Lemme start by saying that I feel that all I'm doing right now is waiting.... waiting for the job, waiting to feel better, waiting for something to happen, waiting for my family to be better, waiting for my friends to be better... just waiting. I was waiting to make a post here because I wanted it to be more than that. I held off on updating my writing, updating an update post, updating my job search, and updating my keyboard, all of which has been update worthy... but I was waiting. That's why it's been almost a month. Well, enough of that. Here's an update post at least.
Health
I had my return visit with the sleep doctor. At the time of the visit I wanted to go and be as healthy as I could. I've seen the objective numbers and know that I have severe sleep apnea and honestly should do something about it. I didn't tolerate the CPAP but that doesn't mean there isn't anything else. The doc and I talked and he suggested a BiPAP. Basically a CPAP puts a constant flow of air into your mouth/nose whether you're breathing in or not. A BiPAP will blow harder when you're inhaling and blow less or even none when you're exhaling. In theory, that should work better for me. Once I showed interest in that, he suggested I come in for another sleep test so that they could alter the pressure during the test and see how I reacted to it. Basically give it the best chance of success.
He set it so that I'd get a call to schedule the sleep test. A few days later they called while I was driving, so I asked if I could call them back. At that time, I probably would have scheduled the test, but I promptly forgot about the call and never called them back. A week later I went through my finances and found ANOTHER bill from the sleep doc. That made me go back and calculate what all I paid for the previous sleep tests and treatment. It came up to just over $1000. And while the insurance provided discounts, they didn't put out a single cent.
Understand, I went to the sleep doc on the recommendation of my neurologist to see if sleeping issues were to blame for my constant headaches. They aren't. I had decent results from the CPAP, getting my sleep apnea down to normal levels, but my headaches continued unaltered. On the one hand, the reason I went to the doctor has been answered and resolved. No reason for further treatment. On the other hand, going to the doc has led to them finding a problem that I didn't know I had (or at least I didn't know was as severe), so I SHOULD continue to seek treatment.
Well, I'm not working and insurance is pissing me off and finances are becoming an issue... you guessed it, once they called back to set up the appointment, I told them I was no longer interested. I even got a call back later saying that the doc could sign me up for a 'free' BiPAP, but I know damned well that paying for the equipment was only a small part of the finances so I still refused.
I had a follow up visit with my second neurologist. He was happy to hear that my migraines are still improving. My new drug treatment, Symbravo, didn't do a thing so we stopped that trial. Instead he gave me some Zavpret to try. It's a nasal spray that's very similar to Nurtec but is supposed to work better and faster. I'll try it, but haven't' had a migraine to try it on since that visit.
Mental health is going fine. My anxiety about not working is getting worse and it's in fact turning into anger. But once I sit back and force myself to think it through, I can calm it back down. I'll talk more about the actual job search later as it's just a problem and not the mental health issue. Otherwise I'm fine.
Finances
It turns out that I couldn't send the payment into my LTD company, so I had to actually send in a paper check via US Mail. Fuck that noise. I made sure to get a certified check from my credit union for at least some stability. I put it in the mail a couple weeks back and that part of my life should be done now.
I have just under $8,000 in my savings right now. Take out about $2.000 for the warranty on B's car and that leaves me just under $6,000. That's enough for about eight weeks or two months without any further income. My 401k has just over $26,000 in it which means at least $10,000 if I pulled it out as cash. That would be plenty for another few months. So, I'm good for finances for awhile. Hopefully the state job will come through though as I can now see the end of the money and that does NOT help the anxiety.
Family/Friends
So I'm swinging back and forth between wanting to be alone and wanting to be with others. I was thinking about driving down to Dallas again and realized that it was a kind of now or never issue. This is built up on the assumption that I'll get a job sooner rather than later and will be working in December.
So the weekend that I thought about it would have been perfect. The next weekend was A & J's wedding anniversary, so i figured they'd have plans for that. The next two weekends I have doctor's appointments on Monday and Tuesday so I couldn't be there for the weekend and back home in time for my appointments. The following weekend is just before Thanksgiving where I'd likely be getting ready for the holiday with Mom (and A&J would be getting ready for their own family's turkey day), and then there's Thanksgiving weekend (with the Michigan and Ohio State game where I WILL be watching that with my brother B). Then we're into December.
So, I texted A and asked if he'd mind a trip from me that weekend. He replied back the next day and said he'd love that, but he was flying out on Sunday for work in Cali. I figured that was that as A didn't respond with a 'but this other weekend would work great' or anything like that.
Then a couple days later he responded that 'I knew him and J' and that they don't make plans and even if they did, I was a part of their anniversary anyway. If you don't remember, I officiated their wedding so yes, I'm technically a part of their wedding. We went back and forth a bit with me reiterating that I didn't want to interrupt any plans or even get in the way of them celebrating their anniversary, but he assured me they didn't have any plans and would love to have me down. He even added that he could take the Friday off, Halloween, so we'd have an extra day.
Sweet, so I'm heading down to Dallas on Wednesday the 29th and will be back home on the evening of November the 4th. I even found out that this is A & J's 17th anniversary which is a 'furniture' anniversary. If I'm going to be there for that, I figured I should get an appropriate gift so I found a sweet end table that has a cut out of the football stadium from the University they both attended (and met at). As it would arrive here on the day I was leaving, I went ahead and shipped it to their house.
And just for shits and giggles, I'm planning on heading down through Arkansas this time as its been awhile since I've driven that way.
Family is mostly fine. B is still dealing with his anxiety/panic but it seems to be smoothing out a bit. R has all but adopted a family of feral cats. I'm wondering if this is just his natural desire to have a pet or is this more age related, as in when we get older we tend to focus on taking care of future generations. R, like me, isn't likely to have children so maybe he needs an outlet for his caring.
Entertainment
I finished Daredevil reborn and it was a good solid series. It left off on a cliff hanger of sorts so it's clearly getting ready for season 2. I also heard that season 2 as well as a Punisher special will lead directly into the upcoming Spiderman movie.
I'm not exactly sure where it came in, but I watched X-Men '97. The new animated series that picked up and was a continuation of the 1990's X-Men cartoon show. It was great. Seriously. A perfect mix between childhood memories and adult themed emotionally charged episodes. I can't wait for the next season.
Since I finished Daredevil Reborn I haven't picked up a new series and have instead just been bouncing about on various movies. For newer movies and not just re-watches of movies I've seen dozens of times, I watched F1 with Brad Pitt. It was great. A great racing movie. I watched The Fantastic Four and it was... fine. The more I think about it, it was just fine. Not great, but I'm not itching to re-watch it. I got Ballerina finally, the new 'John Wick' movie and like all the John Wick sequels, it's good and has one scene that knocks it out of the park. I won't ruin it for anyone, but the flamethrower fight scene is just epic! I got The Long Walk as soon as it was out on premium video on demand and it's good. Highly recommend if you're a Stephen King fan as it's a faithful adaptation, but it's just a solid movie if you're not a Stephen King fan. Good, good acting, good story... nothing knocks it out of the park though.
My last purchase has been the Dirty Harry movies. Dirty Harry, Magnum Force, The Enforcer, Sudden Impact, and The Dead Pool. I've watched the first three and can easily see why they're held up so highly by movie fans. These movies helped, if not outright, make the gritty cop drama with an anti-hero cop subject. I've heard that the last two movies, both made in the 80s, are let downs compared to the first three, but I'll make my own judgement. Right now I can recommend any of the first three so long as you like gritty cop movies and aren't afraid of some cringe 1970s things (SEXISM and RACISM!!!).
Also, last night I watched A House Of Dynamite on Netflix. It's a movie from Kathryn Bigelow who made Hurt Locker and Zero Dark Thirty. The premise of the movie is this; They see a nuclear ICBM coming toward America. It's going to hit the continental United States in 20 minutes. Go! The film is just about as perfect as one could want. Great cast, great acting, great music, great cinematography, great build up, great stress.... it was GREAT. I can see why they put it out in theaters for a limited run as this should whole heartedly win awards. I was literally on the edge of my seat several times. It's the first movie in a long LONG time that I can recommend to EVERYBODY.
I'm still trying to find the next television series to sink my teeth into. I'll probably cue up the next three or five and then do a random number selection on which one. Or maybe, since I have like 35 series on my list that I haven't started and 15 series that I have at least one new season to watch, I might go through all of them that are freely available. Pick with a coin toss either continue or start new, and then random number generate between the 15 or 35. That actually sounds appealing... let fate decide.
New Tech
I got my new phone. I'll eventually write up a post about that specifically. The Pixel 10 Pro Fold. So far, it's all good. I just can't wait until I get the leather skin for it and that doesn't ship until November. In the meantime, since its so slippery without the skin, I have a case on it and... meh, the case bothers me.
I also have a new keyboard, but I'll update that below.
No new word on the Kindle Scribe Colorsoft as it's still not available for purchase.
Writing
I'm all but done with the second act of You're Not The Boss Of Me and am just starting the next act, which will be about twice as long as what I've written so far. It's seriously the meat of the story. If that holds true, this will end up being almost as long as Gamer Gurl. Both parts. It'll be the longest single story I've written.
I'll make a post about writing the story all itself later as I should discuss some things I'm doing differently.
Michigan Football
Whelp, Michigan lost to USC. Dropped them out of the poll. They followed that up with a win against Washington that got them back into the poll and then a win over rival Michigan State.
I'd say we're far enough into the season to get a good gauge on the team. Bryce, the freshman phenom quarterback is... well, he's a very good Freshman. He makes freshman mistakes, but not a lot of them. he has the ability to really throw the ball accurately and with a lot of distance and power. All of those features need just some polish and practice and he'll get better. His leadership is good and the team seems to respect him. He's even able to make the mistakes and shake them off as a good quarterback and leader should.
What he really needs is receivers. All of our receivers have problems. Many are freshman and will get better, but some just simply are showing only one of the many skills needed. They can run and avoid contact, but they can't catch. They can catch, but they can't run fast after they do. They can catch and run, but can't get out of coverage so its no use to throw to them. Or they can do those things but can't block which all receivers need to be able to do.
Our running backs are very good. Not elite, but Justice Haynes was leading the FBS in yards before he was injured and had to drop out for a game. They'll do just fine and keep defenses honest by giving Bryce some room to shoot it out. Even when the box is crowded, our backs can get a few yards and if they make one break they can get a good 10 or 20 yards.
Our O line is good but inconsistent. Our D line is good but inconsistent. Those especially hurt as they've been keystones of our teams for the past four years. They're the reason we were so good last year without a quarterback to speak of. Our cornerbacks, linebackers and the rest of the D is good. Not great, but good. They'll keep us in games and we won't have to just outscore anybody.
Basically, I think Michigan is good enough to get into the playoff but only if they climb high enough in the rankings. They're honestly grouped among a bunch of teams that are also just as good. For their remaining games, they'll crush Purdue this week, have a bye week, beat Northwestern. Maryland is being inconsistent so they might prove a good game, but most likely will be a win even if they fully show up. And then it's Ohio State. Ohio looks like a complete team and one of the best in all of college football. But Ohio State gets credit over Michigan when they can prove it. Last year they were head and shoulders better than Michigan and they still lost. At home! Now they play in the Big House and they'll again be playing for placement in the B1G championship game and the playoff, where Michigan MIGHT be playing to get into the playoff but won't likely get into the championship game. Michigan can play loose with house money against their rival while Ohio will be tight and nervous again..
This also seems to be the season of firing good but not great coaches. Penn State, Florida, UCLA, Stanford, Va Tech, Oklahoma State, Arkansas, and as of last night LSU are all open. And it's only late October! Michigan State, Florida State, Wisconsin, Mississippi State, Kentucky, North Carolina, North Carolina State, and even South Carolina all have had rumblings of firing their coaches. Yikes!!! That's a LOT of openings for elite coaches and there just aren't that many out there. Especially since Indiana's new phenom coach, Cignetti, signed a monster contract to stay at Indiana. It's going to be an interesting coaching carousel season!
Computer Issues
The computer is humming along fine. A couple more 'updates' with this and I'll take this section out of the every update update.
Job Search
I still haven't heard anything. On the way out of the Interview the HUM told me that she had been trying to hire a previous nurse (she was an LPN that left her job to get an RN degree and wants to return as an RN), and that it was a pain to do a re-hire as it takes so long. She even mentioned that it was taking over a month.
Now that kind of tracks. If they are focused on hiring me and it's going through a similar re-hire process, it's not that I haven't heard anything in a month. It's that its ONLY been a month. As a rule, once they offer the job to a candidate, or even close it without hiring a candidate, they have to contact all the people that they interviewed. So I'm not worried that they hired someone else and just didn't let me know. That would be a problem on their end. Instead, it sounds more like they ARE hiring me. Or at least trying to hire me. That would also make sense as to why I haven't been contacted by the recruiter. The HR team would see that I'm in the process of being hired, so why bother setting up interviews that I'll likely be unable to take?
It's still maddening to just sit here and wait. I joked that I'd probably have to work Thanksgiving as low man on the totem pole and might even have to work that weekend and miss the Michigan Ohio State game... but now, even if they called tomorrow and hired me, I would barely be working and certainly not out of training before then. I mean, even if they offered to just drop me into work because I have all this experience, I couldn't reasonably do that. I've been out of work of all types for over two years now, out of correctional nursing for an additional year and a half since I was at the state mental health hospital, and I'm at least 6 years out of being a floor nurse full time. So yea, I'd need at least a few weeks of re-training. So that means I might not be working full time by the Christmas holidays! Jeez.
Car Shopping
I'm keeping this section in until we get the car warranty or at least decide to NOT get it. We haven't had the inspection yet, so nothing new to report.
Keyboard
I wrote up an update to the keyboard, but it was long enough and detailed enough that I decided to cut it out and make it it's own post, so that will be up shortly. It SHOULD be the last 'update' on my keyboard. Well shit, no, the colored keys will be the last update. Maybe another update. Stay tuned!
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