I've been working in 5 block a lot lately. More or less they don't have a regular person for the afternoon shift, so two nurses along with me are sharing it.
I got quite the nasty gram (an email) from the regular nurse on how I had screwed up several things lately. Evidently I had processed some orders incorrectly, I had ordered some meds incorrectly, I had notified the psychiatrist about an issue incorrectly, and I had documented something incorrectly.
Overall I was quite upset. I hadn't been trained on how to do any of these things in 5 Block, and had simply done them how we do them over on the South.
I thought I had made it clear in a meeting we had a week ago that I hadn't been really trained out in 5. Sure, I had my orientation out there about 18 months ago. And sure, I had worked out there for many of the past weekends and the occasional weekday. But in between that original orientation and now, there have been major changes in how 5 block operates.
One of the regular nurses who worked out there had retired. They had replaced him with another nurse, and she 'oriented' me when I started working there on a semi regular basis, but she has also left. I put that in air quotes because she knew that I would never be a regular nurse out there. I would mainly work on weekends, and the occasional week day. And if that remained true, then her orientation method would work just fine. She set me up to be the 'replacement' nurse. I'd do all the tasks that I absolutely had to do (the med pass, the call outs, the urgents), but none of the stuff that could be held off for a day (making apts for the doc, ordering meds, processing orders/meds...).
So when we had that meeting a week or so ago, I was mainly silent. They were discussing those very things that had been skipped over. When the regular nurse explained where to put the orders ("on the clipboard"), I had to admit that I had no idea what she was talking about. She quickly went over it again, and then left. Leaving me even more confused than before.
So yesterday, when I got the nasty gram I made up my reply. I laid out in clear language that I had not been orientated on how these processes worked in 5 block and that if they wanted me to do them correctly, that they would have to train me on them.
After sending that email, the supervisor came by. She was just dropping off some meds, but I went ahead and took the initiative to tell her what had been going on. She was surprised at my admission, as she had assumed I was fully oriented and trained. She had never had a complaint about me and was surprised.
"You've been doing such a good job out here!"
Yesterday was my last day out there for awhile. For the next week, I'll be back in the south clinic. It will be arranged that the regular nurse will take an hour or so on my next day back to fully orient me.
So problem solved. I'll get the training I need. But this whole episode really made me sit back and think. I still consider myself a new nurse. I've only been working as a nurse for 18 months. Yes... I'm not a young nurse and I carry a certain level of confidence. But to me, that confidence is a requirement for the job. In order to help someone heal, they have to believe that you know what you are doing. It doesn't matter if I'm screaming on the inside, I have to have a calm and calming expression and air to my actions.
But maybe that's not a requirement. Maybe that's something that only more experienced nurses demonstrate. We've had several new hires since I was brought on. Four of them have been like me... new nurses in their first job. One has been treated like me... given more and more responsibility and leaned upon as a vital member of the team. The other three are treated with kid gloves.
I guess I expected to be treated the same way... instead they are more often assuming that I know what I'm doing. Yes... most of the time they are correct. I DO know what I'm doing.
I guess what I'm trying to say is this; I'm well respected by both my peers and my supervisors. In my opinion, I haven't yet earned that level of respect, but since I have it I will strive to do better and better.
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