They Ain't Getting Better

This is just a quick update on my migraines.  The title kind of says it all... they're not only NOT getting better, they're getting worse.  I last updated you on June 11th as I was tapering up and down on topamax.  I had taped up to 100mg a day under my neurologist's direction and had decided to go back down to 75mg a day under my own choice.  Well, 75mg wasn't really any better.  Like every dose of topamax it was different, but not better.  I did have fewer migraines, but they were far worse than my 'normal' migraines.  I have to put the air quotes on that as I still don't really have a 'normal' migraine.


Anyway, with the ongoing language problems on topamax I decided that it was just the wrong drug.  I had an appointment with my neurologist, but he had to reschedule because he had jury duty.  Then he had to reschedule again because of a family emergency.  Thankfully he has a large enough practice that I had the option of seeing a nurse practitioner in his place. That didn't exactly go swimmingly as she initially thought I was there for seizures.

Yeah, that didn't exactly inspire confidence on my part.  But, being a nurse, I understand how problems can come up and accepted her apology.  She then went into how the treatment was working and seemed happy at the reduction of the number of migraines.  She brushed aside the language problems as if they shouldn't be a concern though and didn't seem to care that the migraines and migraine hangovers were far more severe than my normal ones.... she wanted me to continue on that dose.  I actually had to forcefully refuse.

She 'allowed' me to taper off of it at the same rate that I had tapered up (two weeks at each dose, meaning a month more on it), but she was unwilling to do more than talk about any other options.  I thought that was fair as she was merely standing in for my neurologist and she said she'd discuss the plan with him.

A few days later I got a call from the office and got the next step.  Once I'm off of the topamax, I'm going to start on Depakote.  It's another anti-seizure medication that has had success at preventing migraines.  I imagine since there was some success with topamax that it's worth trying and at this point I'm willing to try anything.  The disappointing thing is that depakote's main side effect is weight gain.  Damn it... I just got my diabetes in good control and if I start putting on 10 or 15 pounds (a reasonable expectation with depakote) I can expect my blood sugars to go up and need extra care.

But if I needed any reminder as to why it's worth it, I got it yesterday.  I felt this migraine coming in a few days out.  It seems to come on with extra sleep.  Like my body is 'resting up' for the migraine.  Well, Monday night I slept for 8 hours as opposed to my normal 5.5.  Tuesday I had a really bad headache all day.  Wednesday started out fine but then the headache came back while I was at work.  And then it quickly escalated.  Sensitivity to light.  Confusion.  Blurry vision.  Sensitivity to sound.  Within a couple hours it was undeniable that I was in the middle of a major migraine and would need to go home... I just wasn't going to get 'trapped' at work again.

Once I got home I took my eletripatan, some tylenol and some motrin... and nothing.  It just kept getting worse and worse. A half hour later I sought escape in my bed with my covers over my face (I hate covering my face but I couldn't stand the pressure of any light on my eyes).  I slept on and off for 6 hours and when I 'woke up' at 9pm I still had the fucking migaine.  I was a little better, but it was still there.  I couldn't sleep, I couldn't do anything.

I stayed up at the computer in agony until 3am and finally went back to sleep and slept for another 5 hours.  When I woke up this morning the worst of the migraine was gone... but damn, that was bad.  Most of the headache is still here and I'm still dealing with some confusion, but the light sensitivity and sound sensitivity and blurry vision are all gone.  I should be all good by tomorrow.

Fuck the diabetes and fuck my weight, I'll put on 50 pounds if it will get rid of these debilitating migraines.




Oh, and as long as I'm updating you on my health, my shoulder is all fucked up.  I did a month of physical therapy and I ended up losing some range of motion.  I can't move my shoulder as much without pain as I could before starting the physical therapy.  My doctor gave me a referral to a surgeon and I got an appointment.... in October.  If I continue degrading at this rate I'll barely be able to move my arm by the time I see the surgeon.  The surgeon's office said they'll get me the first cancellation they can, but if no one cancels their appointment, I might be looking at surgery in November.