If I were at work and someone told me they were feeling how I currently feel, I would put them into protective custody and refer them to mental health. I would do almost everything in my power to stop them from acting on their feelings.
There's several things to consider about a person's suicide intentions. The first is suicidal thoughts. A person imagining a better existence after they die (heaven, hell, purgatory, nothingness... an end to their pain). A person picturing their death, but not in a participatory way. Next there is suicidal ideation. Think of suicidal ideation as the beginning of making a plan. It's not imagining the result, but the method of suicide. Hanging? Gunshot to the head? Jumping off of a high ledge/roof? Pills? The penultimate step is a plan. It's knowing how one would kill themselves and moving on to the peripheral acts... giving away their things, saying goodbyes, writing letters.
I'd say I'm somewhere between ideation and plan. I know I'm there because I've been feeling more and more 'down' over the past few weeks. This morning I went though the suicide prevention screening I'd give a new patient. I don't have a specific reason to kill myself, but many people who commit or attempt suicide don't have a specific reason. I have attempted it in the past. I have a method in mind. I've begun formulating letters and figuring out to whom I'd write those letters. I even have most of the plan in mind.
