Migraines
I've had two migraines since I last updated, both lasting four days. The only oddity was that there wasn't a full postdrome day in between them. The first migraine definitely ended about mid day leaving me with a massive headache. But the second migraine started up the next morning. I don't know how to count that. Was it one migraine with a pause? Two migraines that were just closer together? Either way, it was another first.
On the chiropractor front, I had my initial visit the day after my last posting. As unimpressed as I was with the process of getting the appointment, I was very impressed with the chiropractor himself. His assessment/questions were thorough and went along about how I thought they would. I got a full set of X-rays that he went over with me but they only showed a slightly straightened neck, a mildly compressed disc, and hips that are slightly out of alignment.
Notice the word 'slight' there. That's a lot of 'slight' problems and to me at least wouldn't account for a major problem. But, he says he's treated patients with migraines before. The last thing he said before we got into the treatment plan and actual treatments, was that he couldn't promise anything. We might end up eliminating the migraines, we might reduce the intensity or frequency or both, or we might do nothing. I was happy with that, because if he promised he could do anything I'd probably have just walked out. No medical professional should promise results. The body just has to many variables.
The treatment is... an adjustment? I think that's what he called it. Basically, I lay face down on a table (there's a space for my face to fit into). My feet are hanging off the edge of the table and he uses them to pull down (pull my legs/shins against the table) then asks me to look right. Pull, ask me to look left. Pull, ask me to look down again. He then comes up beside me on one side or the other and uses a spring loaded tool to snap at my vertebrae. I can't be sure he's always hitting the same vertebrae, but I think he is. I then rubs at it for a bit then has me flip over to my back. Once on my back he lifts up my head, cradling it, and has his fingers holding the back of my neck. He then asks me to look to the right for a few moments then look to the left for a similar amount of time.
And that's it. He wants daily appointments "to begin with". I had four that first week. It would have continued this week, but his office closed down for 'spring break' and my appointments will resume next week. On my first two appointments I had a bad migraine so I wasn't fully mentally there. On the third appointment I asked him some questions I should have asked on the first day, like when could I expect to notice any difference. I reminded him that all I'm concerned about is the migraines. Intensity, frequency, or anything along those lines. If he makes my neck, shoulders, hips, back, and legs feel better but does nothing for the migraines, then I'm done and will not return. He said he'd like to first assess after 12 visits. That means I'll be assessing the treatments with him on April 10th, assuming I can get daily appointments.
One last word on the chiropractor - I know that there are styles of practices. I personally like the stuffy professional style. Nurses and medical assistants in scrubs, a lot of Misters and Sirs when talking to me along with me providing the same respect back. I'm only at a medical practice for a serious reason, so I don't want to be calmed or relaxed. This chiropractic office isn't that. It feels like there's just the chiropractor and his... receptionist? Secretary? I don't know what she'd be called as she didn't seem to have any medical or chiropractic reason to be there other than to set up appointments and hand out paperwork. She's VERY chatty and seemingly happy to just be alive. On my first three appointments, she had her baby there. Her young, fussy, crying baby. I'm sure you can imagine how happy I was about that while experiencing a migraine. They also have a dog. A beagle mix of some kind. It would pad along the floor with it's claws making a racket.
Again, I'll base this on the results and not the atmosphere, but this isn't anywhere near an ideal situation for me.
Oh, and as for cost, I was charged $120 in 'cash' (I put it on a credit card) for my first visit while they tried to figure out if my insurance would cover it. After the four days they still haven't heard anything back, so I looked up my own coverage. If they are in network, they'll cover the initial assessment including x-rays and any subsequent adjustment for $20 a visit. Just like any other doctor or specialist visit. If they're out of network, they'll cover 80%.
I couldn't find them listed on my insurance company's website, so I assume they're out of network. The strange thing is that they cost of daily adjustments are $40. So if they cover 80% of that, I'd owe $8 per visit as opposed to the $20 copay. So I'd end up paying LESS if they're out of network? Seems strange to me. Regardless, the insurance would only cover 24 appointments per year, so if this isn't working after 12 and I have to pay for it all out of pocket, it won't be too bad.
Other Health
No changes, nothing to report
Finances
Here's the huge news. I was taking a nap yesterday and was woken up by a phone call. It was my appeals specialist from my long term disability (LTD) company. She told me she'd received my comment and my neurologists update and sent them on to the independent medical examiner. That's basically where I left off last time, except it included the confirmation that they've received them.
She then told me she had received a report back from the independent medical examiner and that he agreed, I should remain on disability.
I was so shocked that I was afraid I might be dreaming. Remember, I've been thinking that I'd be denied, so any word that I would get approved is amazing and surprising. She did say that there was one problem in that my neurologist needed to update his paperwork. Two questions they ask is the dates of the disability and the expected return to work date. Now, the obvious medical answer is "unknown". My neurologist can't say with any certainty if this treatment is going to work. So he put on his paperwork that my date of disability was from August of last year (the date I was claiming the beginning of disability payments) to 'ongoing'. He put my return to work date as 'undetermined'.
That seems reasonable to me, but I guess they need a date for the LTD to either end or be re-assessed. So, she suggested that they simply put the date of my next neurology appointment down for those dates which is August 30th of 2024. That's not me, nor my neurologist, but the appeals specialist of the LTD company saying if he puts that date in those two places, they'll approve my disability from December of 2023 (remember, it's been cut off since November 30 of last year!) through August 30 of 2024. That's about $15,000 in back pay as well as $20,000 in future pay.
She was also clear that the disability could be extended at that point if I was still unable to return to work.
She sent me my neurologist's previous note so that I could explain what needed to be changed. I almost immediately forwarded a highlighted copy of the note along with an explanation of what I needed and a blank form so that they could write it out again. This was at 4:30 yesterday afternoon and I was expecting a response in a day or so. Instead, I got a response before 8:00 this morning from a medical assistant saying she's written up the new note and will get fax it out as soon as she gets the nurologist's signature on it, no later than the end of business today. And then I got another response from her just 45 minutes later saying she'd gotten his signature and it was faxed out!
So, if the Namenda works and I'm able to return to work, my disability will stop at the end of August but I'll be able to get gainful employment again. I might look into returning to the prison, but more than likely will return to my last job. I know, I know... I hated that job. But it will be the quickest way to return to gainful employment. After a year there I can then look to return to the prison. And if the Namenda isn't working, my neurologist and I can discuss the next option at my August appointment, fill out the paperwork saying I'm still not able to return to work, and hopefully easily get the LTD extended.
Now, as excited as I am, this isn't a completely done deal. Per the appeals specialist's phone call (and yes, her title is "Appeals Specialist") I just need to get my neurologist to add the date of our next appointment to his last statement and then they'll approve the extension of benefits. On her email she typed "Please have (my neurologist) provide an update Healthcare Provider Statement so we can reinstate benefits." To emphasize it "... SO WE CAN REINSTATE BENEFITS". To me, that sounds like a done deal, especially now that my neurologist's office has sent in the requested updated statement. But I've been bitten before. I've had my hopes and dreams played with over and over again. So I won't believe this is truly done until two things happen. First, I receive an official notice that my LTD has been extended. And second, I get the money deposited in my account.
Per the last official document my appeals specialist sent me, they've received a report from my "... Independent Physician Advisor which will be taken into consideration in making the determination on your appeal." I can choose to submit additional information and they'll have 14 days to review it. Finally, "A determination can be expected on or before June 5, 2024"
I was getting paid twice a month before they stopped. But their own paperwork says that if the LTD goes more than 6 months, the payments will switch to once a month. It just doesn't specify when in that month it would be paid. I guess technically it could be paid at the end of the month.
SO... if this goes well but still takes as long as freaking possible, they could make their determination on June 5th of this year. They could then take until the end of June to pay me all the back pay (which at that point would be over $25,000) and make my 'next' payment at the end of July. My cash on hand runs out next month.
Before, I would have just cashed in my 401k and lived off that. But being this close to certain that the LTD will eventually come through, I could just borrow the monthly money I'd need from mom and pay her back when the backpay gets deposited into my account. And if the worst happens... I assume it's going to work out and I start borrowing money from Mom in April... and they 'determine' in June that I DO NOT get any more money at all, I can still cash in my 401k at that point, pay Mom back, and then continue to live off that. But that scenario of them denying me any money would just be cruel on the my appeals specialist's part. Remember "... SO WE CAN REINSTATE BENEFITS" She sound confident herself.
Hopefully I'll be able to report on an upcoming 'Update' post that I've received the determination and am now receiving monthly payments.
One last thing on finances. I had barely gotten the LTD set up before it was pulled out from under me. Remember, I started asking for this in August. They didn't approve it until October. At that point I took their 'back pay' of August and September, as well as a withdraw from my 401k to eliminate as many bills as I could. I paid off Tiffany and all credit card bills. Then just a month later, the money dried up and I was left with whatever I had in the bank. I ran that into the ground in mid January and had to pull more money out of my 401k. So, since leaving my job, my finances have been in flux. If/when this gets approved and starts paying me, I've decided I'm going to pick up on some bills that I haven't paid in over a year. It's just three small bills, but they mean a lot to me. Rent, Netflix, and a portion of the Xfinity bill.
I've been paying a minimal 'rent' payment to Mom since I got state employment in November of 2013. It wasn't enough to honestly cover the room and board I'm using, but it was symbolic. I wasn't just living off of her, I was living with her. Early the following year I started paying for the family's Netflix bill as she wanted to cancel it and I wanted it to continue. It was under her name and I didn't see a reason to cancel that, set up my old account again, and change everybody's log in information, so I just transferred $10 a month into her account. Anytime Netflix rose it's price, I paid that extra amount (the current plan is $22.99). And finally, about a year later, when Mom was complaining about the Xfinity bill as it was over $300, I said I would pay for "my third" of the bill. Honestly, I was hoping that R would pick up "his third" but that didn't happen. At least I felt I was paying for my internet access, even if I rarely watched the cable TV and even more rarely used the home phone. Around January of last year, my checks were getting so small from calling in sick to work so much, that I had to stop those bills. Mom understood, but it still hurt me.
Well, planning out my bills from now until October with the assumption of making the same amount of money via LTD as I was before they stopped it, I can afford to pick those 'Mom' bills back up. It's not much in the grand scheme of things... but it will make a big impact on my pride.
Family/Friends
B has been charging his car for awhile now, but it hasn't been long enough for me to ask how its going. He did find out another disappointment though. Ford has the 'MyFord' app where you can remotely access your car. You can start it, unlock it, check the odometer, see how much gas/charge it has, and set up appointments with a nearby dealership. You can even track your car when it's parked (in case you forgot where you parked it). I found it kind of useful on Isabella, Nina, and still use it on Tiffany. I told B about it and just assumed he could use it as he has a 2019 Ford Fusion just like I have a 2019 Lincoln Nautilus.
Well... no. His 2019 Ford Fusion seems to have had a 3G modem that gave him access to those features. Last year, 2023, Ford lost access to that 3G network. You can upgrade your car's modem to a 4G one, but it costs around $500. The reason mine still works is that the 2019 Lincoln Nautilus came with a 4G modem. It's not a big deal and certainly not something that B is upset about, but it's still a bummer.
With the financial situation close to settled, I should start thinking about a summer vacation with A and E. We agreed we'd take one this year. But as much as I'd love to travel and visit with them, I have to consider how much trouble it would be with the migraines. It's one thing to hang out with A at his house where I can escape to a dark room, but what am I going to do in a big city? For instance, say we go to New York and get a hotel room. If a migraine starts ramping up one afternoon, do I have to travel back to the hotel and then 'hole up' there? What doe A and E do? Continue having fun? Hang out with me when I need it to be quiet and dark?
I don't know if it will work out. I guess it depends on where we want to go. I could always drive out to visit E in San Fran. Flying would be out, but driving for four days, spending a week there, then driving for four days back might be cool. Maybe A could fly in and hang out with us like E did last year.
I don't know. It's something I have to start giving thought to, as both A and E will need time to get their work schedules set.
Entertainment
So a few days ago I had a pretty bad migraine. A perfect day to just pick an old movie and put it on. I could watch it if my eyes allowed or bow my head and just listen to it. The movie I ended up picking was Superman. The 1978 Christopher Reeve, Superman. After it was done, I just did the logical thing I cued up Superman II. The next day, instead of moving back to finish off the Expanse or some other new movie, I figured I'd watch all of the 'Donner' Superman movies. The 'Donnerverse' if you please.
It was all fine and straightforward from Superman, to Superman II, to Superman III, to Supergirl, to Superman IV the Quest for Peace. But it got complicated with Superman Returns. Watching that movie, it's clear in the first few minutes that it's a 'sequel' to the Donner Superman movies. But at the same time, it has Superman's mother in it, and she was referred to as dead in Superman III. So, I did my research and found out that Superman Returns is the sequel to Superman and Superman II. But specifically, the Superman II Donnercut edition.
I really didn't want to watch another version of a movie that I'd just seen, so I read up on what the 'donenrcut' was. Basically, Superman didn't time travel in the first Superman movie to save Lois Lane, but DID time travel in the second movie so that people would forget about the evil Kryptonians. Fine. I can deal with that. But while reading up on this, I found out that Brandon Routh, who played Clark Kent and Superman in Superman Returns, reprised the role when the Arrowverse of TV shows had their big 'Crisis on Infinite Earths' crossover event. Brandon Routh comes back as an older Superman and actually references the fight he had with his Clark Kent and evil Superman self. That was Superman III. Soo..... the timeline of the Donnerverse Superman goes like this:
Superman, Superman II, Superman Returns, Superman III, Supergirl, Superman IV, Crisis on Infinite Earths.
Yeah, but that whole multiverse/timetravel thing that comics do, screws things up. Because part of Crisis on Infinite Earths is Barry' Allen playing 'The Flash' from the DCU movies. Those movies are the ones that include Henry Cavill as Superman in Man of Steel, Batman v Superman, and Justice League (and the Snyder cut of Justice League).
So, to watch all of the Donnerverse Superman, I've watched:
Superman, Superman II, Superman REturns, Superman III, Supergirl, and Superman IV.
And I'll need to watch:
Man of Steel, Batman v Superman, and the Snyder cut of Justice League (because it's WAY better than the original version).
By the way, that Crisis on Infinite Earths was a crossover for the CW series including Supergirl, Batwoman, The Flash, Arrow, and Legends of Tomorrow. But it also included cameos that included the aforementioned Brandon Routh Superman, characters from Smallville, Louis and Superman, the DCU Flash, and Kevin Conroy as Bruce Wayne / Batman. If that name doesn't sound familiar, it's the voice actor that portrayed Batman and Bruce Wayne in Batman the Animated Series, the movie Batman The Mask of the Phantasm, and Batman Beyond. He actually gets to play Batman in the flesh! That's worth the price of admission right there!
New Tech
Nothing new to report here.
Writing
Since I last wrote about It's a Man's World, I wrote 5 chapters. I covered what I talked about including having Joy put through her paces by her new owner and getting her branded. I left off the last chapter with Joy getting access to her Eileen and seeing Atticus and Catty again. But two days ago I went to write the following chapter and it just got clogged up.
I know I need to take Joy, Atticus, and Catty, into the final society where the women will have lots of sex as they're 'worshiped' there. This is the, to me at least, best part of the story. I just need to get Joy out of Gilead. The chapter I started writing had Atticus establishing that he'd played Gilead's system against itself and was now wealthy, but not nearly wealthy enough to buy Joy. So after being turned down for a cash offer, Atticus brought up a wager. Whomever could make their sexual partner orgasm first, would win both. He'd have sex with his 'wife' Catty and Isiah would have sex with his 'girl' Joy. Isiah took the wager but with a change.... he'd have sex with Catty and Atticus would have sex with Joy.
But even as I was writing it, it felt too extreme. Not too far, as I've taken this story into some strange new areas for me, but too shoehorned in. Like I was forcing Atticus and Joy to have sex. And a sex wager? How cheesy is that. Even though it would have worked and could have been squirmy wonderful (Joy, formerly Jim, having sex with Atticus, formerly his boss when both of them were male... yougettheidea), it just didn't feel right.
I think I'm going to scrap that and try again. I might also do the whole thing where I tell you something happened, but Joy doesn't remember so I can't show you what happened. Like her 'waking up' on the train, only barely remembering Atticus pulling a gun and then she got hit over the head and doesn't remember anything else. I don't like that idea, but I'll use it if I can't figure out how to get from where I left the story to where I need it to go.
One other thing... this story isn't being read all that much on CHYOA. Only the first four chapters have more than 1000 reads on them. The last 5 chapters barely have over 100 reads. When I was writing Gamer Gurl, it had a lot more reads as I was writing. Chapters would quickly get up to over 200 reads within me posting a new chapter.
I haven't given it much thought, but there are a few things that make this sorry different. One, it's a LOT darker. Darker than I thought it would be. Two, it's the first time I've used a sci-fi style of technology. Sure, Gamer Gurl and Just Dance and Thesis all had fictional ways of making the guys into girls, but it was still based in 'today' and was barely stretching what could really happen. This is time travel and instant genetic swapping and computers manipulating your nervous system and high speed information networks.
I think that second one is important because it's new to me in this long form of writing. When I have a new concept I have to first describe the concept then utilize it in a scene. It's twice as much and therefore twice as tedious. And since I'm keeping the 'chapters' the same length, it's leaving less room for character development. Sure, I've had more raw sex than I ever did in any other story, and I believe the sex scenes are sexy... but I'm just not sure that's enough to get and retain an audience.
I'd like to think that I'll still finish the story as I want to see what happens next... but this is the bad side of seeing people read along as you write. When they DON'T read along, it kind of hurts.
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