Work, Pebble Steel reality, selling Fiona, Music funk, Mother's Day gift

I have a lot on my mind lately, but none of it seems worthy of it's own post... so please forgive me while I just dump out a lot of information.  Maybe after writing all of these things up I'll find a common theme.

First up is work.  I've come to a realization... I'm finally comfortable.  I can now come into work without knowing anything about how my day will go and not worry about what will happen.  Maybe I find that I have a lot of 'standard' appointments.  Annual Health Screens, Exit Interviews, New Transfers, PPD reads, Vital Checks, Scheduled Injections... nothing but standard procedural appointments.  Maybe I find that I have a bunch of 'non standard' appointments.  Call outs with patients having complaints like "my back hurts", or "I have this spot on my penis that's scaring me", or "I have a cold and need someone to tell me it's not going to kill me", or "someone took my bottom bunk away and I hate you for being part of it".  Maybe I find that I am assigned to the Med room (I've been there for the past four days), or even that I've been shuffled off for a day in 4 Block.  Or maybe I even find that I have a full day along with several 'emergency' appointments like 'chest pain', or 'seizure', or 'shortness of breath'.

I am in no way saying that I have nowhere to grow.  I'm not saying that I'm a great nurse and have nothing else to learn.  But the only feeling of 'dread' that I have when I'm driving to work is that I won't live up to my own expectations.  I honestly expected this feeling to take a year or two to develop.


Something at work that's bothering me at the moment is staff levels.  I know I've touched a bit on this in the past, but damnit... why can't we just hire up to full staff levels?  We recently hired two new LPNs, and a new RN.  One LPN went to the North Side Clinic and from everything I've heard, she's working out brilliantly.  The LPN that was hired for our clinic worked out brilliantly too... but sadly she's transferred to a different facility.  Like me, she lives about an hour's drive away from our facility... unlike me she drives a Chrysler 300 and din't appropriately budget for how much gas she would be purchasing.  Where I spend about $30 or $40 a week on gas (and budgeted for up to $100 a week), she was spending about $100 a week.

She had mentioned to our supervisor that it was going to be an issue and since our supervisor is a really good person, she helped her transfer into a facility far closer to her.  She was at our facility for about five weeks... four of which was orientation.  Not having that LPN position means that one of our med rooms has no regular staff on a nightly basis.  There IS a regular LPN there for the morning shift, but sadly he isn't the type to really take the bull by the horns and 'own' the room.  He gets his job done and does it fairly well, but the med room really needs someone to not only do their job but ensure that anyone stepping in for a shift can do their job and not screw anything up.  Thankfully with the nurse working out on the North Side, we are getting one of our LPNs back (she was transferred to the North side to help out 12 weeks ago).

The RN... well that isn't going so well.  I've only met him on a handful of occasions.  He seems nice enough and he certainly knows his nursing skills... but I'm afraid that he isn't a good fit for a correctional facility.  The common theme I see in good nurses at our facility is someone that can stand up and tell the truth.  I hate to generalize, but the vast majority of our patients do not require any treatment.  They are coming to the health center with an agenda in mind.  Maybe they want drugs.  Maybe they want special treatment like special shoes or a bottom bunk.  Maybe they just want attention.  At the end of the day our job as correctional facility employees is to teach them that they can't con the system.  Yes, we have to provide good nursing care and I would never advocate for ignoring that duty... but direct nursing care is only about 30% of the job.

It doesn't help that this RN has two direct problems.  First, he's not a natural English speaker.  Don't get me wrong, he speaks fluent English and doesn't struggle for words or phrasing... but he has a THICK eastern European accent.  At the best of times he can be hard to understand... and we don't always work in the best of times.  Second... he's computer naive.  I've seen him assess, diagnose, and treat a complex problem without any hesitation.  In that regard he's a FAR better nurse than I am.  But where I would have taken about 15 minutes to document what I (he) did, it took him the better part of an hour.  It wasn't that he didn't know what needed to be documented, he just is really bad at working a computer.  It certainly doesn't help that the software we use isn't intuitive at ALL.  So it's a very steep learning curve.  

He's been on orientation for about eight weeks now and isn't done yet.  The new schedule has him working in 4 and 5 block for the next six weeks. For comparison's sake; as a brand new nurse I was on orientation for about six weeks.  I feel bad for him, but at the same time (and I hate admitting this) I feel a little put off by it.  He was hired to be the fourth RN on the second shift on the South Side.  That's my shift and my location.  By not having that fourth RN and by the orther RNs going to 12 hour shifts, I am working alone more and more.  Add in the lack of the 2nd LPN and it pushes me into the med room while other RNs are brought in on overtime to cover the clinic.

Another thing at work that's bothering me is the change that the 12 hour schedules has wrought.  Even with me returning to 8 hour shifts (and I LOVE my 8 hour shifts!), it's still a major shake up.  Before, there was a real 'team' environment.  The two other RNs, the two LPNs, and myself were all members of the team.  We worked well together always helping each other out and always focused on getting all of our various tasks done.  At the minimum, I was working with two of those four people.  Most of the time I was working with three of them.  And yes, there were days when all five of us were working together.  In the 12 weeks since moving to the 12 hour shifts, I've worked with each of the RNs a handful of times.  I've worked with one of the LPNs on a fairly regular basis, while the other LPN was shifted to the North Side.

The people I work with most often are from the morning shift as their schedule now extends four hours into mine.  I'm not going to say that I don't like or respect these nurses... but damnit they are NOT members of my team.  They focus on working out their tasks and have no incentive to offer help.  If asked, they will step up and assist, but it's clear that they'd rather sit and do nothing rather than offer to help on their own.  They are all more experienced nurses and feel it necessary to 'guide' us less experienced nurses.  At face value that's something that I really appreciate... but sadly most of their 'guidance' is to not trust the patients.  To not rely on our nursing skills, and instead just assume that they are trying to con us.  To deny care as a first resort and only offer care when it's overtly obviously needed.   I DO NOT agree with that.  I don't care that I'm providing care to convicted felons.  I don't care that most of my patients have an agenda that doesn't involve nursing care.  You know why I don't care about those things?  Because part of being a nurse is assessing your patient.  If you are good at that you'll see through most plots and give them all the care that they deserve.  Yes, a few well placed schemes will get through and I'll 'help' one of them get something that they don't deserve... but I'd FAR rather do that than deny well deserved care to someone who truly needs it.

So... my team is gone.  The replacement people I'm working with aren't all that interested in being a team, nor all that interested in being a good nurse first and a good correctional employee second.  Combine that with the fact that I'm now comfortable with my job and....

I'm considering transferring.

Don't get me wrong... I like where I work and who I work with.  I even like who I work for (both my supervisor and my supervisor's supervisor are great people!).  But if all things are equal, I can make more money and have more opportunities for growth if I worked in my hometown instead of driving 45 miles away.  I don't know if I've shared this or not, but there is a correctional facility in the town that I live in.  In fact it used to be one of the largest prisons in the world.

In the late 90s, it was split into four separate facilities.  Two are standard correctional facilities like the one I work in.  Various levels of offenders with varying level's of health care needs.  One is a guidance center.  It's the first place all inmates in the state goes to.  There, they are evaluated and placed into a long term facility (like the one I currently work at).  The other portion is the prison's hospital.  It's like many other hospitals in that they perform surgeries and other tasks that just aren't possible at regular correctional facilities (think of things like offering chemo therapy, utilizing IVs, performing oral surgeries, dialysis...).

The gas spent, along with the wear and tear on Fiona, would be vastly reduced by working closer to home.  My day's would be reduced from just over 10 hours when I include drive time to just over 8 (they are literally about a 10 minute drive away from my home).  I could work in a similar setting, a short term setting (the guidance center), or even a hospital setting.

Above and beyond saving money spent on Fiona, I'll actually make more money.  Right now I'm classified as an RN 11.  I have no idea why the scale starts at 11, but it basically means a nurse hired on with no experience.   If I had come to the state with a year's experience, I'd be an RN 12.  An RN 12's pay scale starts where the RN 11's pay scale ends... and I'm already at the top of the RN 11 pay scale.  I can expect to get cost of living increases in pay and a few union contract raises.... but my pay scale will not raise in my current position.   There's an RN that I work with that has been with the state for just over two years now.  Like me he was hired in as a new nurse... an RN 11.  He's still classified as that.  Another nurse I work with was hired in as an RN 11, but had to leave after several months on the job.  She was hired back in, but only after earning a years worth of experience.... she's now an RN 12.  It doesn't make sense, but the RN with the more experience is still classified the same as me, while the younger less experienced nurse is classified 'above' him.

If I hold off until mid July (earning a year's worth of experience) and transfer into one of the facilities close by, I'd be hired in as an RN 12.  Maybe I wouldn't make more money to start, but I would have a higher ceiling for annual raises.

And it's not as though I suspect that my supervisors would stand in my way.  They just helped a newly hired LPN transfer to another facility even when technically a state employee isn't supposed to transfer when they have less than a year of experience.  My supervisor's have shown over and over that they really care for those under their supervision and will help them even when it doesn't help themselves.  But of course... that's a reason to stay.  If I move to another facility, I open myself up to the possibility of getting a supervisor that doesn't give a damn about me, my career, or my license.

Anywho... it's something to consider.  I won't make a move until July at the soonest.



So I finally got my Pebble Steel watch.  I've been wearing it for close to three weeks now and my review is... mixed.

Let's talk style first.   Yes, it's a metal watch which makes it (at least in my eyes) eminently better than a plastic watch.  But I wasn't coming from a plastic watch.  It's bigger (thicker and a bigger face) than my previous Seiko.  At the same time it's much lighter.  It's kind of hard to describe the style... it's both more understated and more obvious than my previous watch.  Where my old watch was polished and shiny, this one is more matte and subdued.  But because of it's size, it's more of a presence on my wrist.  I thought that with the multiple faces that I could get something of a 'classical' look to it... but there is just no denying that it's digital.  The best classically styled watch faces never give you the impression that this is a normal 'hands on face' watch.   It's always screaming that it's a digital facsimile of a 'hands on face' watch.

When I saw photos of the watch, I just assumed that the screen blended in with the black edge of the face.  I knew that the screen didn't take up the entire face... but I really thought that you wouldn't see the difference if the base of the face was black.  Here's what I thought I would get:

Notice, that you can't see where the screen ends and the 'border begins.  Instead, you KNOW where the screen ends:

Now when the light is JUST right, it can look like the top picture.  Most of the time it looks like the bottom one.

The band is... well it's kinda plain.  It works well enough, but it really doesn't do anything other than be a metal band.  Better than a leather or plastic band, but not as good as my previous watch band.  Frustratingly Pebble didn't utilize a standard style band.  Instead it's a proprietary design.  Maybe some company will come out with a better band, but I doubt it.  There just aren't that many Pebble Steel's out on the market, so why bother with what I imagine would be an expensive process to develop a good stylish steel band for such a small potential audience.

So in the sense of style, this is not as good as my previous watch.  It's good and I'll still wear it, but it's just not AS good.

Functionality.  I'm going to break this into two areas.  First, functionality as a watch.   In this regard it's fabulous!  At work I can change it up to one of several large font 24 hour display watches.  I just started using a new one that displays side to side instead of top to bottom:

I photoshopped it so that you could roughly see what it looks like.  I like it at work because the 24 hour display is easy to read, it has a running seconds counter, shows the date (the version I have replaced the 'month' number with the shortened day of the week), and it has a large battery display.  I don't like the 'connected' icon in the upper right corner as I can't have my phone with me at work so it's always 'disconnected'.  And while the novelty of having the watch face turned 90 degrees is fine... it might wear thin later on.

I  have another face that displays the 24 hour time in a very large font which is great at work, but it doesn't have a working seconds display.  Sadly, when I read someones pulse or count their breaths per minute, I NEED a seconds display.

The face that I use most often when not at work is actually a complete departure from a normal watch.  It not only displays the time via text, it does so in the fuzzy logic way that most of us read time.  Think of it... how often do we look at our watch and say 'Oh look, it's One O Two'.  Nope... we say to ourselves 'Oh look, it's One O Clock... or Five After One, or Half Past One...'  This watch face does just that:

The last part to talk about as a watch is back light.  This is after all a digital watch.  Thankfully it has an accelerator built in and the designers used it brilliantly.  If it's too dark to read the watch face, all I have to do is flick my wrist back and forth and it lights up for a few seconds.  Brilliant. The only downside is that the motion to light up the back-light is the same motion I use to readjust where the watch is sitting on my wrist.  Not exactly a deal breaker, but a little annoying while driving home at night.  

So, functionality as a time piece is near perfection.  I can be technical while at work, while having fun outside of work and always knowing what time it is.

Functionality as a smartwatch.  This one is a little harder to define.  I should say that I don't get a lot of phone calls or texts.  That's where a smartwatch really shines.  Say you're walking around and get a text.  Normally  you pull out your  phone, flick it on, see who texted you, realize that you want to ignore it, flick the phone off, and put the phone back where it was (in my case in a holster hooked to my pants pocket).  With the pebble if I get a text, I feel it vibrate on my wrist, tilt my wrist toward my eyes, and read the text.  If I want to ignore it, a quick press of the button will display the watch face again (or I can do nothing and the watch face will come back after sixty seconds).  If I want to respond, I can then pull out my phone.  There is even an app for the watch to reply with predefined text messages (think of texts like "yes", "no", "Busy. I'll call you later", or stuff like that).

The same motions apply to caller ID.  When my phone starts to ring I can look at my watch and determine if I'm going to take the call or not.  If I'm not, I can send the caller to voicemail with a touch of the watches button.  I can even answer the call from the watch... but then I have to quickly grab the phone as the watch has no microphone or speaker.

I think of those two things as the basics of any smartwach, and in both of those instances the Pebble works just fine.  I don't use the phone much though, so I don't use these functions that much either.

The watch can do other things with the phone hooked up to it.  I get a vibration on my wrist for every email my phone gathers for me, every facebook update, and every weather warning.  More or less any update my phone has, my watch lets me know about.   It can go a little further too... many watch faces include current weather information on it, you can display maps on your wrist from goggle maps including walking navigation), check in with four square, look up nearby restaurants with yelp, and many other things.

But if I'm honest, I didn't get this watch for those things.  They may be nice, and I may find a way to use them... but I just honestly don't go out all that often.  I wear my watch mostly at work, and at work I can't have my phone.  So I'm kind of limited to apps that don't use the phone.  And here's the rub... those apps only run when they are displayed.  For instance, there is a timer function that's really nice.  Say I need to check up on an inmate in 15 minutes or take another set of vitals in 20 minutes; I can set the timer up and it will buzz on my wrist when the time is up.  But while the timer is running, I no longer have a watch on my wrist as it doesn't display the current time.  If I got back to a watch face, the app is turned off and won't vibrate me at any time.

The only app that I've found anywhere near useful is Evernote.  I already use Evernote on my computer, my phone and my tablet.  It's a great way to jot down or read notes regardless of where I am or what device I'm using.  It's all stored on the cloud.  Well the Evernote app on the watch doesn't let me write notes (no keyboard and only four buttons total), but it does let me read them.  So say before I got out shopping, I put my list into Evernote.  Then while I'm out I can bring up the watch app and read it from there... I never have to awkwardly pull my phone out to see that I need celery in addition to the carrots and bread.

So as a smart watch I have to give it a.... meh.  It's nice and kinda geeky/cool... but I would never pay that money for that functionality.  Nor would I settle on the slight lack of style to gain that functionality.

So... overall I am happy with the watch.  Maybe if I can find a better watch band I'll be a little happier.  It's fairly stylish, a wonderful time piece, and a slightly useful link to my phone.


I got a weird letter in the mail the other day.  It seems that a local dealer has a customer that wants to buy my car.  Yup... Fiona has an admirer.  The weird thing is that I didn't get the letter directly from the local dealership.... instead it's a print out of an email that he sent to someone named 'Chris'.  As it's a printout, I don't have Chris' email address, and the letter came with no return address... therefore have no idea who HE is.  The first part of the letter says that the dealer did a records search in the "Ford Owner's Database" and that he has a buyer for my car.  He says that he can offer me up to 110% of the black book values for my car, will offer me additional incentives towards a new vehicle purchase and even throw in an oil change whether I sell him my car or not.  He says that he has a customer that is interested in my car and would like to complete the sale by May 24th if at all possible.

Now at first I thought this was a little too hinky.  I mean, if he could find my car in the Ford Owner's Database, couldn't he also get my address?  And who exactly is this mysterious and unnamed 'Chris'?  But through an anonymous phone call I found out that the his name and title at the bottom of the email checks out... he IS the general manager of the dealership.  I didn't call the phone number he provided thinking it may be part of a scam... I just called the phone number listed on the dealership's web site and asked for this guy.  Once he picked up, I hung up.

So at the minimum, this is legitimately from the local dealership and not some oddball scam.  It MAY be some sales scam... get me in to buy my car and offer me shit terms on one of their cars.  But at the minimum it's not some African Lottery Scam.

It did get me to thinking about what car could pry me out of Fiona.  I checked their site to see what they had on their lot, and the only things that interest me at all are a 2014 Ford Focus Titanium, and a 2014 Ford Fiesta Titanium... both in black.  The Fiesta might get me a scant few more MPG (nothing to sneeze at when I'm putting almost 100 miles a day on it!), but it IS smaller.  I fit fine in Fiona, but when I'm wearing my winter coat, there isn't much room for anything else.  The Focus is a nice thought... especially if I could get them to match my original loan.  And you know, if I financed through them, that't not outside the realm of possibilities.  More or less I would have the same car payment and be driving a brand new Focus with every feature that mine currently has.

But it would be black.

Yes, I would have the bumper to bumper warranty for 36,000 miles (probably between 12 and 18 months), but after that advantage is gone... I'd have a black Ford Focus.  Not my 'pretty' Yellow Blaze.  So after going back and forth and back and forth and back and forth... I decided not even to question  them.  They have nothing that I want more than I want Fiona.  Even thinking outside of the box, I'm not sure that I'd even consider a Veloster.  Yes, Fiona does have her problems, but I do really love her.  I know her inside and out  now.



So I've been in kind of a music slump for a few months.  I did get a couple new songs:

Day of Anger by Riz Ortolani

Unbelievers by Vampire Weekend

Never Gonna Wake Up by Rick Roll Astley himself and Avicii

Coming of Age by Foster the People

Sadly none of these has really caught my interest.  They were all nice when I got them, but I actually grew out of them before I even got them onto the iPod.  At work I've been using iHeart Radio to get some real tunes, but I swear I'm sick and tire of all the new Alternative music.  If I hear Bastille's Pompeii one more time I may just gouge out my own ears with a spoon.  So in the last week or so I've given up on finding 'new' music to listen to and made some custom stations based on early to mid 90s grunge.  Nirvana, Stone Temple Pilots, Alice in Chains, Green Day... that kind of stuff.  And while I can listen to this for hours on end without tiring of the songs, I'm no longer exposing myself to 'new' music.

Sigh.



Lesson Learned.   Never go into Kay Jewlers, pick out a fairly nice looking bracelet and don't ask about the price before getting to the register.   When I got my Pebble Steel, it came with the leather band on it.  It looked good enough, but with as often as I wash my hands, I didn't want to screw up the leather... so I took it to the nearby Kay's and had them change it out for the metal band.  While there I talked to the sales guy about getting my mom something for Mother's Day.  I mentioned that my father used to get her jewlery and since he's passed away she hasn't gotten anything new.  Now she doesn't have much 'space' for jewelery... she has all of her fingers decked out in rings, she has a couple of necklaces that she flips between, and she h as her watch that she's worn for 20 years or so.

Really that only leaves a bracelet as an option.  While the sales guy thought about it, I mentioned that one piece of jewelery that she's missed is her old 'family' ring.  It's something that we all went into together to get her (I think Dad paid about $100, while my brothers and I each pitched in like $10... but hey it was a family gift!).  It was a 'family' ring because it had both my father's and my mother's birth stones, as well as small stones representing my brothers and I.  My mom loved it, but at $110, it wasn't built to last.  Eventually my brother's stone fell out (kind of telling as he's the only one not living at home nay longer!), and my mom stopped wearing it.

The salesman's eyes just lit up.  He walked me over to their Pandora counter and showed me  how they could make something in that same style using their charms.  I liked the idea and figured that since there were no real jewels on it (unlike the ring which had honest to go jewels for my Mom and Dad's birth stones.... mine and the bros were fakes), that it couldn't possibly cost all that much.  So we picked out big charms in our birthstone colors to represent my brothers and I, an anchor charm to represent Dad (he was a navy man afterall!), and a heart with 'MOM' written on the inside.  We had to get to 'anchor' charms to keep them all from falling off, and of course we had to get a bracelet as well.   All the while I never even looked at price.  Once we sauntered up to the register I figured it might be around $150.

Nope.

$364

Ouch.   Yes, I had the money and yes, I'm happy to spend it on something that I genuinely believe Mom will love... but DAMN!


Well... I didn't find a common theme.  Or maybe.... yeah, I guess I did.  Even the things keeping me down; problems at work, dissatisfaction with a new watch and music, overspending for Mother's Day.... they're not nearly as bad as the things that were keeping me down a year ago.  I'd have to say that even after all this time, I'm still happy.

I'm still happy!