A Year In Review - 2019

This whole ‘year in review’ idea am from Joanna on her Happiness blog.  I haven’t visited her site in quite some time (that's something I'm going to have to fix this year!) but this is an idea that I plan to do as often (annually) as I can.  It’s just a bit of a review of what happened over the last year and a list of questions.  The questions, over time, and their answers should be telling on how I’m changing.  I’m writing this without looking at the previous answers so they won’t bias my answers now.

Caitlyn Updates

So, I started writing this out as one post but realized it quickly and easily breaks down into two.  One of them is from the every day me.  The one not concerned with my sexual identity.  The one concerned with family and my car and my phone and my job.  One of them is from my femme side.  The one that IS focused on his/her sexual identity and seeks out things that enhance her femininity especially because she can't experience those feelings in the "real" world.  So, this second part is about my femme life.  The previous post is about my 'normal' life.

Calvin Updates

So, I started writing this out as one post but realized it quickly and easily breaks down into two.  One of them is from the every day me.  The one no concerned with my sexual identity.  The one concerned with family and my car and my phone and my job.  One of them is from my femme side.  The one that IS focused on his/her sexual identity and seeks out things that enhance her femininity especially because she can't experience those feelings in the "real" world.  So, this first part is about my every day life.  The next post is about my femme life.

My First World Problem

Phones.  I like cell phones.  My first was while I was in Chicago in 1998 and I'm fairly sure it was some variant of the Nokia 5110.  I don't remember much of it because one of the first bills I stopped paying in Chicago was my cell phone bill.  My roomie destroyed his phone and it would have been prohibitively expensive for him to buy a new one.  So since my service had been cut off, I gave him that phone and went phone-less for a long while thereafter.

Mom's in the Hospital

I'm not sure when I last talked about Mom's health, but it's taken a down turn these past few months.  And now in the past few days it's gotten quite severe again.  Let's start with a quick recap and then move forward.

Like My Job. Hate My Job.

Looking back, it seems I've been ignoring updating this blog about work.  It looks like my last real update was in June when I was thirteen nurses down.  Well, I'm very happy to say that we're nearly fully staffed!  And yet I still had some of my most stressful times this past few weeks.  It IS related, but damn, why does it feel like I get rested up on Vacation only to come back and have the stress backed up and waiting to catch me right back up!

Giving Thanks

Just a short Thanksgiving post.  I'm so thankful for this Thanksgiving.  I don't intend to give a long history or even a long explanation for how this holiday was better, but I feel that I have to just at least write this down while I'm still full of the happy and joyous feeling.

Writing Out a Story

If it's not obvious from the hundreds of caps, obscuras, and tiny stories I've written, I like to write.  I like to get lost in a story and let it flow out of me.  I have two problems with my writing:

First, I start a story with only the mildest of ideas where its going to start, where its going to go, or where its going to end.  Sometimes those stories fall apart but most of the time they end up far longer than I intended.  Too long for a cap and realistically too long for the osbcura I planned with only one picture.

Second, I get a grand idea.  I set up in my head where its going to start, where its going to go and at least an idea of where its going to end.  I set up characters, give them backgrounds that may or may not be used, set up a world they exist in with its own rules and regulations, and.... and then lose it before I ever write down any actual story. 

Love/Hate

I started writing this with no idea what all I was going to talk about.   I normally have an idea when I start a post and even have an idea of what I'm going to title the post plus what kind of image I want to use.  But as I started writing I knew I wanted to update you on my brother B's situation, let you know about my trip to Dallas and San Fran, tell you about talking to my friends A and E about my Queerness, and even talk about Nina on the road.  I just didn't realize that almost everything I was going to touch on would involve Love and Hate.  I Love my brother and hate his situation.  I Love my other brother while at the same time Hating him.  I Love driving and Hate that Nina isn't as comfortable.  I Love San Fran's liberal status, but Hate that they can't take care of their problems.  I Love flying.  So... let's go with Love/Hate.

The D Word

I've never personally known a couple that's gotten a divorce.  Neither of my grandparents divorced.  My parents didn't divorce.  My brother and his wife didn't divorce.  None of my friends got divorces while I knew them... although several have gone through it before I knew them.   I think that trend is going to end sooner rather than later.