But before all that, lets go over some Dungeons and Dragons history. Or at least, my introduction to it and how that worked its way through my life. As an adolescent in junior high and high school, my life was largely defined by my older brother. What he liked was almost always 'cool' and what he put his energy into, I put energy into too. His love for music (he liked Metallica, I liked Metallica), cars (he loved 60s muscle cars, I loved 60s muscle cars), food (he liked McDonalds, I liked McDonalds), and games (he liked competitive computer games, I liked competitive computer games), went on for a long time. I think, honestly, until I was in college and he was back home from the Navy my course in life was a kind of mirror of his.
Not all was the same as I went into band (this one year at bandcamp...) and chess club, while he avoided extra school activities like the plague, but one of the many interests he got and passed to me was his love for Dungeons and Dragons. My actual introduction was his reading the three original Dragonlance novels and letting me borrow them. I was far more into reading Star Trek books as I'd read the Lord of the Rings trilogy and was bored out of my mind by them.... but Dragonlance was written for a younger, less serious audience. It was bubblegum pop to JRR Tolkien's serious 5 course meal. When R came home with the introduction books to Dungeons and Dragons a little while later, I jumped at the chance to learn and play.
I think my brothers and I, along with various other people coming in and out of our group, loved D&D because it was more about creative story telling. Sure, there were rules for everything, and we could have run it that way, but we bent rules everywhere to better fit our style of telling a compelling story lead by the Dungeon Master but acted out by all the players.
I don't recall our earliest campaigns. We considered a campaign as a single set of charcters, played through from a low level (we didn't always start at level 1) and ending when they decided to settle down and stop adventuring. We had some characters where that was one big long adventure, then they stopped afterward, only achieving level 8 or 9. We had some that continued to such a high level that they fought against the fantasy God's themselves (some are now continued on as a God to be worshiped for all future campaigns). And of course a lot of the campaigns ended when the characters went to far and they died. We never looked at dying as a bad thing... people push past their abilities in life all the time, and whomever was DMing would let that play out. Sometimes there was the magical mysterious 'save' from nowhere that would keep the campaign going, but more often than not, if you tugged on the dragon's beard, the dragon was going to eat you and we'd be rolling new characters before the sun came up!
My brothers, R and B, and I are above average in intelligence. I'd like to think WAY above average, but I wouldn't go that far. We played D&D for the most part with two of R's friends who were... well, it's safe to say they were less than intelligent. Whomever was DMing, whether it was R, B, or myself, those two friends, lets call them T and B, were always players. So if there was a 'God Attitude' it was at least a little bit earned. We could make up an entire world for them to play in... they couldn't do the same.
Our world was heavily based in the world of Dragonlance, but while it was the starting point we edited it heavily as we went along. Adding in more gods (from Roman and Greek panthenons of Gods, to our own creative creatures), more races, more forms of magic, and even more forms of fighting (we at one point had gunslingers!).
If I really try not to embelish, I'd guess that we started no later than my freshman year, because I was still at the Junior High School (while I was in school the Jr High School had grades 7 through 9, while the High School only had 10 through 12). I know we played around R's time in the navy and into college, but stopped before I went on to Ferris. We then, like with R's time in the navy, picked it back up when I went to photo school. By the time R moved to Texas and I moved to Chicago, we had stopped playing. We tried to pick it up afterward, but life situations just didn't fit any longer.
Freshman year was 1989. Ferris was 1994. Chicago was 1998. So we played on and off for about 9 years. Seriously, it feels like it was a LOT longer than that. It feels like Dungeons and Dragons was all of my older childhood and my young adulthood.
But times change and we stopped. It was a big part of our history so we always talked about it and wondered what was happening in that world, but we knew that our playing time was over. That is until B had his boys and they grew old enough to start asking about playing Dungeons and Dragons. It was the perfect time as it was coming back into vogue at the time (Stranger Things?), and they could watch people play it on youtube. The thought of them learning about D&D by watching actors play on youtube seems odd and foreign, but that's their reality and well past my childhood reality.
So several years go, B asked if I wanted to play D&D with him, his boys, and his highschool friend E. I thought it might be fun to teach the kids, but I figured it would last a few months and just blow over their heads. You see, B's kids aren't the sharpest knives in the drawer. I know they could probably get into all the rules and such, but that's not how we played. We would want them to pick up D&D our way... with story leading the way and not just a bunch of rule defined die rolls.
Now, several years later, we're onto our second campaign! The first campaign was DMed by B. And that made sense as he could spend extra time with the boys to explain things that happened, and why E and/or I did the things we did. We let the boys play the 'easier' roles of warriors, while E played a flawed magic user and I played a flawed priest. About a year into the campaign, there was a bad series of die roles, and my priest character who had ended up being the anchor of the group, died. B and I just looked at each other to know that this was a good time to show that death was real in the game. We'd all died before, but in the service of the game, the DM brought us back to continue fighting. There were prices to pay, but death wasn't the end.
Until it was.
We even hammed it up. I liked having music play while we were playing and couldn't help cueing up a song that my nephews thought of as sad:
As the battle continued and I let B, the DM, explain what my dead body looked like (he actually had to explain the scene as my character's body was disintegrated, leaving behind my clothes and magic items), I cued up this song.
I think I hit the right note as they not only played their characters as raging against the enemy who killed my character, they were playing angry and sad. I'll always hear this song as the death knell of Hijad, my weak and flawed priest who died a useless and meaningless death.
I rolled a new character the next time and played a different form of priest, but unfortunately the other characters were fairly high level and it is always hard to integrate a new character into an ongoing campaign. And without my leadership, and E playing a fairly egotistical replacement leader, the group eventually broke up. We didn't die and would continue to live our separate lives, but the campaign was done.
We thought about it for awhile and finally decided the next campaign would be DMed by me. B wanted his chance to play and I wanted my chance to world build. I pushed the campaign 500 years into the future so that the boys would have fun seeing behind the curtains about how the history flowed and changed into the present. Some of the God's had changed, some of the power dynamic of races and magics had changed, and religions were radically different.
And it's not all just a retread for me. Decades ago when it was R, B, and I playing and DMing, it was almost ALL story. We kept track of hit points and character specs, but for the most part you didn't know what the monster's hit points were. We would simply roll a die to see 'how well' you did in your plan. If you just tried to hit the moster, you were going to fail. If you told me you swung your sword and tried to slide it right into the weak point of his armor, telling me that your above intelligence would help you find that area, your 10 levels of experience and high wisdom would let you know that such a place exists and that your sword could slice through it, and that the evil guy's overbearing overstrong fighting style would lead to him presenting those weak spots, I'd nod, agree, and then make you roll a 20 sided die with the higher the numbe, the better your plan works out. Roll a 20 and you not only hit the spot you were aiming for, you chopped his freaking arm off! Roll a 1, and you tripped while trying to do it and he got a free hit on you!
But the boys aren't ready for that. They not only see me as 'big baller' uncle C, they see me as an expert in D&D who is not to be questioned. So we still play with hit points, and THAC0s, and Armor Class, and it takes me a LONG time to set up basic fights with goblins and kobolds.
Anyway, I think it's really fun to watch my nephews grow into the roles they're playing. B is now playing the fighter/warrior, E is playing a rogue/thief, while my nephew J is playing a cleric and Z is playing a wizard. It IS harder to play those classes as a lower level character, but they both know patience will be rewarded when they can cast fireball, lightning, and firestorm!
Weekends
So, I thought about talking this through with D&D as our best times to play are on the weekends. We have to work everybody's schedule out and there are different needs on each of us. B has his oddly scheduled job so we don't' know when he'll be available more than a week out. E has a young family (his kids are just starting school!) and he's going back to college, so he has tests to prep for and papers to write. Z is still in school so he can't play late on a weeknight, while J has dropped out of school (I don't want to talk about how much that disappointing me!) and had a job to work around up until a couple weeks ago (he quit that one and is looking for another now). My monday thorugh friday job is the easiest tow work around as I could play for a few hours after getting home at 9 pm on weeknights or play anytime Saturday and Sunday.
Since B moved in with Mom, R, and I and I don't want to disturb or displace Mom with our game, we now play at Es. I think he really likes being the one who hosts our games and his wife likes cooking for us (she thinks I'm a foodie and... well she cooks really good so I won't complain!). We've found that playing on Saturdays that B has off is the best, although he normally works on Sundays and therefore we have to stop around 11 pm (we've played as late as 4 am before, while R B and I used to play well past sunrise!). As it's a group effort to get it going, I consider D&D one of the primary things that happen on the weekend. But here's a basic idea of my priorities for weekend planning.
Vacations or trips take the biggest president. Those require a lot more planning and laying out quite a bit of money, so I'll only let a family get together delay those. If I'm going to Columbus with J to see a show, or going to drive down to Dallas and visit with A and his family, I'll have those planned weeks if not months in advance.
After that, D&D is next. If the guys can play Saturday afternoon and evening, then we play Saturday afternoon and evening. If that's Saturday evening and well int the night, then so be it. If it's Friday evening, then again on Sunday evening, that's cool too.
Those are about the only group things I do. Trips with or to Friends and D&D. Some of the many personal things I like to do include
- Playing video games
- I'm currently playing Star Wars: Jedi Fallen Order
- I'm also in a low point as gaming isn't taking up much of my time
- Playing at DX
- I am playing my normal Caitlyn character there as well as an alternative male patron, although he is only involved with a single character thread
- Making caps
- I still try to make a cap, or obscura, or write a story each weekend.
- Sometimes I get into a grove and can make enough caps to last posting every other day through the week!
- I also take this as an opportunity to read through caps like Dee's to not only enjoy their contributions, but also get some creative energy and inspiration!
- Writing here
- I do like to just vent. Get things off my chest, or write so that I can get a bigger outside picture on my personal struggles.
- This also serves as a journal of sorts. I don't write about everything in my life, but when I want to know when I bought Mom's Escape or my 1st Fusion, I check here. When I want to remember how it felt to get a Root Canal, I read about my experience here.
- Organizing for the week
- This includes getting my lunches ready... buying everything from Gatorade to trail mix
- Laundry
- Setting up my pills for the week and ordering any that can't extend out 2 weeks
- With the coronavirus scare, I'm actually getting at least a month's supply now.
- Going through any mail from the week that I didn't get to it and shredding most of it.
- Paying any bills I didn't do Thursday morning (Thursday is payday)
- Going over any bigger purchases like my recent keyboard or looking to help B with a car purchase
- Going over any music that's caught my ear during the week.
- If I hear a song I like on the radio or in a TV show, I'll make a note of it and then listen to it as a song and see if I want to add it to my library.
- I also go through the New York Times' Louder playlist to see if they recomend anything good.
So, those are the things I want to do. I also watch some youtube, and some movies and some television, but those are things I do through the week as well.
The family obligations are getting a little more intrusive too. Sunday has always been the big family meal. I don't know where that started, but it's when Mom will make big things like roast beef, fried chicken, or try out newer recipes that are more than a one pot meal. That big meal is always later in the day, say between 2 pm and 4 pm, so I try to make a Sunday morning trip to McDonalds for everybody as otherwise I'm starving by the time 'dinner' is ready. The later meal for Sunday is then relegated to second hand meals. Cereal or lunch-meat sandwiches are most common. But even more than the Sunday Meal, there's now shopping for mom. Or more appropriately, picking up orders Mom has made at the local stores. She'll order from Walmart, which I hate supporting, Kroger which I don't mind, Meijer which I like, and/or Sam's Club which I hate as much as Walmart as it IS Walmart. I mean, come on Sam's Club.... why do I need to show my store ID when I don't NEED a store ID to buy the booze you sell? Why do I need to show you my receipt and have one of your employees not only scan it, but scan one of the things in my cart, just to get out the door?
Mom started shopping this way as she was having a harder and harder time going shopping and walking through the stores. She could do this instead and have them load up her Escape with all her groceries from Kroger or Walmart, get her stuff into a cart for her at Sam's, or even deliver it from Meijer. But she's degraded enough that even that is too much for her. So now she orders it in the same way, but I have to go get it. And she makes huge orders so I can't take my sexy Nina, I have to instead take her Escape.
I'd rather she just give me a list and let me walk through the store. I could then pick out the actual pieces of meat or produce, and make decisions when they don't have something instead of us just not getting it. But I don't have the heart to tell her how to live her life an if she thinks this is making it easier for me, then so be it. It's making her life better at the expense of my own enjoyment. A fair price, as far as I'm concerned.
I won't tell my family that this is the reason... but I now get up early on Saturdays and Sundays just to get some 'me' time in. Time to drink my coffee, read my email, and do things at my pace before I have to go shopping for mom on Saturday, or go get breakfast so that I can later help her prep a big dinner that I don't want on Sunday.
I'm sure I'll later look back at entries like this and hate myself because Mom will have passed and I'll wish I'd spent more time with her, or at least made her life a little better instead of complaining like a spoiled child... but I... well I AM a spoiled child and I DO want to do what I want to do when I want to do it, not do everything on someone else's pace and timeline.
Owning a Dog
This one is simple. I don't want one.
I am just sick and tired of caring for this little beast that runs around the house and ruins everything. Yeah yeah, R runs around the house and ruins everything (from my perspective) too, but he's my brother and this is his house as much as it is mine.
Z, our dog, on the other hand is a pet I don't want and I still have to care for. If I don't take him out, he'll piss and shit on the floor. R and Mom won't do it half the time, so it's somehow my fault when he messes on the floor. I have to make sure he's fed at meal times even though I don't think he should be fed that way or even fed the food he gets. I draw the line of adding saved back human food.. he gets dog food when I feed him. But R and Mom don't get my reasoning and I get to hear them 'apolgoize' for my being mean to the dog. And I mean that... they apologize to Z for my feeding him dog food and say that I'm just being mean.
They do understand that the dog doesn't understand them and it's just a passive aggressive way to complain to me that I'm not feeding their dog in the way they'd want me to feed him. Right? Well it doesn't matter... I hate that dog and can't wait for it to die. The only reason I want it to live is that if he dies before mom, I'll have to get her another dog. Another dog that I'll have to care for and then keep for years after she does eventually pass on. I'm just too much of a softy and know that at that point I wouldn't be getting rid of an animal that I didn't want or love. I'd be killing "Mom's Dog".
Understand, Z is 14 years old now. He's OLD. He has trouble seeing, he's practically entirely deaf, has body spots growing up like pimples everywhere that make it hard for him to be petted, is losing hair on his tail, and has a large blood blister thing on his tail that looks like a cancerous wart, but that the vet says is fine. She can get rid of it if we want, but it will cost several thousands of dollars.
Oh, and he has the most disturbing problem of having is trachea collapse. He tries to bark or growl and then it will just squeeze shut, leaving him most of the time choking on the dining room floor. Occasionally this will happen just through his regular breathing, and he'll start wheezing louder and louder as he's not moving enough air. At that point the only way to snap him out of it is to take his face in your hands (he'll struggle against this) and blow into his nose. It makes him swallow that will then clear out the trachea problem.
I might come back later this weekend and describe my dental adventure and the pain I'm dealing with and maybe cover politics and how I see the race for president, but my typing is slowing and I really need to start the laundry and help Mom with dinner.
See you later!
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