Almost everybody that knows me here knows that I have a fetish. Feminization. But it goes way beyond that. And let's face it, there are hundreds, thousands, hundreds of thousands, of fetishes. I obviously can't talk about all of them, but I wanted to touch on the subject a bit as it's been playing around in my head. This might be a wandering post, so be forewarned.
Let's get some things out of the way, at least how I see them. There's fantasies, fetishes, and the act of fetishizing.
Fantasies are scenarios we'd like to happen. These can be simple or complex. Most Fetishes are based in fantasies.
Fetishes are defined as a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to a particular object or activity.
Fetishizing is the act of making something mundane, a fetish.
For example, I have two fantasies of blowjobs. I have a fantasy of lying in bed with my legs splayed out wide, a beautiful woman lying on her belly between my legs with her face right above my cock, slowly and lovingly giving me a blowjob. I also have a fantasy of kneeling or crouching down as a woman, looking up at a man who is gently caressing my long hair while I take him into my mouth and give him a slow and loving blow job.
I have a Fetish of feminization. Of being feminized. This feminization is almost always forced in someway and rarely goes all the way to fully changing genders.
I fetishize feminine acts. Wearing lingerie and makeup. Walking in heels. Carrying a purse. Having sex not involving my penis.
But it's important to separate fetishizing something and making a part of your regular life. I have no desire to be forcibly feminized. If it were to happen, I wouldn't enjoy it. And while I don't wear lingerie, makeup, or heels, I do carry a 'man bag' as it's just damned convenient. I actually insist on calling it my purse while everybody around me seems to stretch and bend over backward in refusing to call it that. But as I carry the purse, it has no sexual impact on me whatsoever. So while I do still fetishize carrying a purse, I don't fetishize it when I actually carry one. And while I fetishize having oral or anal sex, it's while I'm presenting as a woman. I don't fetishize or fantasize about homosexual sex even though the parts remain the same.
So those are examples and definitions, as I see them, of the things I'm going to talk about. Fantasies go all over the place, fetishes can be general to very specific, and just about everything under the sun (including the sun itself) can be fetishized. So obviously I can't talk about all of it.
What I want to focus on is the feminization aspect of it all as I imagine it's something that we share.
Just off the top of my head, I see many types of feminization fantasies and fetishes. Forced feminization. Crossdressing. Sissies. Bimbos. Age regression.
Forced Feminization, my personal flavor, is all about being 'forced' to feminize. I personally really like it when "I" have to be a part of the feminization while still not being voluntary. Like presenting as a woman and fooling someone that knows the male me, but being forced to do so by another friend or some other outside force. In this type of fetish, it's all about presenting as a woman and that makes it so difficult to play out in my head or on the page (as I write a story or cap).
I think, beyond the 'forced' aspect of this, the realism is what keeps it more of a fetish for me and less of a fantasy. I know there are men that have bodies that can be disguised and dressed and made-up to look feminine. I'm not one of those men. I'm to tall, broad shouldered, and heavy set to present as a woman. Yeah, I could present as a non-standard woman and I'm sure there ARE women with my body type... but it's not the classic woman that's in my mind. For most men, this isn't possible. Down to very basic body differences between men and women. The pelvis alone is quite different between a man and a woman. Here are a couple images that I'll discuss below:
Notice that a woman's pelvis is wider both at the top and the bottom. It has a larger space in the center for child birth. And then a perfect example of what this does is in the second image... notice how the legs sit on a female and a male. A woman will have wider hips and walk differently when compared to a man of similar size.
I mention this because it really pulls me out of the 'realism' when people write that they put a dress on and are immediately fooling people that they're a woman. There's facial differences, differences in the shoulders, and differences in the ribs. And that's nothing compared to the societal differences about how men vs women stand, walk, sit, speak, or perform any action. This is a bigger difference than dressing in women's underwear.
That got a little off topic, but it's why that remains a fetish for me and not a fantasy. My forced feminization fetish can't happen.
But that's my feminization fetish/fantasy. There are so many variations. I see plenty of fantasies/fetishes based around simply dressing up a man as a woman. The people around him don't see him as a woman but treat him as one. I look at this as just a touch more than crossdressing. And then there's adding the way the feminized man acts and dresses. I think the two biggest categories here are sissies and bimbos, although there is an entire 'bitchy' category as well.
Sissies seems to have the widest variation on definition. I've seen it as people referring to an ultra feminine form that still has their penis and that's simply subservient to a master or mistress. I've also seen it as people putting men in tap style fluffy panties, a frilly pink almost childish dress, and pink mary janes. It's feminine but not feminine at the same time.
I should take a step back and say that none of this is referring to an actual trans woman who is going through her transition from male to female. That is a tough psychological and physical journey that I don't believe should be fetishized. Some people would have that as a fantasy, but many of those are ON that journey, just so early that they haven't admitted it to themselves. So, no Trans jokes or disparagement or fetishizing here.
While sissies have the widest variation in my opinion, bimbos are next. First, this is a category that I've heard and seen refer to true women as well as feminized men. But it's meant anything from a simple minded naive kind heated girl, to an over sexualized, big breasted, big over inflated lipped, woman. I've seen them referred to as incredibly sexualized, and other times sex doesn't even enter into the equation.
Both of these, sissies and bimbos, make it hard to have a conversation as when I talk about them, the reader might be hearing their own definition and not mine.
Dee, of Deelusions of Grandeur, recently had a
post that delved a bit into fetishes. It's one of the reasons I thought to write this post out even though it's been on my mind for awhile. She mentioned a few fetishes that really just kind of bother me. Clownification, inflation, and removal of teeth as examples. Clownification, being made into a clown, is just something I don't get. Inflation sounds more painful than anything, but maybe the fetish involves it not hurting? I've seen some drawings by artists I enjoy that might fit into this category, where a woman is simply 'inflated' to be bigger. Bigger breasts, bigger hips, even just simply fatter overall. But I don't know much about it in addition to 'not getting it'. And removal of teeth? What?
But that's where fetishes go. Not everybody shares them. I stared by saying we're all on the same page with feminization but there will be plenty of people out there that find that baffling. They'd respond with 'What?' and 'I just don't get it'.
So, my most general statement toward fantasies and fetishes is that if it doesn't harm those around you and only harms you in a safe way, then I'm all for it. You like it? Then I like it for you.
A recent one that I've come across is the 'not gay' videos. I'll freely admit, I got caught down this particular rabbit hole when I found a whole host of sexy reddits and started following them. These seem to be from a guys perspective doing something 'gay' or homosexual, and saying it's not gay 'if'. Like "It's not gay if I don't swallow". But the video is a bit confusing for me since I'm looking for feminization content. You see, the video almost always has a woman doing the act. So... is it feminization? The content seems to be about two guys doing it and not often mentioning feminization.
There are few other fetishes that often go with feminization that I wanted to talk about specifically.
Cuckolding. At its most basic, a man is made into a cuckold when his wife has sex with another person. I'll often include something like this when I want the subject further feminized by no longer being the 'man' in the relationship. I honestly don't have a cuckolding fantasy. If I were in a loving relationship, I think I'd prefer monogamy.
Specific Clothing. As there are many types of clothing, this is a wide type of fetish, but I mean it as a specific type of clothing turning you on. I personally have a fetish toward both thigh high stockings (with and without garters) and pantyhose. I imagine a LOT of people that have feminization as a fetish also have high heels and skirts as a fetish. But this can go as far as whole outfits. Think things like nurses or maids or nuns or secretaries. A lot of the time it's less about the actual profession than it is about the attire.
Pregnancy. Ultimately, pregnancy is one of the most feminine things. A man cannot give birth. I just don't have any strong feelings toward this. I guess because my fantasy/fetishes involve feminization without gender change, it's not a path I go down. But I'll admit, I can see the appeal when it comes to feminization.
Milking. Similar to pregnancy in that you have to have full breasts and the hormonal balance to produce milk. I sometimes see this with feminization but more often than not, it involves changing the person into a human cow hybrid (I believe it's properly called a hucow). Again, I don't have this fantasy, but I can see where it comes from. I also see it as big power balance issue as it might involve changing someone into an an animal with no autonomy. Being locked up in a stall, a miking machine put on your breasts, a feeding trough in front of you, possible even being mounted from behind to keep the hormonal balance or pregnancy up.
Black cock. I wouldn't have thought of this in terms of feminization, but evidently it follows that because black men have such large superior cocks, white men need to become feminine as they can't compete. It's also part of the 'BNWO' or Black New World Order where black men mate with white women and feminize white men. Oddly enough, none of these black cock fantasies involve black women. I mean, in order to make 'more black men' they'd need to mate with black women, right? I actually not only don't share this as a fetish, I find it insulting. First there's just the reality. As a nurse in a prison for almost ten years, I saw plenty of penises. Black, white, and other. There is no reality to 'all black men have big black cocks'. The biggest penis I saw was white, the smallest I saw was black. They had no correlation to the size of the man. Almost all the ones I saw would fit fine in the 'average' category. But I don't dislike the fetish because of a lack of realism. I don't like it because it diminishes people on a racial basis. The idea has to involve not only that black men have big black cocks, but that they prefer white women and feminizing white men. It diminishes black women as being less appealing than white women. I just find it distasteful and racist.
Pain and torture. I was going to mention cock and ball torture, but instead I'm going to wrap that up into this last more encompassing category. I get turned off by this quickly. Hurting someone has a big variance and a lot of variation. In the physical realm, it goes from a light swat or spank to true torture (flaying, burning, acid...). The same applies to emotional pain/torture as it can be light and almost playful to truly torturous. I'll say this, I don't like pain for pain's sake. I like the idea of spanking for a power dynamic, but I don't like it for the pain. The basic idea is this; if you spank an ass to pink it's fine. If you spank an ass to red, cut it, make it bleed, bruise it, then it's not fine. One is fun, the other is torture.
And as long as I'm talking about fetishes, I kind of want to talk about penis size. Hopefully this doesn't come as a surprise to anybody, but the average erect penis size of between 4 and 7 inches is called that because it's the average. I rarely read erotica, including my own, with penis sizes at or below 7 inches. I rarely see cock in porn or erotica videos that are 7 inches or less. We've more or less fetishized big cocks. I don't have a problem with that as a whole. I think it'd be pretty boring to write about a feminized guy sucking off a four inch cock that doesn't even touch her lips and doesn't even reach the back of her mouth. But when they show off those porn style big 12 inch cocks? Ummm... yeah, if you're not an actual porn star that's physiologically problematic. On the 'giving' end it's actually difficult to get and keep erect (that's a lot of blood to move and keep there!). On the 'receiving' end that doesn't fit into a mouth. That doesn't fully fit into a vaginal canal. Hell, its likely damaging in the rectum, let alone that poor anus. So again, when I see it in porn or read about it in erotica, it kind of pulls me out as it's just unrealistic.
And along the same lines.... deep throating isn't easy. People without a gag reflex, without working on it like a woman that wants to regularly deepthroat, have a medical problem. So the idea of a feminized man just being stuffed full of ten inches of cock and having it blow down his throat and straight into his belly... yeah, no. I'm trying to write that more realistically as well.
And as always, there are a LOT of fetishes I'm not covering here. I just don't see them as being really tied to the feminization fetish, but I'm sure some people see them locked together. Foot fetishes, Dom/sub fetishes, bondage fetishes... I'm not ignoring any of these, I'm just not including them!
So, how does this all affect me when it comes to writing. For the most part, I stay in my fetish/fantasy lane. In Gamer Gurl: Origins, I wrote about Marley and have hinted at that becoming a sexual relationship. Yes, Marley is black. But you can bet that I won't be making Sadie into a snow bunny that's a slave to the BNWO and a lover of nothing but big black cocks. To be honest, he's more closely based on a character from a text/picture game I was playing recently. In that game a guy was helping the feminized guy by being his/her gym trainer. That character, however, was white. I don't know what made me make Marley black other than I haven't had a black character yet and thought it'd be fun to write.
This new story, It's A Man's World will involve pregnancy in a peripheral way. All three societies will involve having sex with our protagonist to try and get her pregnant. But if pregnancy is your fetish, this will be nothing more than a tease. I have no plans on the subject actually getting pregnant. Catty might become pregnant, if for no other reason than it might keep them stuck in that time period longer. But I have no desire to try and write a firsthand experience on pregnancy.
I generally avoid writing about sissies and bimbos now-a-days as I think it just brings too much confusion. As I said above, I'll write about cuckolding but only as a matter of a 'wife' bringing in a male lover once she's feminized her husband. Or in order to feminize him. It wouldn't be a straight 'normal' cuckolding scenario. And finally I won't write about big black cocks as a fetish nor will I write about pain and torture as a fetish. Both may be IN a story I write, but they certainly won't be the primary subject. For example, the protagonist in It's A Man's World will likely be tortured in Gilead, but I plan on using that as a way to objectify her and take away her personhood, not as the fetish itself.
And in general, I'll write fetishes out as I find them interesting. I shy away from writing fetishes that I don't understand because the audience will likely spot holes in my writing that I didn't even notice. As I don't share the fetish, why alienate my audience from enjoyment?
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