The pain quickly faded, but when I went to move said product to a shelf, it came screaming back. Again, it only lasted a moment but I couldn't seem to move at all without it striking.
As it struck over and over and over, a dull ache worked its way in and replaced the relative pain free experience between lightning strikes of pain.
Now before I go on I want to explain what lead to this problem. I was bending over at the back and lifting up a hefty object. It wasn't anything I'd have to strain at, but it was several pounds. I know from both education and common sense (as well as store training) to lift with my legs. The problem is, since I was a very young boy, I've had a problem with my knees. You see, my knees face 'outward' quite a bit. My knees face so far out that my feet follow suit and point somewhere off to my left and right. This means that bending my knees isn't exactly easy and is often quite painful. If I stress my knees to much, they'll ache constantly for hours and hours. Sometimes they'll ache for days. So I've learned to NOT lift with my legs and rely on my sturdy back.
At least it WAS sturdy.
When my back ached those 5 years ago, I figured I'd finally pulled a muscle. Being that it was in my lower back it would take a long time to heal. I did what the average American would do... I ignored it and figured it would get better whenever it damned well wanted to.
That was stupid. So after a couple weeks of it hurting almost constantly, I took a week off of work. I thought that a week of letting it relax would aid in the healing. I was kind of right. After that week I was able to return to work, but the pain soon returned. I tried to compensate by keeping my back straight and lowering myself with my legs, but I couldn't make it through a single shift without my knees more or less giving out.
So... since then I've accepted that I have a 'bad back'. Most days it will ache a little. When I really use it by lifting or bending over, it will act up but it will calm back down and settle into that low ache for the rest of the day. On bad days I can treat it with ibuprofen (800mg), but that only takes the edge off.
That pattern of hurt a lot and hurt less went on and on for five years. I got used to it. At least one week in four were going to be 'bad' weeks. I really noticed just how often it was hurting this year after I started taking the propranlol. You see without my headache taking center stage, I could 'focus' on my back hurting.
Sometime in early February I 'pulled' it again. I was leaving work after a snowy/icy day and just as I opened my car door, I slipped. I naturally caught myself as nobody wants to fall flat on their face... but that 'catch' pulled the living fuck out of my back. This was the lightning pain but it didn't quickly fade. I sat in my car for a good five minutes just praying for it to stop.
It eventually calmed down enough so that I could drive home. I started my wait. This was more intense than a normal 'ache', but it should follow the same pattern right? After a few days it would calm down and return to that general low level 'ache' that was entirely tolerable. It took almost two weeks... and then I pulled it again. Same intense pain that didn't fade for minutes. Same long slow recovery. And then I pulled it again.
It's been over two months now and I can't break out of that cycle. I've almost called in to work a few times as it's hindering my ability to perform my job. As a nurse, I have to bend over quite a bit. Whenever I put a BP cuff on someone I have to bend forward. Whenever I have to do a physical assessment I have to bend over a bit. The worst is taking a temperature. My patients are always sitting down, so I have to bend forward, put the probe under their tongue, and hold it until I get a result. I hold it, as opposed to my patient, because I'm also taking their blood pressure and their pulse ox so their hands aren't free. Well... I can only hold that bent forward position for so long. My back starts to scream and I find it difficult to hold still. Understand, I have a metal probe situated under someones tongue. If I sway backwards at all, I'm pulling it out of position and will be unable to get a temp (meaning I'll have to move it back forward and start the clock over. If I sway forward... well I'm shoving this probe into their tongue right where it connects to the floor of their mouth. Talk about ouch.
I try to hold still, but I start swaying back and forth often enough that I now just pull it out and lie about their temp. Yup... I'm putting down false information into their chart.
I'm not proud of it and that's why I've considered calling into work.
Now, I've had insurance for a year and a half now. I've been to the doctor several times. But there's a reason I haven't taken on this problem directly. It's pretty rare for back problems to be resolved in a satisfactory way. It all depends on what exactly is wrong and how much it's affecting your life. It could be a pulled muscle. It's obviously not the same muscle for five years but I could have weakened an entire muscle group and therefore made it easier to pull it again and again and again. It could be nerve damage. It could be bone.
If it's muscle... I'm screwed. There is no 'repair'. The path forward would involve physical therapy where I'd mainly learn stretching techniques. Techniques that aid... they don't heal. The path would also involve pain meds... but beyond what I'm already taking (800mg ibuprofen, sometimes supplemented with 500mg acetaminophen), the options quickly move into narcotics. Narcotics might feel good, but they'd preclude my ability to work. So those are simply put, a no go.
Nerve and bone problems wouldn't be treated with PT. They'd either be pure drugs or surgery. The problem with surgery is that the result of cutting into your back and manipulating bone/disc/nerves is... pain. Yeah, back surgery leads to chronic back pain. So unless the pain is crippling, or regularly stopping me from working surgery just isn't worth it.
And.... well that's about it. If I bring this up to my doctor, he'll want to get some imaging. X-Ray's probably. Then he'll study them. Then we'll have a follow up where I'll be presented with drugs I'm already taking, drugs I don't want o take, therapy that won't help in the long run, or surgery that will leave me in my current state.
I have a doctor's appointment this coming Monday. I've been considering telling him about it and the main reason for writing this post was to get my thoughts together on the subject. I think what I'll do is mention it. It HAS been pretty bad for a couple months. But it's not at the stage where I feel any action is worth the effort. Yet. It's best if I just let him know about it so if it continues for several more months I'm not coming out of the blue and telling him that I've had a pretty severe back problem for nine months without telling him.
If it DOES last that long, then I'll be ready for some help.
I ended up not mentioning the recurring back aches to the doc. It feels like just after I wrote this post, my back sorted itself out. It's been in the standard stance for a week now. Slightly achy, but not enough to warrant doing anything about. Ah well.
ReplyDeleteThe visit to the doc was mostly just to check in. He was very happy about the A1C number and said checking my blood sugar a couple times a week was fine. I'll see him in three months after a fresh A1C. I think that's the moment that I'll bring up another round of quitting smoking... maybe I'll try chantix this time. I have plenty of time to go over it though as the appointment isn't until late July.