'Rona

 

Why do I find COVID-19.... coronavirus... so fucking scary?  I see people I know, people I trust, throwing caution to the wind.  Going out, having fun, traveling, being with family, being with friends.  Meanwhile I'm holed up in my dead aunt's house, not going out anywhere other than work, the store to buy groceries, or the gas station to fill up Nina.  Am I being too cautious?  Are they being too flippant?  Lets look at it together and maybe come up with the right way to look at it.  

I'm being serious too... I haven't been able to think clearly and any time I try to consider how how we got here and where we should be or where we should go from here, I just break down and can't think it through.  I want to cry or rail or run away and end up NOT thinking about it.  It's always easier to just go on cruise control and let momentum carry us through to the next thing.  

So, as I understand it, coronavirus is really bad for a large portion of our population.  People with respiratory issues, the elderly, diabetics, those with heart conditions.  If these people get the 'Rona, they are likely to have more severe symptoms, end up in a hospital, end up on a ventilator, and end up dying.  Dying.  I know people die from the flu and all manner of other diseases, but damnit.  For younger, more healthy, people there is less chance of them having severe symptoms.  They might get "a cold" with sore throat, cough, fever, and a few days/weeks off of work/school.  But this isn't much different than influenza.  The flu.  It's bad, you can die from it, but we have a seasonal vaccine and you don't shut down everything for going on 8 months trying to get over it. 

Two things combine to make 'Rona really scary to me.  Our natural defense against it and how long you can have it without symptoms.  So, our defense against SARS-CoV-2 (severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2 which is the full name of the coronavirus that's out there) is just about nothing.  We fight it off about as well as the common cold.  Which ironically, most common/seasonal colds are coronaviruses.  Anyway, with many/most viruses if you've never been exposed to it and you haven't been vaccinated against it, you'll get and develop a way to fight it.  Antibodies.  Now, defense against a virus is more complex than simply having antibodies... in fact there are several types of antibodies to consider, but the gist of the point is that once you're exposed to a virus, whether in the wild or in a controlled vaccinated process, you can fight off that particular infection and keep the ability to fight off future exposures.  But so far we've had mixed results from 'Rona.  Some people that have had it, experienced symptoms and tested positive on a lab test, have recovered, tested negative, and then gotten it again.  I've personally seen people, patients of mine, that have had it, had symptoms, tested positive on lab tests, recovered, tested negative on lab tests, tested positive on antibodies (supposed defense against future infections), get sick AGAIN.  

So, we don't have a natural defense against this and while we're rushing for a vaccination, we might find that it gives us temporary or even no actual protection against the virus.  And then there's the lag time.  So person one has 'Rona.  They cough next to person two and transmit the disease.  Person two can start spreading the disease themself as early as a few days later... with no symptoms present.  In fact, people are MOST contagious 1 to 3 days BEFORE they show symptoms.  The average lag between being exposed to the virus and showing symptoms is 5 days.  It can be as high as 14.  

So that's where my fear comes from... the combination of those two facts.  You can get it and not know it for a long time, be spreading it for a long time without any clue of infection, and the people you expose have little to no defense against it.  If you're exposing someone who falls into those more comorbidities (elderly, heart conditions, respiratory conditions, diabetes, obesity), it's more likely they'll have a bad reaction and get really sick.  

So what can we do?  Well... turtling up like me is an option.  But I won't lie and say it isn't terrible in the long term.  I'm not doing well with this.  So let's look at lesser things we can do and the advantages/disadvantages.

• Masks.  These don't need to be N95 respirators or anything extreme.... any cloth covering over your mouth and nose will help prevent infecting others and will offer some protection for those wearing the mask.  Yes, in case you're one of the many people I come in contact with that doesn't understand that fact... masks are more about protecting OTHERS and less about protecting yourself.  Remember, you can have the virus with no symptoms and be spreading it around for two weeks... wearing a mask while out in public protects everybody around you.  
• Advantages - its a cheap easy way to help out as a society.  Seriously, I've scoured the internet to find masks that both fit and match my shirt/tie combinations at work (gotta show off the style!) and its cost me maybe $40.  For like 15 masks.  If you're not picky about the masks, you can just stick with black and you won't spend as much.  
• Disadvantages - people are pussies and refuse to wear them saying that the government is taking away their freedoms through 'making' them wear masks.  A very small group of people have severe enough respiratory issues that wearing a mask is dangerous for them, BUT if those people are truly that fragile then they shouldn't be out and about at ALL as 'Rona is just going to straight up KILL them.  These would be the same people that already turtle up during flu seasons because flu=death for them.  So the Karens in the world that say breathing in their on CO2 is harmful.... fuck you.  

And honestly, everything else is an extension of people either NOT wearing masks enough or reducing the chance further than masks.  Reducing the chance of infection more than masks is simple... stay away from people.  No big gatherings, no crowded spaces.  That's shopping and concerts and bars and festivals and meetings at work and classrooms and... it's public life.  I personally believe we wouldn't have to be nearly as strict about reducing these public group events if people would just wear their masks better/more.  Anybody NOT in a mask is a possible super spreader, giving it to dozens/hundreds/thousands of people.  

Theres the vaccine, and I DO trust science to get us protection.  Eventually.  I just don't believe it will be good enough protection.  I think this first we'll find out that this first batch of vaccines will give us protection for weeks or months... but not even a year of protection let alone permanent protection.  It might be years before we get real protection.  But that's my opinion and we really have to wait to see.  The other problem with vaccinations is who will get them?  Just look at the fear of people with decades old vaccines.  How are they going to feel about a new vaccine?  We need a good majority of the population to get the vaccine to even approach herd immunity.  

I just don't know.  

What I do know is that I work in a risky area.  I might have the 'Rona and be spreading it and at no time can I feel safe that I don't have it.  So at any time, I might be spreading it.  Spreading it to my elderly mother who has respiratory issues, cardiac issues, diabetes, and is obese.  So I can't live with her or care for her.  I visit her once a week with Sunday breakfast and live in fear every week that I'm giving her the virus as I sit 6 feet from her and don't wear a mask (can't eat with a mask).  That 'not living with her' is also 'not living where my home is'.  And it's killing me.  That fear of infecting and killing my mother is killing me.  And whenever I see someone walking around with their mask guarding their chin but not their nose, or hear someone complaining that their freedoms are being stolen away I want to grab them by their lapels and yell at them that their flippant attitude is fucking killing me.