The Mind's Eye

In a recent comment, Dee told how she had went from a long haired rocker to a short haired biker (at least in looks).  This was in response to telling everyone that I used to sport a mullet.

Part of her comment got me thinking though... she asked "How in general DID you picture Damien and Dee? How do you picture other members of the other blog?"  And of course she even suggested that perhaps the answer would make for a fun post.

Well... here is my response.  I'm not sure how in depth I'll go as I'm more or less writing this on the spur of the moment, but I'll try to cover several people and explain why I picture some people as women while I picture other's as men.

I guess first thing I should do is explain how I saw Caitlyn.  At first I really didn't have an image in mind for Caitlyn.  I just pressed most of my own desires onto her looks.  She'd have red hair, a shapely figure, high cheekbones, plump lips and a cute button nose.  Beyond that, I didn't really give it much thought.

But as time wore on, I started picking out avatars and even playing role playing games based on Caitlyn.  I believe that the first real look that 'Caitlyn' had in my mind (beyond a sexy masked woman)  was Faye Reagan.

Fantasy Caitlyn?

Naturally I chose a porn star.  I mean what fun would it be to picture myself as a sexy woman if I couldn't also picture myself as a sexy woman having sex?  But the longer that I played that character, the more the character separated from what I pictured my feminine persona as.  Faye more represented my character at DX who ended up being known as 'Miss Caitlyn'.

'Reality' Caitlyn?

For my own feminine self I started to picture a more down to earth look.  No huge breasts, no studiously applied makeup, no long multihighlighted hair.  More of a girl next door.  Was she attractive?  Well sure... I don't imagine there are many people picturing themselves as unattractive.  But she wouldn't be a model or actress, and certainly not a porn star.

Humorously enough, I never pictured my feminine self as age appropriate.  I'm nearing forty years old, but I originally pictured Caitlyn as being in her early 20s.  Later when I stared picturing Caitlyn as more of a down to earth girl, I started imagining her in her early 30s.  Closer to my age, but still quite a bit younger.

I'm touched... but no not really.

I just spent about 20 minutes looking through google and bing images for 'natural redhead' hoping to find someone that looked similar to what I pictured Caitlyn as, and the closest I could get was Julianne Moore.  Yeah yeah... I know she's actually older than me, but she still has that Hollywood sheen that shaves off a few decades.

Compared to Julianne Moore, I pictured Caitlyn as having a little more weight but a very similar jaw and lip line.  Obviously Julianne has a lot of different hairstyles, but I pictured Caitlyn as having fairly straight, fairly plain hair.  I just don't imagine that she'd have put much effort into her hair.  Ponytails would have been a common style.

Dee... less bitch, more fun!

So... that's how I pictured Caitlyn.  I don't really want to show off what I really look like as Calvin, but I've been told that I kind of resemble Drew Carey.  You know... the host of the Price Is Right?  I don't see it (beyond similar glasses), but that's what people say.

So that's 'me'.  Since Dee put this silly idea into my head, let's go ahead and talk about what I pictured her as.   For a long while, I only pictured her as 'Dementia'.  A young gothy bitchy (sorry... but it's true) girl.  Her hair would constantly be in flux, but almost always un-naturally black with a hint of neon color.

Not the young and angry Dee

As I got to know Dee more, I started softening the image in my mind.  Less bitchy and more fun/funny.  Still goth or emo or whatever those kids are calling it these days (get off my lawn!).  Something else happened as I got to know Dee more.  I started picturing less Dementia all together and more Damien.  I never mentally reffered to her as Damien or even mentally thought of calling her a guy, but I always pictured a guy.  That's about the time that I started referring to her as Dee.

There is no Mila, only Jennifer

As for what 'Dee' looks like... well after several quick searches using various terms, I came upon exactly what I've pictured Dee to look like.   And oddly enough, it's Henry Rollins.  Not the young over the top angry Henry Rollins, but the older more mature, more introspective and wise Henry Rollins.  I actually saw Henry Rollins once on his talking tour where he sits down on stage and just talks.  He talked about being the young Bushido warrior type with no possessions and no direction and how as he aged he really preferred having a nice soft bed.  Yeah... that's Dee.

If Simone smoked, this would be her. 

Next up, there's Jennifer.  I'd say that if there is anybody in this community that I know best, it's Jennifer.  And while I could probably paint a fairly close picture of what Jeremy looks like, I still can't picture her as anything but Mila Kunis.  Not the overly made up, movie style, glamour photography style model... just as Mila Kunis.  I imagine that started with Jennifer having a Mila Kunis avatar and it just stuck.

Leeanna as... Leeanne

Simone is a little harder to quantify.  I don't have a steady image of her in my mind.  The one thing that always hits me is that she's glamorous  Not overly bling laden... just classically and simply Glamorous.  I've pictured her as a blonde and red head before, but brunette seems to be the hair color that sticks the most.  If I had to put her in a particular style or era, it would be as a 1950's model.

Leeanne is a little harder as she has actual photographs of herself on her blog.  She's one of the first people that I've seen post images of themselves, so it's hard to NOT picture her as that.  It's funny though... even though Leeanne presents herself as a sissy, I still picture her and imagine her as a woman.

Smitty and Rauk are two of the more unusual cases as I've never pictured them.  When I think of them, I think of them as both every day usual guys, but neither of them have inspired a real mental image of what type of guy.  Either of them could say they are a 19 year old college kid or say they are a 65 year old retired marine pilot, and I'd just nod and accept that.

I could go on and on with other cap artists, but the ones I've chosen to talk about here are the most vivid images I have of anybody in this community.  When I think of Alectra, or Kaitlyn or Kendall, or Martha, or Evie, or anybody else, I don't have a static image or even gender in mind.  I picture them how they present themselves.

If I think of anybody else, I'll add to this post.  As for now, I have to run.

Love,
C