The news really took me by surprise as I had just seen her 9 hours previous and so far as I'd known there wasn't anything going on.
Well... nothing NEW going on. Her hernia is getting worse and will probably need to be addressed sooner rather than later, but that wouldn't send her to the ER in a matter of hours. There is always her pace maker to consider... it DID fire off earlier this year. But her new anti-arrhythmia medicine should help avoid that. There shouldn't be much that could quickly happen in 9 hours that involves her ongoing issues. So my first thought was that she fell and broke something. Not a good situation at her age or general health, but not as bad as a lot of things could be.
So I called and found out that Mom believe she has a bowel obstruction. She'd actually suspected it before I left for work but didn't want to 'worry' me and hoped that it would just go away. I should add that she's had previous experience with bowel obstructions, so when she suspects it I need to sit up and take her seriously.
She's had three previous bowel obstructions. And yes, it does have to do with her hernia. All three have required surgery to repair and started out the same way... severe nausea and severe abdominal pain. I'm a little upset that she didn't mention it before I went to work if that's what she suspected, but at the same time I can understand it. She was playing the 'maybe this is wrong and it's nothing after all' game. According to my brother she only suspected this about 20 minutes before I walked out the door.
Anyway... as I was driving toward home from work Mom and my brother were still in the ER. The impression I got was that it had been confirmed as a bowel obstruction and that they were getting her a room and planning a surgery. So instead of heading right to the hospital I went home to change clothes. I told my brother to text me as soon as they had a room and then I'd head up there.
Two hours later and they were still in the ER. I'm literally a 10 minute drive from the hospital so I went in to see what was going on. Thankfully the ER staff is very understanding and got me back to her exam room. That's when I got the rest of the story... they hadn't confirmed anything yet. At least 'nothing' according to Mom and my brother. They HAD done an EKG which Mom and my brother thoutght was stupid as she was obviously not having a heart attack. I tried to say that they would have to first eliminate a cardiac issue as that was far more immediate of a consern. Just because Mom's cardiac issues had never presented like this before and just because her bowel obstructions had presented like this before didn't mean that this wasn't cardiac. Mom and my brother didn't want to hear it, so I tired to go back into 'son' mode instead of 'nurse' mode. They had also just done an X-Ray and hadn't heard back from the doc yet. This was all taking place on a Friday night during 'Race Weekend' (there is a NASCAR race this weekend at the nearby track), so the ER is as expected... busy as all get out.
Medically abdominal pain isn't anything to sneeze at... but at the same time it isn't as immediate of a concern as say chest pain, or even a broken bone. Hell... even a massive headache could take precedence if there is any suspicion that it's more than just a migraine. By the time I rolled in they had 'only' been there for 4 hours. Yes... the part of me that is my mother's son was upset that she wasn't treated immediately. But the part of me that's a nurse was completely understanding. The only thing that upset both parts of me was that Mom had yet to receive anything for the pain. All it took to get that fixed was telling the nurse... he was surprised that it hadn't yet been taken care of too.
Once the morphine was on board, I got the rest of the story. They had done the X-Ray and then ordered a CT scan with contrast. That means that Mom will have to drink the dye, wait for about an hour, get the scan, and then wait for the results. Both my mother and my brother were upset that they hadn't heard about the results of the X-Ray yet so I took a moment to slip into nurse mode and explained that if they ordered a CT scan, that means that the X-Ray was inconclusive. It wasn't necessarily BAD, but it wasn't necessarily GOOD either. And having the doctor slip in on a busy night to say "Hey the X-Ray didn't tell us anything so we're going to move on to a CT scan" was just a tad on the unreasonable side. Yes... the nurse probably could have taken the 10 minutes to explain that, but again... busy night in the ER.
Neither Mom nor my brother wanted to hear it. At that particular moment it didn't matter that I was a nurse... I wasn't HER nurse at the moment and therefore I was only guessing. ooooooooooooook. Mom didn't want me to be a nurse at that moment so I tried to turn off that side of my brain and slip into 'son and only son' mode. I talked to her to keep her mind off of the pain and the wait and I'm sure the fear that surgery was imminent.
She eventually got the scan and eventually got the results.... nothing. There was no indication of anything that could cause the nausea and pain. The doc even did another physical exam (pressing into her abdomen) and admitted that he couldn't find anything. He asked if her pain was under control and once Mom said it was, he offered her a very logical choice. He could discharge her with instructions to return if the pain came back, or he could admit her for observation.
Mom, with her hatred of being in the hospital, opted to be discharged. Once the doc left both Mom and my brother descended on me. They practically demanded to know what had caused the pain if it wasn't a bowel obstruction.
Whoa there Nelly. So you want me to be a nurse now? First off, if you wanted to know that why the hell wouldn't you ask the doctor? Second, you've both more or less mocked (not intentionally, but still) my nursing knowledge this evening. But hey... I'm a good son and I hid away my own personal feelings and explained that it could have been one of a dozen or so things. All of them transient. Her bowel could have been blocked, but it would have 'unblocked' itself between the onset of pain and now (a period of almost 18 hours. It could have been an internal hernia which would only be diagnosed when it was active (or through exploratory surgery). It could have been her liver, or kidneys, or small intestines, or colon, or her hernia.... all of which could come on and cause pain and resolve itself just as quickly.
They didn't like my answers. Again, I got back to the 'Why The Fuck Didn't You Ask The Doctor?' position. On the inside. On the outside I just shrugged and said that the doctor obviously feels safe in sending you home and if the pain comes back we're only a few minutes away from the hospital.
Eventually the nurse came back in, removed Mom's IV, and started giving her discharge instructions. The instructions were easy; Any severe pain, sharp increase in pain, severe vomiting, or fever... return to the ER. See your doc for a follow up on Monday. That's it. But Mom was upset and wanted to take it out on the nurse... and use me as her weapon of choice. She said something like "Oh that's OK, my son here is a registered nurse and I'm sure he'll take care of me better than I've been taken care of here"
I swear I must have turned about a dozen shades of red. Or at least I felt like I did. So let me get this straight.. you don't want my nursing knowledge, then you do, then you disagree with my nursing knowledge, then you attack my nursing knowledge, then you use my nursing as a weapon against a nurse who has frankly done a wonderful job?
The nurse, to her credit, took it in stride. She smiled and said something like "Oh that's great, so you'll be in good hands!". I silently worded 'Thank You... Sorry" to her and we got to leave.
This is something that I was afraid of. That my family will expect me to be a super nurse and agree with all their health suspicions, but will practically mock me when I disagree or don't' have near omniscience when it comes to their health. My brother has even said "Oh you're just being a nurse" when I answered him honestly about some health question. Yes. Yes, I'm just being a nurse. That's why you asked me!
My friends treat me as a friend. Occasionally they will ask me health questions but the approach it as they would in asking a nurse. They accept my answer and then we move quickly back into the 'friend' zone. Why can't my family be this way? They did the same thing when I was a photographer. Anytime they would want a snapshot they'd had me the camera and expect professional results. It didn't matter that they would hand me a $10 point and shoot camera, and it didn't matter that they didn't want me to actually pose them... they just wanted a professional portrait.
You can either respect me as a professional or respect me as a family member. But you can't have both at the very same time. When my answers or results as a professional don't jibe with what you'd expect out of a family member, you can't possibly be surprised or worse yet angry.
Anywho. Mom's pain has been decreasing ever since leaving the hospital. She seems to be in the clear and I'm firmly back into 'son' mode and awaiting her visit with the doctor.
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