I'd love to say that I considered everything, decided to go for it and didn't get the job.
I'd love to say that in anyway this was my decision. Sadly conditions aligned and made the choice for me.
I was so on the fence about changing to the local correctional facility that I honestly couldn't make up my mind. It was six one way and half a dozen the other way. Advantages and disadvantages were plentiful on both sides but kept canceling each other out. Just when I thought I had gotten to the end of my decision making process and picked up a quarter to flip, I thought of one last thing. Change for changes sake.
I've changed a lot over the past few years. Photographer to Nurse. Productive member of society from bum. Correctional nurse from hopeful hospital nurse. Change for the past few years has been my bread and butter. The problem? I don't like change. Oh sure, I like improving things... I like taking something that doesn't work and changing it to working order or taking something that works OK and changing it to working great... but if something is already going well then I don't like change.
Even though I have only been at this job for a little over a year, this would still qualify as a change. I've built my life around this job. I generally go to sleep at Midnight thirty and get up between 6 AM and 8 AM. Not because that's where my natural sleeping habits lie, but because that's what works around my job. I picked Fiona as a car knowing full well that I'll probably driver her into the ground (hopefully AFTER I've paid her off). I could have gotten something like a Volkswagen GTI for the same money, but it would have been a couple years older and/or have far higher milage. That doesn't make sense if I'm putting over 24,000 miles a year on a car for five years. I selected my smart watch (All Hail Pebble!) partly on the fact that I can take it into a correctional facility. My eating habits are now this; lunch at 11:00 AM, 'Supper' at 4:30 PM, 'Dinner' at 11:00 PM. Not because I want to eat at those times, but because they work around work.
Now if I'm going to make a change in the job that defines me and shapes the way I live, I should make that change sooner rather than later. I find it difficult to contemplate leaving this job and I've only been here for a year. How hard will it be to change when I've been working there for 3 years? 5? 10? At that point changing my job (changing my life) will be very difficult. I'll have settled my life and grown roots for myself.
After that thought exercise made up my mind, I checked my work email and found another email from what I hoped would become my new supervisor. She asked me if I was on the union transfer list. You see it's not just a matter of hiring me on as a new employee. The union dictates that if one of its members wants to transfer to another area, they get first dibs on any new positions. If I wasn't going through that transfer process, then I was immediately at a disadvantage. Anybody going through the transfer process would get interviewed before me, and only if they failed their interviews would the process get down to my level.
Instead of simply answering her email with my current position (No, I am not on the transfer list as I haven't been a state employee long enough to qualify for a transfer), I added the fact that I was now more than merely interested in this job and that I in fact wanted it. I asked her advice on how best to get there (get on a transfer list somehow, or simply 'apply' for the job outright).
And since I just made up my mind and informed her, I thought it only right to inform my current (hopefully former) supervisor of the same thing. I sent her off a quick email letting her know the gist of where I stood.
Now maybe this isn't the way most people operate, but to me there is a HUGE difference in telling my boss that I'm looking at the possibilities of other jobs and telling my boss that I'm working at taking another job. The former is something that should be going on for every person all the time. If you are not open to new possibilities, then you aren't interested in improving your life. For example, if I could make twice the money doing the same work for half the time I'd snatch that job up in a heartbeat. But if I never looked at the possibility of other jobs, then I'd never know about that opportunity.
The latter though... that says "I have found a job that I believe will be better than this one and I am going to leave". I'm no longer passively looking at opportunities, I'm actively attempting to leave.
So naturally after fate lifts my chin up enough for me to make such a declaration to my supervisor, it slaps me right back down. Not five minutes later the 'new' supervisor emails me back telling me that the job is no longer listed on the website and that I'd have to call HR to see if I could still squeak an application in.
I called. I was informed that the listing has been removed because they've handed off five qualified applicants to the supervisor. Unless they all fail at their interviews, I am not getting that job. And even if they all DO fail (which is highly unlikely), they will open up a new listing and only then can I apply.
So... there's no job to be had.
I email my supervisor back and tell her the news. I am not applying for the job and am her employee.
The silver lining to this whole experience is that my supervisor has not hidden her joy at 'keeping' me as her employee. There's also the fact that I've now taking a good hard look at my current job and realized that I truly do enjoy it. If I HAD taken the other job it would have been trading a known 'good thing' for a better shift. And for now at least, the only thing that will possibly pry me away from my current 'good thing' is that very same job.
Nothing much else has been going on. I have been considering the possibility of trading Fiona in on a different/newer car. To do so I've had to take emotion out as I do honestly love Fiona. Intellectually though, she has 41,000 miles on her, has lost her bumper to bumper warranty, will lose the remainder of her power train warranty mid next year and has a value sinking faster than a lead weight. Today I have to take her in to get a tire fixed and afterward I'll stop by the local Chevy dealership and take a good long look at a Chevy Cruze. I may write up more on that experience later.
My brother is really enjoying his new job and has been doing something that he hasn't been able to do for years and years. Planning for the future.
Ta Ta for now.
No comments:
Post a Comment