Migraine
I haven't noticed any change in my migraines. I went to the 4.5mg low dose naltrexone (LDN) on October 3rd so it will be three weeks this coming Thursday. If there's no change by then, I'll let my neurologist know and see what he says.
I still haven't heard from my other neurologist. Frankly, with the depression hitting an all time low I didn't feel like calling them. I plan to contact them this afternoon and see if I can get in to see them.
Other Health
The big health issue since the last post has been the depression. It was really bad. I did get a quick visit with my doctor and he agreed that changing my meds might work. I've been on Wellbutrin for a long time now and it's worked for my occasional depression. Obviously, it wasn't working now. The problem is that it works in a similar manner to the SSRIs that the therapist recommended. SSRIs are more standard or normal anti-depressant medications. You probably know them by the brand names they're sold under including Celexa, Lexapro, Prozac, Paxil, and Zoloft.
SSRI stands for "Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors". The problem with being on Wellbutrin and an SSRI is that Wellbutrin also messes with serotonin. So, my doc tapered me off of Wellbutrin and put me on a 'normal' starting dose of Paxil. 20mg daily. He also gave me a psychiatric consult as they would specialize in the treatment of depression through medication.
I got called by the psychiatric office a couple days later and did a phone 'intake' interview where we discussed my problem. A few days later I got the paperwork in the mail. Most of the paperwork is about getting into their offices as it's not the easiest or clearest entrance in the world. BUT one of the pieces of paperwork is a reminder of the type of care I'm asking for. It was another 'intake' form going over medical history, medications, and.... dietary needs. The only reason you ask about dietary needs is if they are going to be providing a diet. As in, they intake me involuntarily (or voluntarily) into their care on an inpatient basis. Now, involuntary care requires a judges order, but if they believe I'm a danger to myself, then it's not a big problem to get a judges order.
Hopefully it won't come to that.
I saw my doctor a couple weeks later for a follow up and had no improvement. He said since Wellbutrin had helped before, we could either add that back into the treatment (you can be on both Wellbutrin and an SSRI so long as they are both lower than half of their full dose), or we could increase the Paxil. I didn't have a strong opinion either way so he picked adding the Wellbutrin back in. It's not exactly the same med as it's a long release and I only take it once a day as opposed to before where I took it morning and evening.
My doctor didn't schedule another follow up as I'll see the psychiatric department in a few weeks and they'll start managing my meds at that point. I have to say, I started the new Wellbutrin med/dose this past Thursday and noticed an almost immediate effect. I'm still feeling down but Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and today so far have been 'not bad' days. I wouldn't call myself happy, but I also can honestly say I haven't thought of killing myself. So, that's an improvement, right?
Oh, and one last thing. Side effects. Once I started taking the Paxil I became tired as all fuck. I went from sleeping around 5 or 6 hours a night (along with a 1 or 2 hour nap during the afternoon) to sleeping around 8 or 9 hours a night (along with a 2 or 3 hour nap during the afternoon). In addition to the tiredness I've had a radial reduction in my sexual arousal. I'd normally masturbate once a day on average. Sometimes more than once, sometimes once every other day, but about once a day on average. Since I started the Paxil, I've masturbated twice. That's in two and a half weeks. And both of those times, it was difficult as it was hard to maintain an erection. So, that's going to be a fun conversation with the psychiatric department.
Oh, and one last thing. I keep saying psychiatric department and other things instead of psychiatrist. That's because I've specifically been scheduled with a nurse practitioner. I have no problem seeing a nurse practitioner as a behavioral health professional but I can't exactly call her a psychiatrist.
Finances
I'll start this by admitting this is truly a first world problem, but it's still as annoying as fuck.
My credit union has decided to change from using Master Card debit card to Visa debit cards. Previously when my debit card expired and I had to get a 'new' card, it was just a different expiration date and a different CVV number. Obviously, however, changing from Master Card to Visa involves changing the card's full 16 digit number. And whoa boy, that is a LOT of changing automatic monthly payments. Even after I input the new card information into my Google Wallet and my Password Manager, I had to update about a dozen different sites that hit the card directly on a monthly basis. This happened a couple weeks back, but I'm still catching ones that slipped through the cracks. This morning, Vixen (my current porn provider) sent me an email that my card (my old card) was denied. Frustratingly when I go to the site they direct me to, there is only an options to cancel my membership, start a chat, or a phone number to call.
I tried the online chat, but they quickly confirmed my account and said they couldn't do credit card transactions over chat, so I'd have to call them. Calling them sucked as it was with an operator that had english as a second language. She wasn't bad, but I had to pause several times and replay what she said in my head to figure it out. Anyway, I got that figured out and am now just waiting for the next service to contact me about not being able to use my card.
Family/Friends
I really want to contact A and/or E about getting together. They both said they'd have available time off starting in October. The problem is of course the migraines. While it would be worth it to me to just have a change of scenery, I'm not sure it would be worth it to them. We might meet up in a city and they see me in the morning and evening as I stay in the hotel room all day.
I'll just wait for them to contact me. Hopefully it won't be too long.
Entertainment
I can't exactly call it an annual event as this is only the second year of my plan, but I'm doing my October month long scary movie fest again. Last year I watched The Exorcist, Exorcist II: The Heretic, The Exorcist III, Exorcist: The Beginning, Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Poltergeist, Halloween (2007), Halloween II (2009), 28 Days Later, 28 Weeks Later, The Fly, The Fly II, Halloween (1979), Halloween (2018), Halloween Kills, Halloween Ends, Hellraiser, Dawn of the Dead, Ghostbusters, Ghostbusters 2, Ghostbusters Answer The Call, and Ghostbusters Afterlife.
I had several movies still on the list and watched It, It Chapter 2, Thir13en Ghosts, and Doctor Sleep between Halloween of 2023 and this month. Even then, there were several left over, but not enough for a months worth. I started the same way as last year by including all my movies still on the list and asking my brothers and the D+X Discord server. I also added a few that I just wanted to see.
I'm trying to be a little more of a spendthrift, so I prioritized movies that I either already own or are available on a streaming service that I already pay for.
So far I've watched Brightburn, Get Out, House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects, The Belko Experiment, Salem's Lot (2024), Poltergeist II, The Shining, 3 From Hell, The Lords of Salem, The Thing, Phantasm, Phantasm II, The Babbadock, Silver Bullet, They Live, The Lighthouse, Fright Night, The Nun, The Conjuring, The Conjuring 2, The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It, Annabelle, Annabelle Creation, Annabelle Comes Home, The Nun II, Tarot, Event Horizon, I Saw the TV Glow, and Salem's Lot (1979). I started Sinister last night and will finish it either this afternoon or tonight.
Other easily streamable or previously purchased movies on the list include 31, Alien, 30 Days of Night, and Us.
Beyond that I have to start purchasing movies. The rest of the list includes Nope, Human Centipede, Evil Dead (1981), Evil Dead 2 (1987), Army of Darkness, The Grudge, The Ring, Under the Skin, Insidious, The Descent, Dog Soldiers, The Wolfman, American Werewolf in Londton, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Drag Me To Hell, and Body Snatchers. I don't think I'll get through all of these before the end of the month so I'll have to start prioritizing which ones I'd like to add and which ones I can hope will be streaming next year.
One odd thing that came up is that I grew a little tired of scary movies. It's easy to understand with the migraines. I got onto a hook of watching clips from Top Gear as I loved that series. But the more clips I watched and loved, the more I realized I wanted the FULL clips. The entire sections of the show. I found a promising YouTube channel that figured a way around showing copyrighted material... they broke up entire episodes into bits ranging from 10 seconds to 2 minutes and then lined them up into a playlist. I watched a few episodes like that and enjoyed it. But the fourth episode I tried to watch had about ten of the segments flagged as copyrighted and they weren't available, meaning the episode had major holes in it.
At that point I grew tired of trying to find a way around it and just went ahead and bought it. Fandango at Home had Seasons 6 through 22 available for $5 apiece. I'm not sure why they don't have the earlier seasons and the later seasons are after Jeremy Clarkston, James May, and Richard Hammond left the show. So, for around $80 I now own most of the Top Gear shows that I want.
New Tech
No new tech to talk about.
Writing
Between the depression and the reduced sexual arousal, I haven't been in the right mindset to even think about writing. I'm choosing to specifically not worry about this. I've had dry spells before and this is honestly a highly stressful time so I won't let the inability to write, which is a relaxing thing, become a stressful thing. I'll get back in the saddle eventually.
Tiffany Fallout
I'm done with Tiffany. I had a drive in Layla a few days ago after the Paxil and Wellbutrin started working and honestly didn't mind driving her around. She's fine. Yeah, I'd rather have a better vehicle, but we're really splitting hairs on whether an older Lincoln or a newer Ford would be better. I'd still be pissed off if I had an older Lincoln. So, why bother about it at all? Screw the license plate, I'm insured, I'm not looking for a new car.
The last thing I have to do is wait until I have enough in my Savings account to pay off Layla, and then pay her off. That will probably be in December or January. Anything else regarding Tiffany will go into other sections in future update posts.
Michigan Football
Yeah, this is a bad year for Michigan Football. I guess I forgot just how good we've had it over the last three years. Or rather, a lot of fans forgot that. I'm fine with how its going considering the coaching and player turnover we've had. No, our defense isn't as good as it was supposed to be. Neither is our offensive line. Our running game isn't nearly as good but I'd put that more on the lack of a throwing threat from our three quarterbacks. None of them, Davis Warren, Alex Orji, or Jack Tuttle, are good. When the defense you're facing knows you can't throw the ball it becomes very easy to stop the run without an elite offensive line and elite running backs. Our line and backs are good, but they're not elite.
Losing to Texas is bad but understandable. They're truly good. Losing to Washington could be blamed on traveling all the way across the country. But this past week we lost to Illinois 7-21. That's the lowest Michigan has scored since 2014.
Next week we have Michigan State and that's a tossup at best as they're starting to surge. After that comes Oregon, Indiana, Northwestern, and Ohio State. Frankly, only Northwestern looks winnable. It's either win both Michigan State and Northwestern to get to bowl eligibility, or end up with a 5-7 or worse record.
No matter what, I'm still a fan. And until a new team is crowned National Champion, no matter how bad Michigan is doing, Michigan is the reigning National Champion! GO BLUE!
Layla Review
I noticed something else the other day about Layla that's disappointing when compared to Tiffany. Noise. Tiffany was downright quiet driving down the road. You didn't really hear any tire, road, or wind noise, let alone cars around you.
It's tough to compare Layla against previous cars as Nina's engine was so glorious to listen to and Isabella was over 5 years ago now. But Layla is NO WHERE near as quiet as Tiffany was. Not bad, but still a bit disappointing.
Ongoing Computer Issues
I don't know what to do anymore.
The damned slideshow issue came back yesterday. I'm not looking into it or doing anything about it, but I'm back to having to switch from a single image to slide show any time I change desktops.
And the speaker issue might actually be down to the speakers themselves. For almost three weeks, since my last post, I've been able to use the HDMI sound output from the computer into the TV (and then into the speakers) and it worked flawlessly. Until three mornings ago when it just didn't. No sound went from the TV to the speakers. This happened first thing in the morning so I was in no mood to test it's limits and see if restarting the speakers (which requires unplugging them), the TV, and/or the computer would help. I was able to get sound output that day through the USB cable with all of its downsides. The next day the HDMI worked again.
At some point I'm going to see if there are any similarly sized speakers that have HDMI, USB, and normal sound inputs at a reasonable price.
No comments:
Post a Comment