the lines to continue the 'present' story line.  This game is the same... it's primarily about being an Assassin around the time of the French revolution.

Yawn.

Backache

I've had a back problem going on for about 5 years now.  Back when I was working retail it just hit one day.  I was bending over to pick some products up off of a pallet and BAM... it was like an electric bolt in my lower back.

The pain quickly faded, but when I went to move said product to a shelf, it came screaming back.  Again, it only lasted a moment but I couldn't seem to move at all without it striking.

As it struck over and over and over, a dull ache worked its way in and replaced the relative pain free experience between lightning strikes of pain.

Now before I go on I want to explain what lead to this problem.  I was bending over at the back and lifting up a hefty object.  It wasn't anything I'd have to strain at, but it was several pounds.  I know from both education and common sense (as well as store training) to lift with my legs.  The problem is, since I was a very young boy, I've had a problem with my knees.  You see, my knees face 'outward' quite a bit.  My knees face so far out that my feet follow suit and point somewhere off to my left and right.  This means that bending my knees isn't exactly easy and is often quite painful.  If I stress my knees to much, they'll ache constantly for hours and hours.  Sometimes they'll ache for days.  So I've learned to NOT lift with my legs and rely on my sturdy back.

Road Funding

So it seems my state government isn't even good at their job.  They need something done, can't figure out how to do it while keeping up their 'No New Taxes' rant, so they're turning to the people of Michigan.

I talked a bit about this in December.  Our roads are bad, and we need more money to fix them.  At the time, the two houses of the legislature had different ideas.  One was to raise more taxes by raising the gas tax.  One was to NOT raise more money and take some from the education fund.

They couldn't agree on how to do it.  Understand, we're 90 yards down the field.  We know the problem (road are bad and have been underfunded for years), we know how to fix them (fund them properly).  We just can't agree on HOW to fund them properly.

We in Michigan know about road problems.  We have some of the worst circumstances.  There are a lot of cars in Michigan (both a big population and a lot of car ownership for that population).  We use our roads a lot, both for personal travel and for hauling goods.  Personal travel as we often live far away from where we work, and hauling as we manufacture a lot of goods and haul a lot of goods out of Canada and out of the state.  We're in the cold enough region that our extended freeze/thaw seasons get water into the cracks in the road and open those cracks up to the point that the roads fail.   All of that adds up to this...we have a lot of roads that are more expensive to build and more expensive to maintain.

Dreams and...

I had a nightmare last night.  I don't remember anything more than the fact that I had a nightmare though, and that actually makes worse.  Normally in the bright light of day I can suss out what my brain was thinking/doing.  But now here's all I remember:

I laid down for bed.  The last time I remember seeing on the clock was 1:30 am.  I woke up at 2:45 am scared.   It was dark, I was feeling distinctly alone, I didn't know where I was or why I was there.... and I was scared.

I did eventually figure out the who/what/why/wheres, and did fall back to sleep rather quickly.  But that scared feeling remained when I woke up fully this morning at 8:30 am.

I'm not one to have a lot of nightmares.  Or dreams.  At least not for the past several years.  Medically I know that I AM dreaming... those who don't dream have mental issues.  I just don't remember them.  I don't even have the impression of experiencing them.  I go to sleep, I wake up, I start my day.  No good thoughts/feelings or bad thoughts/feelings.   But I've now had two nightmares this past week.  If this past nightmare was my only experience, I probably would have just forgotten the whole thing in a day or so.... but having two in a week?  What the hell is my mind worrying about?

Little Boy Voice

We all have voices in our heads.  No, I'm not talking about the ones many of my patients experience... I'm talking about the voices that tell us what to do.

A big voice in my head is labeled Dad.  Sadly it's not in my Dad's actual voice but it is what I believe he'd say.  It comes across clear and loud and is unshakable in its confidence.  It's the one that said to push through college when I realized how difficult it was to become a nurse.  It's the one that said to keep sending out resumes to hospitals that had ignored my 12 previous applications.

There's another voice though.  One far more sinister.  It's what I call my 'Little Boy Voice'.  It's quiet.  It's easily ignored.  I can shut it up just about any time I want.  But it's also consistant.  It always returns.  Even when it doesnt' get it's way, it still speaks up.  Just a quiet whisper telling me what I really want to do.  While Dad's voice always makes sense, the LBV is just pure want.  There's no reason to it and therefore no reasoning with it.  Right now it's talking to me and it's saying over and over and over....

I don't wanna go ta work.

A source for Good. A source for Ill

Why is this beautiful wonderful complex thing we call 'The Internet' so damned hard for people to use?  I mean the information is there... it just take a little bit of effort to find it.

What started the idea of this is a co-worker claiming that Obama had replaced the American Flags in the white house with Muslim Prayer Curtains.

What the what!?

By the way, this was dropped in a conversation about learning a second language.  I have no idea how or why he thought this was relevant, but evidently he needed to share this bit of 'Obama is really a Muslim' information with me.

I did what came natural... I completely ignored the statement and continued on talking about how learning a second language is in and of itself a good thing as it stimulates parts of the brain that if not used will otherwise go forever unused.

When I got home I was too tired to bother looking anything up about President Obama's secret prayer curtains (so secret they're behind him in press conferences).  This morning though, I did the look up.  A simple Google search of "Obama Muslim Prayer Curtains" (Google even filled in the rest when I got to "Obama Muslim P...") lead me directly to snopes.  I love snopes.  Here's the relevant article:

Gun Rights, Mandated, M, Smells Like Creepy

A few quick hitting ideas for this post.

First up, gun rights.  I mentioned in a previous post that I bought my first handgun.  An ATI FX 45 1911.  It's a recreation of the M1911 A1, and it's a BLAST to shoot.

I've wanted to have a handgun for awhile now but was afraid that I'd missed my opportunity.  You see, I have no desire to have a gun all by myself.  My buddy who had several guns moved down to Texas.  He was the one I was going to share this hobby with.

Thankfully my brother R got his job and recently picked up his dream gun... a Kimber 1911.  His is a beautiful gun with some very nice parts.  It's not a custom gun but a custom 1911 can go for anywhere from $2500 and up.  His was 'only' about $1200.  Mine, by comparison, goes for about $500 brand new.  I paid $300 for it.

Now I really like guns.  They're fun as all get out to shoot and it's something that you can really sink your teeth into.   Being able to hit a target isn't exactly hard.  Being able to do so with both accuracy and preciseness IS difficult.  And doing so consistently requires not only the right equipment but the right skill and muscle memory.

No thanks, I'm not hungry

Just a quick post today that I might expand upon tomorrow (I work today so I don't' want to sit here typing for more than an hour!).

I haven't been hungry lately.  That's something strange for me as my problem for most of my adult life is being constantly hungry.  Yes, a lot of that had to do with diabetes, and yes I'm now being treated for that... but this has come upon me in the last couple weeks.  I've been under the same treatment for the past few months... and there's no effect of these drugs that should take 12 weeks to manifest.

So... what's eating me (pun intended)?

Yesterday was the best/worst experience in this entire non-hunger episode.   I didn't eat lunch before going to work.  Before you jump all over me, yes I DO know that you should start out every day with a good meal.  I just wasn't hungry.  So I made up a container of chicken salad for lunch at work, packed it with a baggie of triscut crackers, and went off to work.  At that point I hadn't eaten anything for 12+ hours.  At work I had a hell of a time getting TO lunch.  By that time (around 5pm) I WAS hungry.  Instead of my normal leisurely lunch I had to eat quickly so I had maybe a third of my normal meal.

Music from March

I got some good songs and have found two good 'radio' stations to listen to at work this past month.

Before I share what I've found, I thought of something at work.  I use music, at least a little, as a privilege.  While I'm working I love having music in the background.  It doesn't have to be music that I particularly love... just something that can make my head bob a bit or my toes tap on the floor.  Something that gets into me and gives me a rhythm.

This isn't unique to work.  While I'm sitting at the computer I have music playing almost all the time.  I actually am getting to the point where I don't like visiting facebook as so many people are sharing videos... to watch a video I have to pause my music.  The pausing itself isn't what bothers me.  What gets me is having the music fall away from the background.  It's not there as my primary focus you see.  It's there to have something tickle the back of my brain.  I will generally start up on one of my more recent songs, let it help set my mood, and then all songs that follow are just in the background.  Songs can flow from genre to genre without me even noticing.  NIN follows Brittney Spears, which followed Brooks and Dunn, which played after a Bach concerto, which played after Herb Alpert.