There should be a lot to talk about since February, but honestly January feels like several days ago. And several years ago. Both at the same time. So lets try to figure out and remember all the stuff that's happened. Oh, and I got a new job!
Health
This is actually why I thought to write this post. At least write it at this moment. You see, I've had this on again, off again issue. It's happened at least three times before and it always seems to last a few days. I think I have a hernia. Its on my left side, above my groin, just about under my belt line (I admittedly wear my belt low). It hurts, but not how I'd imagine a hernia should hurt and it's almost always accompanied by constipation. Not necessarily the inability to have a bowel movement, but difficulty and a less than normal movement (either harder or softer than normal).
Now, I've felt hernias in patients before but I can't feel this one (if it is one). I feel where the pain is coming from, but not a bulge or bump. And the pain will often move over the few days getting closer to the center line of my body and feeling more inward... deeper.
That makes me think that its just constipation and I'm feeling my colon working it out. Goddess knows that we have to deal with guys complaining of abdominal pain that end up being constipated. I mean, they complain loudly enough that we send them in for X-Rays. Anyway... I know when a hernia needs surgical intervention there is no mistaking it. The pain will be unbearable or I'll have fever, nausea, and vomiting. Any of those symptoms would send me to the doctor so I'll just bear with this for now.
There are two other issues. One is back pain. I've had this pain in my lower back since... lord, I didn't have it in high school but know that I had it in photo school. So I got it somewhere in that six year gap. Anyway I know it got a HELL of a lot worse when working at K-Mart stocking shelves. I leaned over and forward and tried to lift a weighty box. It wasn't overly heavy, but I was extending myself far to much and blam, like a lightning blast, the entire right side of my back hurt. Bad. It ended up sending me home that day and lasted for about a week, but it got better. Ever since then, it comes and goes. That particular pain was one of the reasons I got rid of Nina. She was causing that pain more and more. Well, it's back and has been back for about a month now. I want to say its my bed as its the worst in the morning (have to roll out of bed in a very particular way to minimize it) and practically goes away by evening. BUT, I'd hate to buy a new bed and find out that it's something else. I just bought this bed 4 years ago and beds just aren't cheap.
We'll see on the back. The final issue is the rarest, but it's happened twice in a month including yesterday. My hip gives out. My right hip suddenly feels very sharp pain. Pain, on a 0-10 pain scale where 0 is no pain and 10 is the worst thing I can imagine, of an 8 or 9. That's bad migraine headache territory. It takes my breath away and forced me to move even if it's not in a place where moving to avoid the pain is a good idea... but if I don't move I'm going to just crumple down. And then it's gone. 0 pain, 8 pain, 0 pain. I'll feel it on and off for hours and it doesn't seem to have a particular position or weight bearing movement to cause it. It just hits and goes away while standing. From the first time I feel it to it being gone for the rest of the day it only takes a few minutes. Maybe an hour. I really have no idea what this may be. If it was a degenerative hip socket, it would be getting worse. It isn't. It just occurs, then goes away. So... I dunno, I guess I'll wait and see.
I talked about going to the endocrinologist in my last update post but focused on the weight loss. That seems to have settled down in the mid 230s. I can be happy with between 10 and 20 pounds heavier than I was in high school. Especially when you consider that I'm two inches taller than I was in high school. While I still have my big gut, it's not nearly as 'full' as it was before. My arms and legs are far skinnier. Even my face and neck are skinnier. But I don't want to talk about weight, I want to talk about insulin.
As a recap, my general doctor started me on insulin at 5 units per day. We'd go for a week measuring my daily blood sugars (which were running in the high 300s all the time) and if they didn't come down we'd up it. Sometimes by a few units, sometimes by 5 units. By the time I saw the endocrinologist I was at 60 units of insulin a day. By adding Farxiga and Ozempic we'd reduced my insulin down to 48 units a day. Well, when I saw him this past visit my blood sugars were running between 70 and 80 most of the time. He loved that and my A1C backed it up, BUT he said it was actually TO low. I was running the risk of going hypoglycemic (as I did when I broke down on the side of the road for two days with little eating and still taking my meds).
Anyway, without any other changes to meds he wanted me to start decreasing my insulin. By a few units per week. Until my daily blood sugars ranged from 100 to 120. He said it would raise my A1C but that I should have zero worries about it as I'd still be in a healthy state, just without the risk of going hypoglycemic. So I've been doing that for months now and I'm down to 32 units... and am still having blood sugars in the 90s most of the time. I'm going down to 30 units as of tonight and at this rate expect I might end up in the low 20s before I hit my target. I'm VERY excited to have that measuring stick be so low.
I think that's about it for health. Migraines are still bad and I'm using the nurtec less and less as it just doesn't work. I'll talk to the neurologist about it but I missed my appointment and had the next one scheduled for the end of August (yup... it took six months to schedule the follow up when I missed the appointment).
Finances
I talked in my last post that I've been earning a lot of overtime. While I love having money as much as anybody else, I hate having an inconsistent amount of money. My normal take home pay every two weeks is $2000. In the past few months it's been as high as $2800 with an average closer to $2400. That's let me pay off a lot of credit card debt and put almost $3000 extra to mom's car... but now that I'm planning on a vacation (more on that later) my checks go back down. Now I actually NEED to get some cash together and it's not an option. I might have an hour of overtime on my next check which will be the last one before traveling. That's $60 before taxes extra. That's not going to cover the $500 or so for the hotel.
Anyway, I talked about getting the LG C1 48" TV/Monitor and I'm still in love with it. Totally worth it. But it might cost me thousands more in movies. You see, I've been buying a bunch of movies on various digital platforms. As I had a 2K widescreen monitor I didn't think it important to buy 4K versions and almost always got the 1080 HD version. Well... that adds up. I now have a collection of around 384 movies and only a small handful are 4K. There's no way to 'upgrade' them from 1080 to 4K either. Sure, from here on out I'll be getting the 4K versions but if I want to plop down and watch some Avengers movie, I'll want to see it in 4K (and yes, I've noticed the difference in movies that were made for 4K). That will mean buying it again. If I had to guess, this will affect about 80 or so movies. The rest are older and wouldn't really improve in 4K (like Star Trek II which I just watched again recently). It's fine in 1080. But those other 80... fuck that's another $1200!!!
This didn't cost me anything but will change where I spend money. Belle Tire has all but lost me as a customer. Back in December, right before Christmas, I started losing air pressure in a tire. It was imposible to schedule an appointment as the holidays were on the weekend and the only time I have to spare is on Saturdays. Then January hit and the overtime started and I lost most of the Saturdays. They couldn't get me in for a convinient time and I ended up being inconvenienced for about 5 weeks. When they DID fix it, it took all of an hour and could have been done in a morning before work. I know, I know.. there's no way they could know that, but still. Fast forward to this past week and I get another leaky tire. I have to put air in it daily again so on Wednesday I call them up and ask for an appointment on Saturday. I'm not expecting them to get me in on the coming Saturday as they're likely booked, but I still tried. No surprise, they're booked. And booked for the NEXT Saturday. The following Saturday I'm driving. To Canada. FUCK!!!!
On a whim I call Discount Tire. They had my business long ago and for the life of me, I can't remember why I left them. I've used Belle since 2014 (when I got snow tires and wheels for Fiona) and I've purchased at least 4 sets of tires and two sets of wheels through them. Well, Discount can't get me an appointment on Saturday but immediatly followed that by saying they'd take walk ins starting at 8 am Saturday. I showed up Saturday at 8:30 and left there with a fixed tire at 9:30. It cost me NOTHING. And while I was there I looked into the future at snow tires. I don't want another set of wheels as I love the wheels on Tiffany, but that means I'm getting HUGE 21" tires. Belle had quoted me about $600 a tire back in February. Discount just quoted me closer to $400 a tire. Discount will now be my tire shoppe of choice and will be so until they do me wrong like Belle's done.
Family/Friends
My brother R still isn't working... and I'm getting worried about him. He left his job in January. I fully supported him leaving as they were going to either demote him severely or fire him outright. They weren't treating him with respect so yeah... quit. Now losing a job like that is tough. I believe it was his longest lasting job that paid well. And maybe the ONLY job that's paid well enough for him to live on (that's tough to admit when you're 50 years old). So he decided to take some time and get his head on right. Again, I supported this.
That was months ago. He still isn't even looking for work. Money isn't an issue as he's quite the little miser and had saved up over $30,000. He had planned on using it to buy a brand new Ford Bronco or Jeep Grand Cherokee, but now it's his living cushion. And considering his car is paid off and, like me, he lives with mom, he doesn't have many bills. That $30,000 is about what he was making annually (a little less) so he can easily live on that for over a year. If he truly stretches... more like 2 years.
But not working has made him more and more unfocused. For instance, while working he had a hard time getting projects done. When we lost our mailbox (fucking kids), he had a plan of making an impenetrable fortress of a mail box. He was going to place a large pipe into the ground with a huge concrete base to keep it steady. He'd then FILL the pipe with concrete. On top he'd place the mailbox, MADE OUT OF CONCRETE!!! It was ambitious and would certainly be a middle finger to anybody trying the game of mailbox baseball with it (they'd likely shatter the bat if not their bones). I wanted to buy a nice looking stylish mailbox and just risk it getting hit. The one I'd picked out would have cost about $400. But if he was set on the concrete mailbox of death, then there's no reason. We just needed a temporary mailbox. So I got a plastic one for $60. It was... it was fine. It had no style, but it served the purpose of having mail put into it. That was 3 years ago and R has made no move to make the concrete death machine mailbox. I'm fairly sure he's forgotten all about it.
Now, while he was working I understood the issue. He only had the weekends to do projects like that and he was tired from work. Fine. But we'd been planning on redoing the bathroom for months before he left work. New tub (a walk in number so Mom has an easier time), new floor, new walls (or at least wall coverings), new mirrors and medicine cabinet, and new cabinet. Basically we'd keep an antique mirror we've had up since Mom and Dad moved in over 50 years ago and our vanity which was custom made to fit the bathroom.
R has put the tub in with my help. Its fine, but it looks like ass as none of the edges are covered. We need to finish the walls for that. He got that installed in January (it was a Christmas gift from us to Mom). He finally got the floor installed. A couple weeks ago. At this rate he'll have the bathroom done around November. I mean... he doesn't work. He has 40 hours a week back in his life. What the flying fuck is he doing? I get kind of bored after a few days off if I don't have an actual vacation planned (today is day three of this weekend and yes, I'm kind of bored already). He's been off for 4-5 months and still doesn't seem interested in working.
That's R. I finally got to hang out with my other brother B. We haven't really hung out since Christmas as my work schedule just never lined up with his. He only gets the weekend off every 4 or 5 weeks and the last few times I was working. But we got to see the Dr Strange movie together (awesome movie!). Something big has happened in his family as his oldest boy (second oldest child) moved out. He was threatening people and becoming violent. I haven't heard much beyond that, but I DID hear that B got him sent for a psyche example. I could have told him that it was very unlikely that he was having a mental breakdown. That it's far more likely he's just either becoming a more assholery personality or is just going through a tough phase (he's 20?). This is the same nephew that didn't graduate from highschool and has had a job for 3 months once, but never held down any type of job for any real time period. I'll keep my ears up, but B didn't want to talk to much about it that night.
Mom is okay. She finally saw the pulmonologist and it looks like she was just having a bad cold when her pulse-ox went so low. That's good news as it means her COPD didn't get so bad that we couldn't care for her at home, but bad news as it means a cold might send her to the hospital again. Or her grave. They did change her meds a bit, but she's mainly back on her old path... trying to push herself to get better when there is no getting better.
A down in Dallas is fine. He's busy with family and work and we're planning a trip/vacation/holiday for A, E, and myself for the fall. E, in the meantime, agreed to a vacation with me that's coming up. More on that below.
J, my nursing friend, is still having trouble with long COVID. This is almost a year now.
Work
This is the biggest change. Since I wrote last work hasn't changed all that much. We got a bunch of new nurses in but some stayed and some left. A couple weeks ago we got word from the office of the state employer that we could now mandate contractual nurses to overtime. Admittedly my first thought was YAY! I'd be mandating the state nurses far less and spreading out the overtime far more evenly.
Well that blew up in my face. One nurse said he would refuse all overtime. Then he gave two weeks notice. Then he quit without notice. That was all in a 20 hour timeframe. Two other nurses have said they'll put their two weeks notice in, but haven't done so. Yet. I made it clear with both of them that if they wanted out, I'd not only understand I'd help them find another job with a wonderful recommendation letter. I'd also welcome them back if they ever wanted to return (either as a contractual or as a state employee) IF they gave their two weeks notice. I explained that the nurse that just up and quit in a fit of pithe and spit hadn't just ruined his chances with me... that he wouldn't be hired by the state again EVER. Not as a state employee OR as a contractual nurse. He truly burned that bridge whether he intended to or not.
Anyway, they're just about all out of orientation now and that vastly reduces overtime all on its own. We even interviewed another nurse the other day and I recommended hiring her.
And then there's me. I mentioned the interview in my last full post. Well, after checking my references, checking my background, having me get a drug test, a physical, a TB test, and finally a new set of fingerprints... they offered me the job. June 10th will be my last day as a correctional nurse manager. June 13th will be my first day as a nurse manager for the department of health and human services. It will be at a mental health hospital (like the prisons, there are several within driving distance from me so I'm not worried about saying that much). I'm really excited about starting a new chapter in my career, especially as this is my first foray into nursing outside of corrections. It will be a whirlwind month as I'll finish up these next two weeks trying to show the acting supervisor how to do everything I do (Good luck with that schedule M!). I'll then start the new job for three days, then go on vacation. The vacation spreads around a weekend so it will technically be six days off, then another half week at the new job.
I'm sure I'll have a full post eventually about the new job (if I keep posting more regularly). But the biggest thing will be regularity. From what I understand their nurse managers do not work weekends or holidays or overtime... just like my job was supposed to be and WAS before January. At this moment, I don't know if I'll be working over on Thursday, Friday, or Saturday. There are enough nurses signed up to cover the overtime on Sunday but they can always rescind that before I assign it, making working on Sunday a possibility. Then there's the next week with all its overtime. That's tough to ever relax and impossible to make plans. Well... that will change and go back to normal. Whatever the schedule turns out to be (I think it will be something like 1:30 to 10:00 pm) I know when I'll be getting out and I'll know when I'll be working. That will take my work stress down by about 300% and might allow me to return to my normal baseline.
BUT, I know that there will be the 'new job' stress. That's good stress, but it will still keep me from a lot of regular tasks as I'll be naturally (and wholesomely) tired after work.
Entertainment
Far to much to cover as I've tried to lose myself into movies and TV shows. I've been re-watching a lot of Mad Men lately and just remember how much I love that show. I really do like Mid-Century Modern as an aesthetic. I watched Star Trek Discovery's 4th season (loved it!), Star Trek Picard's 2nd season (loved it!), and am currently watching Star Trek Strange New World (ABSOUTELY ADORE IT!). I also watched some of Moon Knight but got bored with it, although I'm finishing it up now. After that I'll start watching Stranger Things 4. I did also watch The Batman but don't have a lot to say about it. It was a good batman movie even though the sparkly vampire kid actor made a horrible Bruce Wayne. Everything else about it was very artsy and fine. Loved the batmobile.
Music wise, I've gotten some real winners:
So, while A, E, and I are going to have one of our bigger vacations this year I sent out a text and asked if they could do a long weekend somewhere sometime. I just need the break from work. A said he couldn't do anything until fall (our bigger vacation). E eventually was intrigued though and asked where I'd like to meet.
- Light and Darkness
- Color
- Contrasting Colors
- Contrast
- Reflections
- Tis the Season
- Motion
- Nostalgia
- Throwback
- That shouldn't be there
- Place
- Details
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