For the longest time, Thanksgiving was a huge event in our family. Back when I was a child our Thanksgiving was a two way street. In one year it would be with my father's family and the next it would be with my mother's family. We always visited both families, but the majority of the holiday was spent with one or the other.
Dad's family Thanksgiving always felt a little stuffier. He was the youngest of five children, so my brothers and I were the youngest by far. But it was still good. Grandpa and Gradma, four aunts and four uncles, a group of cousins (ranging from 3 to 8 depending on the year). The only thing that soured those holidays was Grandpa. Or rather the lack of Grandpa. He was there but he was suffering from major Alzheimer's disease. He was a shell of a man sitting in a chair and later being fed by my grandmother.
Mom's family Thanksgivings were always more 'fun'. Great Grandma, Grandpa and Grandma, an aunt (normally at her house, she was divorced), an uncle (earlier with his wife, but she died fairly young), and since all the children were in the same age group there were all of us there including me, my two brothers, and 4 cousins.
The meals were similar with just a few family traditions on each side differentiating them. Turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, stuffing (it's stuffing if it's cooked in the turkey, dressing when it's cooked outside the bird), green beans, corn of some type (whole kernel, creamed, casserole), yams, baked beans, a salad of some sort, cranberry sauce (both homemade and canned), and the deserts of pumpkin pie, chocolate cream pie, coconut cream pie, coconut cake, carrot cake (so damned dense and heavy that we now lovingly call it Gravity Cake), strawberry cake... and I'm sure I'm forgetting dozens of dishes and deserts that made each year special.
As we grew older, we focused more on my Mom's side of the family. Dad's dad died and one of his sisters took over the holiday... but many of the families went their own way and Grandma just went to one of their celebrations. That left us with Mom's side of the family with the elders slowly dieing away. Great Grandma, Grandma, Grandpa, and finally Dad. My uncle moved to Florida. My brothers and I got jobs where we'd occasionally be away for Thanksgiving and my cousins moved away.
For the last few years it's been my aunt, my mom, and maybe three of us 'kids'. Us 'kids' are in our 40s now and occasionally bring our own children. The sad thing, to me, is that Mom and my aunt still cook similar amounts of food. I remember a time when there were meal plans for the day after thanksgiving because there were no leftovers. Now our leftovers stretch until we're worried it's going bad. The Thanksgivings were held at my aunts house for the past decade or so because she had a bigger house and, in the last couple years, she was in poorer health than my mom.
I'd even spent a year at my friends' place for Thanksgiving after they got a big house and invited everybody they knew (both their families plus friends galore!). That was fun but it felt foreign enough that it wasn't really a true Thanksgiving. A couple times in the last few years I've traveled to visit with friends after Thanksgiving as it's easy to take a couple days off and make the long weekend into a week's vacation.
Well this year was different. No traveling for me as A and E just had our San Fran adventure. My aunt is really sick and didn't want to do anything for Thanksgiving at all. No hosting, no coming over. For a couple months we figured it would just be Mom, R, and myself. More of a family turkey meal than a Thanksgiving. But then B had his marital problems and moved in. So now it would be what remains of my immediate family; Mom and my two brothers. Then B said he'd bring over two of his kids... the eldest had to work and couldn't come.
So, Thanksgiving at our house (Mom's house). My brothers, my niece and my nephew. We all worked to convince mom to pare down the mean significantly because she isn't in good health. Turkey, gravy, stuffing and dressing, mashed potatoes, green beans, corn casserole, 24 hour salad, and some heat and serve rolls.
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Now, a quick pause to talk about turkey. I think turkey is fine, but nothing more than that. I'd almost rather have chicken, since chicken carries flavor so well and therefore has so many more varieties. Turkey tastes like turkey, so you don't have as many options. For Thanksgiving we've always had (Dad's family, Mom's family, Mom and my aunt, Mom alone, even friends) a full bird. 99% of the time it's roasted. Mom and my aunt's way of doing it (and if memory serves, my Dad's mom's way of doing it) is to slow roast it. Not the 4 to 6 hours it should take, but 10 to 12 hours. This method gives the VERY best gravy. I mean seriously, if the cook knows how to take the juices and fond and add some thickening agent and spices, it just creates a GLORIOUS gravy. Spread that over the mashed potatoes, stuffing/dressing, and of course over the turkey itself.
I say of course to adding it to the turkey itself as... well... all that flavor and juice came from the bird. The resulting meat is dry and difficult to eat. It's also rather flavorless. When I went to my friends place he did what I think of as the more classic route. He brined the bird (they've since moved on to salt rubs or so called dry brines), then roasted it almost all the way before lastly cooking it to get a nice crispy skin. The meat was moist (even the white meat!) succulent, and tasty. The gravy? Well, there were almost no drippings and no fond whatsoever, so the gravy was from heinz and as expected, awful.
I'm not sure which method is better. I'd like the great tasting turkey, but those potatoes need something other than canned nastiness. And the stuffing/dressing should realistically have a coating of gravy too. Notice in my menus above, I included gravy second as I believe it's important. The only method I've heard of to get good moist flavorful turkey, good crispy skin, and the heaven's mana of gravy is to literally cook two birds. One for the gravy and leftovers, one for the actual eating.
At this point in my life... I'm not opposed to this idea.
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The deserts this year were the strawberry cake, a pumpkin pie and a coconut cream pie.
The meal came together easily enough, Mom always had help in the kitchen, the table was set without complaint, and all the food landed on the table in perfect order and without wait. We all enjoyed the meal with even the kids finding enough food to really enjoy (they don't like stuffing or beans, but loved on the gravy and potatoes and corn casserole.
After the meal I got the kids to help clear the table while my brother R made up a plate and took it over to my aunt's house (this was at my mothers request, and not his choice). I, along with my brother B, loaded the dishwasher then did the rest of the dishes by hand. We all ended up in the living room where there was room for all of us and watched some TV. The niece, normally not a social person, took out her phone and suggested we play a game on it. It's a new one that I haven't seen before but you point the phones screen to your audience and it gives them a word, phrase, or person. They have to try and get the person holding the phone (who of course can't see the phone) to say it. You flick the phone down to mark that you've gotten it right and flick it up to mark that you've skipped that one.
It was surprisingly fun. No one was keeping score as we were all really bad at the game (not only getting the person to say the word, but even bad at marking down if we got the word right!). After playing that for an hour or so I convinced them to try a game of Trivial Pursuit. Now, I just like Trivial Pursuit. I find it fun. My brother and his kids evidently think I like to show off my 'smarts' by beating them. I don't get that... but I'll admit I'm good at the game.
Anywho, we played a round of Trivial pursuit that I won handily (seriously, second place only had three pie pieces!) then played another round in a team based system. My niece and I against my nephew and my brother. To keep the kids' interest they were more or less playing with my brother and I acting as backup. If they didn't know the answer then my brother or I could chime in, but we couldn't continue to move on OUR correct answers. The only real benefit of our 'second chance' was that we could still earn a pie piece. And in all fairness, I think the neice and nephew got about half of the pie pieces on their own.
It was fun until the last 30 minutes or so. Then we got on such a bad run of questions that nobody could seem to get. We were bouncing from one pie piece to the other without getting a single answer correct for that entire time. B and my nephew finally won, but it felt like we all won as we were just ready to move on to something else.
After that and some post game fun poking, my brother took his kids back to their mom. While he was gone I had a leftover turkey sandwich and OH MY GOD that is always so good. Far smaller and less formal, but equally as good as the entire Thanksgiving meal. I don't get all fancy with my sandwich, it's just bread, miracle whip, turkey, a bit of salt, mustard, miracle whip, and bread. Simple but delectable.
20 minutes later, I called it a night and went to bed.
It doesn't sound like much even as I write it... but seriously it was just a great holiday. I couldn't think of anything else I'd like to happen or even change about it.
I am so Thankful!
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