A Caitlyn Story

So while driving home I got into Caitlyn's headspace a bit.

Now before I get into this, some of this post will be a bit.... TMI.  I'm going to talk about masturbation a bit.  It won't be graphic, but if that's not something you want to read about then by all means, skip this post.

OK... so driving for 16 hours between Texas and Michigan gave me plenty of time to let my thoughts wander.  I thought about family, my future, work, future jobs, relationship.... a whole mess of things.  I didn't really make any headway or come upon any new conclusions so I won't go into those.  But I did come up with a story idea.

I think the reason that I got into this story was simply due to me being horny.  Yeah.. I had just visited with a family for four days which means I didn't masturbate at all.  I just find the idea of wanking it in someone else's shower kinda off putting.  Add in the day's driving down and I was now about six days without an orgasm.  For comparison's sake, I normally masturbate once a day.  That has held steady before I found Caitlyn, all throughout Caitlyn's time, and after I lost Caitlyn.  Hell... it's been that way since high school.

So needless to say, the urge struck me when I had plenty of time on my hands and nothing to do but watch the road.  When I get this way, I'll often just think of 'sexy scenes'.  Sometimes they'll be part of a narrative.  Sometimes I'll have a part in this scene (mostly now a days as the man, but sometimes still as the woman), and other times I'll just enjoy imagining a man and a woman having sex or being part of a scene.

Road Funding II

So I wrote about our stupid ass legislature and how they were shirking their responsibility about a month ago.

A quick recap;  our road are crap.  Our roads need repair.  The legislature's only way to do so was by a complex shell game that included raising the state's sales tax by 1% and sending it out for a statewide vote.

Well the vote was the day before I went on vacation... and it failed by a 4 to 1 ratio.

I heard all kinds of arguments as to why someone wasn't going to vote for it.   But the worst one has to be this:

"I'm not going to vote for it because this is the wrong way to fix the roads.  If we vote this down the legislature will have to try again and do it right this time.  Voting no will teach them a lesson."

I'm fairly good at arguing a point.  I can often change people's minds to my way of thinking... but I couldn't change a single mind.  And this wasn't just a purely partisan problem.  Both the democrats and republicans were all for it.  They brought out unions and business leagues, former democrat and republican governors, the current republican governor and the recent democrat senator (who served for like 25 years).

VayCay Recap

I got back from my vacation yesterday.  If I had to sum it up in one word I would have to go with; Good.

Not great.  Not awesome.  Not amazing.  Just plain old Good.

Really the vacation was two vacations in one.  The first (and last) was driving.  I drove down to visit my friends in Texas.  As the door to door driving is just a touch over sixteen hours, I broke it up into two days.  Driving there and back is one part of the vacation.  The other part was the actual visit with my friends.

Lemme talk about the driving fist.  I already mentioned that I was going to get the car detailed... and OH MY GOD does Ginger look good when she's cleaned professionally.  I get her washed at the local car wash once every week or so.  More or less on my day off from work I'll consider the weather for the next few days... if it's going to rain a lot I'll hold off.  If it's going to be sunny, then I'd just prefer to get the car cleaned.  But that's the exterior and that's just a big machine doing it's job.  Sure it has wax, but it's not hand applied in layers.  And there's no clean like a clay bar clean.   I don't do it personally because... well... I don't want to.  I want the clean car but not all that effort, especially as it would be a weekly thing.

Driving Vacation

So tomorrow I leave on vacation.  Last year I got to experience my first paid vacation in almost 10 years.  Not only did I get a vacation, I got several.  A trip to the Windy City, two flights to Tex-Ass, and a staycation over Thanksgiving weekend.  I had another vacation earlier this year back to Chicago.

So getting time off isn't anything new.  It's something that went from Amazing, to wonderful, to great, to just another part of the job.

So at face value, this shouldn't be anything worthy of writing about.  I should mention it (I have a couple times) in a post but it's nothing that should occupy my mind in a way that makes me write it out.

But this vacation is different for several reasons.  First... it's by FAR the longest stretch I've taken off.  I try to plan my vacations around my weekends off.  I mean that just makes sense' start with the only two days off I have in a row and by taking two days off I've grown it organically into a four day vacation.  I believe my two trips to Tex-Ass and my Thanksgiving extended weekend were both a total of five days off.  The other trips were all three or four days off.

This time I'm taking six days off.  When my weekend and other regular days off are added in I'm getting a total of 10 days away from work!!!

Googlfi my phone service!

This post is more or less just a way to get my mind around this concept.  I heard about 'Project Fi' on a podcast while driving home last night.  Project Fi (or Google Fi as many car calling it) is a cellular service from Google.

First thought;  YAY!

I love Google.  I love their products, I love their philosophy.  I love that most of their projects aren't designed to own the market and are instead set up to push the market in directions they think the industry (industries) should go.

For example, they don't want to push out cable internet providers by making Google Fiber... instead they just want to demonstrate that somebody can provide fairly inexpensive fiber based internet with amazingly fast speeds.  If Google Fiber was available near me, I'd sign up for it in a hearbeat.

So in a nutshell, what's Project Fi?  It's a cell service that primarily uses WiFi for everything.  The phone will actively search out a strong WiFi signal that it can use and if it's providing a stronger connection and/or faster speed than the cellular signal available will switch over to it.  It will use the WiFi signal for data of course, but it will also use it for voice and texts.  The data over a WiFi network would be encrypted (using a VPN) system so it would be just as 'secure' as a cellular connection.

But better than that is what it does if there isn't a WiFi signal.   It will then search out for the strongest/fastest cellular signal between both Sprint and T-Mobile's systems!

GTA V and a Game Controller

Back in October of 2013 I bemoaned the fact that I didn't play as many video games.  That fact is still true.  I rarely get the time to sit back and play TF2.

In November of 2014 I more or less built a computer so I could play a new game.  Now don't get me wrong, I LOVED building that computer for so many reasons... but the original spark for doing so at that particular time was a video game.  Assassin's Creed Unity.

Well... I still haven't finished playing that game.  It's fun, but not nearly as fun as the previous Assassin's Creed games.  If you know anything about the AC games, you remember that the game is basically told in two parts.  The present with a group of young assassin's using a machine to live out a past life, and the past life they're living out.  Well, a couple games ago in the series they killed off the main protagonist in the 'present'.  That kind of killed half of the game.  Yes there is still a person in the present living through the past, but the story is told mostly in shadows.  You have to think and read between the lines to continue the 'present' story line.  This game is the same... it's primarily about being an Assassin around the time of the French revolution.

Yawn.

Backache

I've had a back problem going on for about 5 years now.  Back when I was working retail it just hit one day.  I was bending over to pick some products up off of a pallet and BAM... it was like an electric bolt in my lower back.

The pain quickly faded, but when I went to move said product to a shelf, it came screaming back.  Again, it only lasted a moment but I couldn't seem to move at all without it striking.

As it struck over and over and over, a dull ache worked its way in and replaced the relative pain free experience between lightning strikes of pain.

Now before I go on I want to explain what lead to this problem.  I was bending over at the back and lifting up a hefty object.  It wasn't anything I'd have to strain at, but it was several pounds.  I know from both education and common sense (as well as store training) to lift with my legs.  The problem is, since I was a very young boy, I've had a problem with my knees.  You see, my knees face 'outward' quite a bit.  My knees face so far out that my feet follow suit and point somewhere off to my left and right.  This means that bending my knees isn't exactly easy and is often quite painful.  If I stress my knees to much, they'll ache constantly for hours and hours.  Sometimes they'll ache for days.  So I've learned to NOT lift with my legs and rely on my sturdy back.

Road Funding

So it seems my state government isn't even good at their job.  They need something done, can't figure out how to do it while keeping up their 'No New Taxes' rant, so they're turning to the people of Michigan.

I talked a bit about this in December.  Our roads are bad, and we need more money to fix them.  At the time, the two houses of the legislature had different ideas.  One was to raise more taxes by raising the gas tax.  One was to NOT raise more money and take some from the education fund.

They couldn't agree on how to do it.  Understand, we're 90 yards down the field.  We know the problem (road are bad and have been underfunded for years), we know how to fix them (fund them properly).  We just can't agree on HOW to fund them properly.

We in Michigan know about road problems.  We have some of the worst circumstances.  There are a lot of cars in Michigan (both a big population and a lot of car ownership for that population).  We use our roads a lot, both for personal travel and for hauling goods.  Personal travel as we often live far away from where we work, and hauling as we manufacture a lot of goods and haul a lot of goods out of Canada and out of the state.  We're in the cold enough region that our extended freeze/thaw seasons get water into the cracks in the road and open those cracks up to the point that the roads fail.   All of that adds up to this...we have a lot of roads that are more expensive to build and more expensive to maintain.

Dreams and...

I had a nightmare last night.  I don't remember anything more than the fact that I had a nightmare though, and that actually makes worse.  Normally in the bright light of day I can suss out what my brain was thinking/doing.  But now here's all I remember:

I laid down for bed.  The last time I remember seeing on the clock was 1:30 am.  I woke up at 2:45 am scared.   It was dark, I was feeling distinctly alone, I didn't know where I was or why I was there.... and I was scared.

I did eventually figure out the who/what/why/wheres, and did fall back to sleep rather quickly.  But that scared feeling remained when I woke up fully this morning at 8:30 am.

I'm not one to have a lot of nightmares.  Or dreams.  At least not for the past several years.  Medically I know that I AM dreaming... those who don't dream have mental issues.  I just don't remember them.  I don't even have the impression of experiencing them.  I go to sleep, I wake up, I start my day.  No good thoughts/feelings or bad thoughts/feelings.   But I've now had two nightmares this past week.  If this past nightmare was my only experience, I probably would have just forgotten the whole thing in a day or so.... but having two in a week?  What the hell is my mind worrying about?

Little Boy Voice

We all have voices in our heads.  No, I'm not talking about the ones many of my patients experience... I'm talking about the voices that tell us what to do.

A big voice in my head is labeled Dad.  Sadly it's not in my Dad's actual voice but it is what I believe he'd say.  It comes across clear and loud and is unshakable in its confidence.  It's the one that said to push through college when I realized how difficult it was to become a nurse.  It's the one that said to keep sending out resumes to hospitals that had ignored my 12 previous applications.

There's another voice though.  One far more sinister.  It's what I call my 'Little Boy Voice'.  It's quiet.  It's easily ignored.  I can shut it up just about any time I want.  But it's also consistant.  It always returns.  Even when it doesnt' get it's way, it still speaks up.  Just a quiet whisper telling me what I really want to do.  While Dad's voice always makes sense, the LBV is just pure want.  There's no reason to it and therefore no reasoning with it.  Right now it's talking to me and it's saying over and over and over....

I don't wanna go ta work.