I guess 2021 was better than 2020, but we're not talking about major differences here. 2021 sucked. 2020 just sucked a little more.
Lemme try and remind myself how this year went down. It started with my brother and I living in my aunt's old house. I had burned almost all of my sick time by being quarantined in November and had a bad streak of migraines. That led me to using lost time and that led me to being written up and that led me to seeking FMLA. We moved back home (Mom's house) in March after we all were vaccinated. At some point soon after that my schedule changed back to the afternoons/evenings I prefer and things went okay. But we weren't adding nurses at work and were still losing nurses. That led to more overtime which led to more nurses quitting (and that's continuing into the here and now).
I took a vacation down to Dallas and nearly killed my back. That was the last straw for Nina, who will still go down as my favorite car ever, and I traded her in on Tiffany my 2019 Lincoln Nautilus. Tiffany is the smoothest car I've ever driven as well as the most technologically advanced, but she's no Nina and she's had problem after problem. I did drive her down to Dallas for a 2nd vacation and she's great on a long trip but she lost a tire and stranded me for a couple days on the side of the road. A tire is now losing air on a regular basis again. I lost the rear windshield wiper. Twice. And that was the end of the easy car washes.
I got a new computer with an Nvidia RTX 3080 video card and she hums along at games... but the AMD processer seems a little off. Even today, the system is just running a bit slow and it's pretty annoying.
I told my friend J as well as my good friends A and J that I'm queer, so more and more people are knowing me. But then just last night I was reminded that my family might never be part of that group when my brother just scoffed at the idea of two homosexuals getting married (they shouldn't use "you may now kiss the bride" and should instead say "you may now kiss the fag"). If he can't get that, then how could he ever wrap his mind around my queerness.
I started the year seeing an endocrinologist for the first time and he changed my diabetic meds around. After that I lost nearly 40 pounds, dropped my A1C to a very healthy level, and most recently started using less insulin every day. My neurologist finally got me on a new migraine medication that seems to work better.
Mom's health is declining and she's having more and more trouble breathing. Getting around the house is difficult and going anywhere is now a scary prospect.
Back to work, I'm now getting written up for not getting my work done while at the same time am being asked to work the floor more and with the other supervisor leaving am going to have my work load doubled. Which is leading me to consider leaving this job and leaving the department of corrections entirely.
The COVID-19 pandemic is still raging and currently the Omicron variant is making this as bad as it ever was with football bowl games canceled, new year celebrations scaled back or canceled outright, and more talks of global shortages. Betty White just died a couple weeks from her 100th birthday and that saddens me deeply.
So... that's the year in review. Let's get on to the questions. I thought a bit about these questions in the days leading up to writing this out and as some always have the same answer, I think I'm going to edit them out. As this is the first year, I'll leave the question but answer it with a simple 'No Longer Going to Answer'. I'll leave the question numbers the same going forward so we'll always see where I've removed questions. Here we go!
1.What did you do in 2021 that you'd never done before?
Considered leaving a job that I love. I’ve left jobs I like before but it was
because I was accepting it wouldn’t pay me what I needed. I love being a nurse manager and I love being
a correctional nurse manager, but this staffing issue is going to be the death
of me and I might just need to leave it for my own mental health.
2.Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you
make more for next year?
No Longer Going to Answer
3.Did anyone you know give birth?
Nope. I’ll give this
another year before I give up on it but will probably drop this question sooner
rather than later.
4.Did anyone you know die?
Several people I knew peripherally died of COVID-19. Former co-workers and patients of mine. A couple distant family members died, but
none I could mention without asking my Mom.
5.What countries did you visit?
No Longer Going to Answer
6.What would you like to have in 2022 that you lacked in 2021?
This is about the same as last year. Time with my friends. J is dealing with long COVID. Traveling to visit A is scary. Having E fly in is scarier. I guess those could all be wrapped into “I
want more time without COVID-19”.
7.What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory,
and why?
I don’t remember the specific dates but getting written up
at work twice for things outside of my control are both big moments that will
remain etched on my memory. Talk about
souring the well.
8.What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Moving back home. It
sounds so small, but 2021 began thinking that it might never be possible without
completely risking Mom’s health.
Vaccines were just starting to roll out and they ended up working…. But they
easily could have been a huge failure.
9.What was your biggest failure?
Letting work get so bad.
I don’t know that I could have stopped the nurses from leaving but I was
tied up into my own job and seeing how it could work to focus clearly on the
nurses leaving. Now its to late and it’s
going to be a nightmare to get staffed back up.
10.Were you seriously ill during 2018?
I had a couple COVID-19 scares but nothing serious. I still freak out when I have a sore throat or
someone near me gets a seasonal cold… but damn it I can’t afford to take this
into work nor can I afford to bring it home.
11.What was the best thing you bought?
Tiffany? No, actually
I guess it’s the computer. Even that, I’m
not really satisfied with. The video
card IN the computer is great but I bought it as a package deal. Oddly, this might mean the Next Hub Max was
my best purchase. I used a Nest Hub next
to my bed for a smart radio and alarm clock for a couple years but even with it
being just a foot or so away from my face I couldn’t see the smaller text
without my glasses (and who sleeps with glasses?). The larger Nest Hub Max solved that problem plus
it sounds a lot better.
12.Whose behavior merited celebration?
People taking the pandemic seriously. People not complaining about shut downs or
mask mandates. People wearing masks when
it was only recommended and not mandated.
People not comparing a mask recommendation to a rebellion against all
that is free and good and holy. People
that trust the science of the vaccination process and don’t stick spoons to
their sticky chests or worry about Microsoft chips flowing in their blood.
13.Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The opposite of those above.
People who selfishly think only of themselves and believe any work that
requires us a society to work together as a government takeaway of their
freedoms.
14.Where did most of your money go?
Extra payments on my credit cards. I went into stingy mode while living away
from home and let my credit cards carry a larger balance than I am used
to. So when I moved back home and
established my normal financial rhythm I paid them down as quickly as
possible.
15.What did you get excited about?
COVID-19 getting under control. Yeah, that didn’t work out.
16.What songs will always remind you of 2019?
Lake Street Dive’s Anymore.
Especially the lyrics “So I say we're doing fine, But I'm not really
sure anymore”
17.Compared to this time last year, are you:
Sadder/Happier?
About the same, which is going on 2 years of saddness.
Thinner/Fatter?
A lot thinner.
Richer/Poorer?
About the same? I got
my normal raises and make ‘more’ per pay period, but I also now pay more every
month for a car payment.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Done more. More time
with friends, more time enjoying my computer, more time enjoying work. More. Instead
I was focused on my own fears and internal doubts far FAR to much of time regarding
COVID-19.
19.What do you wish you'd done less of?
Opposite of above I guess.
20.How will you be spending Christmas?
Christmas was an empty holiday. My brother worked so the bigger ‘family’
holiday was Sunday the 26th.
The 24th we visited with my cousins. Mom overexerted herself both times and getting
her home was stressful.
21.What is the one thing you would have gone back and done
differently this year?
Maybe done better on the car and computer purchases. I rolled myself into the computer purchase,
justifying it because it was the video card.
A little more thought and I could have spent a touch more and been far
happier with an intel build. I also went
from finding a used Ford Edge to a new Ford Edge to a used Lincoln Nautilus
without thinking about what my monthly payment would be. I could have gotten out of Nina and into a
perfectly fine car with a payment LESS than what I was paying instead of paying
more.
22.Did you fall in love in 2018?
No Longer Going to Answer
23.Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time
last year?
No Longer Going to Answer
24.What was your favorite TV program?
Star Trek Discovery.
The Disney Plus Marvel shows (WandaVision, Falcon and Winter Soldier,
Loki, What If…, Hawkeye) were all good, but paled compared to the movies. Star Trek Discovery is still just as good as
any previous Star Trek show or movie.
25.What was your greatest musical discovery?
I did a final move a few days after writing this up last
year back to Apple Music. It started
working on Google speakers and since I could upload my own files, it’s the
winner winner chicken dinner. For music
itself it’s more of a genre…. Pop.
Levitating by Dua Lipa has been on my playlist and I found out yesterday
that it was the most popular song of the year.
Umm… yeah, I guess I’m getting into pop.
26.What was the best book you read?
Stephen King’s “Billy Summers”. That says less about this book (it was fine)
and more about the other books I read.
27.Are you happy with your lot?
No.
28.What did you want and get?
To keep myself from getting COVID-19 and taking it to either
work or home.
29.What did you want and NOT get?
To have the COVID-19 pandemic either gone or wrapping
up. Here it is entering its second year
and we’re still just as fucked.
30.What was your favorite film of this year?
I really enjoyed The Matrix Resurrections. I really enjoyed Dune. Most other movies I watched were more disappointing
than good. Not necessarily bad, but for
instance Black Widow was just meh.
Mortal Kombat? Meh.
31.What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 47 in 2021.
I was basically alone at my Aunt’s.
I didn’t do anything just like I won’t do anything for my 48th.
32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably
more satisfying?
No Covid. Same as last year.
33.How would you describe your personal fashion concept in
2021?
No Longer Going to Answer as my style hasn’t changed in
years and years.
34.What kept you sane?
Getting back to being Caitlyn. Role playing, and just embracing my feminine
side more. I can tell it’s more a part
of me now as it pains me to NOT share it with my family where before I was just
worried that I wasn’t sharing. But now…
now, I’m unable to be the full me around my own family. And God, that hurts. But still, being Caitlyn online and letting J
as well as A and J know about that side of me is great.
35.Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
No Longer Going to Answer
36.What political issue stirred you the most?
The election for President.
I wasn’t surprised that Biden won.
I was surprised that it wasn’t a landslide. I was surprised that people think it was
stolen. I was ssurprised that there was
an actual fucking insurrection at the capital and an entire political party is actively
trying to NOT investigate it.
37.Who did you miss?
Friends. Same as last
year.
38.Who were the best new people you met/got to know?
Me. Getting to know
the full integrated queer me. That’s not
to say I’m the best person I met, I just haven’t met many people this
year. Let’s face it, I’m keeping away
from people I know let alone people I don’t.
39.Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2021:
That being continually distracted means all areas of my life
are worse off. My friends, my family, my
work, my recreation… it’s all gone downhill as I try to balance science and a
society that just doesn’t care (how many times to I have to be the only fucking
one with a mask on?).
40.Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Pressure pushing down on me
Pressing down on you, no man ask for
Under pressure that burns a building down
Splits a family in two
Puts people on streets
Um ba ba be
Um ba ba be
De day da
Ee day da, that's okay
It's the terror of knowing what the world is about
Watching some good friends screaming
"Let me out!"
Pray tomorrow gets me higher
Pressure on people, people on streets
Pressure by Queen
Sadly this is like 2020 part 2. Mostly about COVID-19. Maybe 2022 will be better. Let’s face it, it really can’t get
worse.
Here’s to 2022!
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