But I'm going to complain about them none the less!
Before I get into the meat of this rant/post, I do want to point out that my life is wonderful. Every complaint I have I would still take over real world problems like hunger, hatred, war, disease, and other assorted issues. I work, I have enough money to live my life, I am loved, and I love. In the grand scheme of things I am doing well and should always sing the praises of my life.
But then again, I'm a natural complainer, and complainers will always complain. So this post is dedicated to my increasingly expensive addiction to netflix streaming service and the horror show that is Spirit Airlines. Let's go ahead and start with Spirit as I was only recently falling over myself to compliment them. Bastards.
So I finally made it back down to Dallas to visit with my friends. As I did earlier in July, I booked my flight with Spirit. A direct round trip flight (purchased at the last minute) from Detroit to Dallas and back cost my about $560. I had seriously considered driving down, but at 16 hours it would have just eaten away too much time traveling instead of hanging out. As I was familiar with the path from road to plane this time, I decided to drive Fiona and leave her in the parking garage. It would cost me an extra $40 or so, but it would ensure that my late flight in on Monday night wouldn't screw over the poor sap that agreed to pick me up.
So I parked (and got a GREAT parking spot to boot!), walked in through security, waited for the requisite hour and a half, and got on the plane. My first hint that this was going to be an annoying flight should have been when 'they' boarded the plane. 'They' were a bit late and dashed any hope that I was going to have an empty seat next to me as company. 'They' were evidently a brother/sister duo. I picked up that as they constantly called back and forth 'Brother? BROTHER!?' and 'SISTER!!'. You see they must have assumed that picking seats 1A and 2C would mean they were sitting together.
Yeah.... not bright.
Instead of asking either I or the gentleman sitting next to 'brother', they just talked through the entire flight. Talked is the polite way of saying that they shouted from one side of the plane to the other, and from one aisle to the next. They were evidently living life to its fullest as they were constantly talking about how awesome it was to be flying. Now I'm still a flying Noob with my four total times on a plane... but I got over the whole "WOW I'M LIKE UP IN THE AIR" thing about 10 minutes after my first take off. At that point I focused on breathing the same recycled air as a couple hundred other people for two and a half hours. But this dynamic duo just couldn't get over the fact that they were flying.
While we were descending into Dallas Fort Worth International Airport (how pretentious is it to add 'international' to your airport?) 'Sister' shouted out to 'Brother' "Oh My God BROTHER! I'm Looking Out Both Sides and Texas Is SO Much BIGGER Than Michigan"
Um... What?
Lets get over the fact that Texas IS bigger than Michigan and take a moment to wonder what exactly she was seeing while floating several hundred feet above an airport. Did she mean that the lights around Dallas at night made it look bigger than taking off from Detroit in the daylight? Did she mean that the Dallas Airport is bigger than the Detroit Airport? Did she mean that she's so drunk that she mistakenly saw the state border lines from several hundred miles away and did a quick mental calculation of the square miles of Michigan vs Texas (58,100 vs 268,820)? I honestly have no idea and simply did a face palm in response.
Sadly the 'Brother/Sister' combo were not the thing I wanted to complain about. Were they annoying? Yes. Did they ruin what would otherwise be a nice flight? No. That flight was on Spirit Air, and Spirit Air collects some of the loudest, rudest, annoying travelers from all around. If it wasn't them, I'm sure I would have been annoyed with some other passengers. You get what you pay for and you don't pay much for a seat on Spirit.
The weekend was great. Getting the three of us together is a wonderful time. We saw a movie (Guardians of the Galaxy... Awesome!), went to the shooting range (Awesome), ate at some amazing restaurants (Awesome), watched some TV (Awesome), drank in some dive bars (Awesome), and even ate in some horrid restaurants that we're failure sure gave us food poisoning (still Awesome).
Monday came far to quickly and I was getting ready to head back to (evidently small) Michigan. My flight wasn't until 7:30 PM, but at 10 AM I started getting notices that the flight was already delayed. For the rest of the day I was constantly wondering when exactly I would leave as they were changing the delays constantly. 20 minutes late? 2 hours late? 10 minutes early? 1 hour and 42 minutes late? Each and every flight status check would remind me that no matter how much the flight was delayed, I was still expected to be sitting at the gate one hour before the original take off time. When they finally delayed the flight by five hours (yes, they were saying the flight would take off thirty minutes past midnight) I finally called up their customer support and asked if I really had to sit at the gate for six hours.
Yes.
If I didn't arrive early and they somehow got a plane earlier than expected, it would take off without me and I would be shit out of luck. So I got the airport and put my weary butt into a seat at 6:30 PM. At 7:30 PM they changed the expected take off time. To 2:30 AM.
Fuck.
So I sat. And sat. And read. And charged my phone. And sat. And sat. And watched CNN's Anderson Cooper from a televison far enough away that I couldn't hear it. And sat. And waited. And cried a little on the inside. And sat.
At 10:30 PM (ish) they called out an announcement that the flight has been canceled. They directed us to the Spirit Air ticket counter where their associates would help us get onto another flight, accept a flight voucher, or refund us the ticket price.
Fuck.
I got to the ticket desk (it takes forever.... that airport really IS big), and waited for my turn with one of their associates. I'm sure they could have found a way to take longer, but I'm not really sure how. They only had two associates helping out the hundred or so people, their computers were evidently moving slowly, and they had absolutely NO good answers for any question they were asked. And just to make sure the bad answers were correct, they were constantly moving back to their supervisor to confirm.
When it was finally my turn (about 45 minutes after I got into line... and I was only the sixth person to get helped!), the associate stated at me blankly and asked how she could help me. I did another face palm and politely told her that my flight to Detroit had just been canceled and needed the next available flight. She lazily (maybe not true laziness, but certainly slowly) pecked at her computer for a few moments and told me that she could get me on a flight to Las Vegas later in the night, have a 7 hour or so lay over there, and then get a flight to Detroit which should land around 5 PM Tuesday.
My flight was supposed to land at 11:30 PM MONDAY.
I of course balked and asked for the next direct flight. She informed me, in a manner that let me know she could give a damn how it sounded, that the next direct flight wasn't until Friday. FRIDAY!!??
I took several moments so that I could count to 10, and said that the flight to Las Vegas and on to Detroit would be fine. Seeing as I already paid for the 'Big Front Seat' I asked if I would be placed in a similar seat. She took forever (about 2 minutes) at the computer and said...
No.
Several more moments and another count to 10, and I asked if I could at least get an exit row seat or some other seat that would give me some leg room. Another eon or so at the computer got me the answer...
No.
I didn't bother with the counting and asked angrily if I would have my ticket price reduced for both the inconvenience and the fact that I paid for a seat that is no longer available. More slow clicking at the computer was followed up by quick trip the supervisor and resulted in....
No.
I started to ask if I could at least select a seat to get an aisle seat allowing at least one leg to not cramp up, but thought better of it. I sank my head into my hands and told her to get me a seat on the plane. Bored clicking on the keyboard was followed by a sigh of anger or disgust and then she went over to the supervisor. This isn't good. Whens he got back she informed that she was sorry (the first appology yet to be offered), but the flight to Las Vegas was still open, but the connecting flight to Detroit was now booked solid. I could fly to Las Vegas and then get a flight to Detroit on Wednesday.
I explained through clenched teeth that this was wildly unacceptable, and that I would need her help to get me on a different airline. Another trip to the supervisor and she informed me that they didn't work with any other airlines. I could take the flight voucher or get my ticket refunded if I didn't want the flight to Las Vegas or the flight on Friday.
I took the refund. For $190. Before you try to do the math, yes that is less than half of my round trip ticket price. She explained that all of my discounts were pulled over to the return flight and therefore I was getting a 'full' refund.
Fuck it. I signed the paper, was informed that it would be credited back to my card in 7 to 10 business days, and took off. As I was leaving I heard from the other associate that they weren't even offering hotel vouchers. So they canceled the flight, stranded people at the airport for days and wouldn't even get people a room at 11:30 PM.
Fuck Spirit. This goes WAY beyond 'Getting what you pay for'. I expect bad passengers. I expect flight staff that act as though they'd rather be anywhere else in the world. I expect some delays. I don't expect to get absolutely shit upon when they fuck up and lose a plane.
I called up my buddy and had him come pick me up. We spent the next hour or so working on another way back. Amtrak would cost more and take 30 hours. A rental car would cost over $800 (seriously... a one way car rental for a cheap econo class car was $867 dollars!). It seemed that I would be experiencing another airline after all. We scoured every flight out of Dallas (both DFW airport and Love airport), and found an economy class ticket from Delta Airlines that would take me to Detroit. It would take off at 7:30 AM the next day and land sometime just before Noon in Detroit. It cost $556. Unfortunately it seemed like the best option available even though that would get me in Detroit too late to make it to work on Tuesday.
While I called home to get my supervisor's cell phone number, my buddy kept searching and found one of those serendipitous flight accidents. It seems that there was a flight from Dallas to Kalamazoo via Delta that would only cost $350. It not only was cheaper by a couple hundred dollars, it was also First Class (YAY!). I started calculating who could drive to Kalamazoo and pick me up so that I could drive to Detroit and get Fiona when we noticed that the flight actually had one stop and an hour long layover.
In Detroit.
We double checked the flight info and found that the Delta flight from Dallas to Detroit was actually the same plane for both the $556 economy class ticket and the $350 first class ticket. I booked the ticket as fast as I could thanking the heavens that I only had carry on baggage. If I had checked my bag, it would have been taken from one plane in detroit to the next, making me follow it to Kalamazoo. As I could keep my luggage with me, I could simply get off the plane in Detroit and 'give up' my already paid for ticket to KZoo.
First Class is just as glorious as you'd think it would be. Drinks that I didn't have to pay for, served in glass instead of plastic, a full breakfast of French Toast fruit oatmeal and yogurt, flight staff that seemed interested in ensuring a good flight, and passengers that valued private quiet time.
Bliss.
So while I did get to experience First Class flight, I still missed work on Tuesday, got only a couple hours of sleep, paid an extra $150 and in general got shit up on by Spirit Air. I love a good deal as much as anybody else, but Spirit doesn't even offer 'You get what you pay for' service. They are forever on my banned list and I'll work the rest of my life to convince people to never fly with them. The sad thing is that will be about as possible as pushing back against the tide... people will continue to fly with them and accept shit service because they are a couple hundred dollars cheaper than everybody else.
I mentioned above that I was also going to whine about getting Netflix, but I went on a little long about this flight experience. So I'll just save that for another post on another day.
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