Autumnal Musak

I'd love to say that since the last time I posted about my music I've gathered up an amazing collection of songs that will blow your heart away.

I mean... it's been since October 8th!  Surely in 102 days I can come up with something grand, or spectacular or wonderful!  Right?

Umm...  no.  Unfortunatly including the three songs that I just now purchased, I have only accumulated 10 new songs.  And one of those is a Christmas song.

It's just been a dry few months for me and music.  I thought starting the new job in November would be a boon to my music collection.  A whole new crew of co-workers to bounce music ideas off of, several radio stations including a 'Classic' rock station that also plays new rock music.

But I swear, I think I ended up in some kind of music purgatory at work.  The first problem is that a majority (maybe 60%?) of the nurses there prefer to have NO music playing at all.  NONE!  Many of those nurses are at least on the early shift, so by 3pm they're all but cleared out.  But the nurses that remain for the rest of my shift?  There's the nurse that prefers christian music.  I have no problem with Christianity, but just as I don't look to the Vatican to make a good dramatic movie, I don't look to the Christian media companies to put out good music.  Even if I could get past the singular nature of the music subjects (there's the one about praising God, and then the one about how we're all horrible people until we take God into our hearts... that's it.  Variations on those two subjects.)  their music tends to focus on hearing the message.  Meaning that it's clearly spoken lyrics with some sort of musical accompanyment.  It's not about good music, it's about spreading a message.  I'm sure I said this before, but I look at the singer as merely one piece of the music and it shouldn't be the sole focal point.

Time - Over and Annual

So the new job has a couple new wrinkles when compared to my old job.  These are neither good nor bad in and of themselves... they just, Are.  The first is overtime.  I'm going to go ahead and include Holiday Pay in this category.  To put it bluntly, there is none.  At the old job there was a few ways to get overtime and almost every single pay period included at least SOME overtime.  I could have had a busy day and not finished my documentation until 10 minutes after my scheduled end time.  That's 10 minutes of overtime that was perfectly acceptable according to the supervisors.  Even on a slow day there could be an urgent or emergent case that comes up just a few minutes before the end of shift.  In general we wouldn't hand that off to the next nurse up, so we would stay and finish it up.  If that means staying an hour after shift, then that means an hours worth of overtime.

Then of course there is the 'nightmare' scenario.  Being mandated.  I was mandated a total of three times in my two years as a state employee.  Twice it was to stay over night, while one time I had to come in early.  Neither of those are any fun at all and I didn't appreciate the overtime for it... but the overtime pay WAS impressive in hindsight.  Eight hours at 1.5x pay.

Then there's Holiday Pay.  The way this works is that there are 13 paid holidays in the year.  Each paid holiday is 8 hours of pay.  If you are working the holiday (or more specifically, not taking any time off during that pay period) that 8 hours of pay is immediately overtime.  Basically that's 12 hours of free pay.  And those holidays are bunched up at the end of the year.  Thanksgiving and the day after Thanksgiving are both paid holidays.  Christmas Eve and Christmas are both paid holidays.  New Year's Eve and New Year's Day are both paid Holidays.

Before we move on to 2016...

Just as I did last year, I'm stealing this idea from Joanna.  This is a set of questions that sum up the last year.  While I've intended to make this post for several months, I have specifically not re-read the questions so that I can answer them with a fresh mind this year.

2015 was strange only because everything in it felt ‘normal’.   There many highs and not many lows.  I traveled, I helped my family, I changed jobs, I grew in my job… but none of that had the newness that 2013 and 2014 did.  This year was just normal.  If this is my new normal and I can hold this type of good times close, I can live out the next 20 years or so a happy man.  And after 30+ years of NOT being a happy man, I think it’s a prize well earned. 

I even got the surprise of having Caitlyn come back into my life.  She’s completely re-arranged my free time, but it’s good free time with her so I won’t complain. 

Taveling wise, I took a cold blistery trip to Chicago, drove down to Dallas once and flew down for a second trip.  I had meant to fly out to San Francisco and had intended on another Chicago trip but those are things I can still plan on for 2016. 

I’ve made plenty of big and small purchases.  I can’t really talk about spending money without mentioning the new Ride.  Ginger.   I adore having a big sedan that gets 40+ mpg.   But what really struck me this year is how making purchases has changed.  I still research things, but the time scale has shifted.  I used to research things because I only had one shot to get it right.  If I messed up and spent a couple hundred bucks on a bad thing, it wasn’t something that I could correct.  Now I do the research because I honestly enjoy learning about things and making the right choise…. But if I make the wrong one it’s no big deal.  I can always correct it later.  For instance, my most recent ‘thing’ has been a media streaming box.   Specifically a Roku 3.  I wanted to not only watch Netflix which my bluray player let me do, but wanted to add Hulu, Amazon Video, and other streaming services.  I wanted to do them quickly which the bluray was just horrible at.  At less than $200 for every option, I could afford to ‘try’ one, but I still did my due dilligance to figure out all the differences, all the benefits and all the detriments or each option.  I compared Apple TV, Android TV (the nVidia Shield and Google Nexus Player), the Amazon Fire, and the Roku 3 and 4.  It took me about a day of on and off again research, but I made the right choice… the Roku 3 is everything I could have hoped for!

Changes Come, Changes Go

I still don't know what I was waiting for

And my time was running wild

A million dead-end streets

And every time I thought I'd got it made

It seemed the taste was not so sweet

So I turned myself to face me

But I've never caught a glimpse

Of how the others must see the faker

I'm much too fast to take that test

-Changes by David Bowie

I don't think I've gone this long without a post here.  Ever.  But two big things have changed.  First, I started my new job in early November.  Second... Caitlyn's back. I'm going to take the job first as that's more of the reason I haven't posted here, although Caitlyn has her fingers in that pie too. 

So I've said a lot about this 'new' job here.  I've only been going after it for about a year now.  Almost everything I've said turned out to be true.  It's working only one out of five or six weekends.  It's Monday through Friday.  It's 10:30 AM to 7:00 PM.  It's at the intake center for the MDOC.  The commute is a little under 15 minutes.  It's a total of 13 miles both ways.... 6.2 miles there, 6.5 miles back.  There are a lot of personnel there including four other RNs on my shift.  There is no med room work (NONE!!!).

When is it time?

So a couple weeks ago when I went out to my car after work, I got a text from Mom.  It was more or less this:

"No dinner tonight.  I feel down the stairs into the driveway"

Umm... what?

Knowing mom, I assumed she was minimizing her accident on purpose.  Which to me means she's right on the border for needing medical attention but hasn't gone out to get any.  She sent that message long after my brother got out of work, so I know he's at least seen her.  So I don't focus on the message and head home.

Not surprisingly she is hurt.  Bruises on both legs, both hips, both arms, both shoulders, and on her head, just above her eyebrow.  She has bandages on two different areas of her right lower leg, and she just looks tuckered out.

After quizing her for a bit, here's what I understand to have happened;  The fed-ex guy left a package on our front door.  Our front door is rarely used for an actual entrance or exit as it has a pre-formed set of concrete steps that don't quite rise up enough.  With the door sill, there's quite a first drop down to the steps.  Mom didn't want to walk to the back of the house, outside to the front door and get the package that way.  Instead she opens the front door, takes the bit step down while holding the door jam for stability and reaches down to the next step for the package.  From her angle, she can reach the package but it's too heavy for her to lift with one hand.  So instead of walking fully outside and down the steps to get the package, she lets go of the door jam, grabs the package with both of her hands and tosses it behind her and into the house.

Got the Job

Since the title let the cat out of the bag, lemme start off by saying that searching for an image about a new job kind of sucks.  It either involves people shaking hands, or signs or post it notes.

And then I come across this bear card.  It made me giggle.  It still makes me giggle.  That's why it's there!

So.  Yes, I finally got the transfer.  A quick recap, I heard about this job at the intake center in September of last year.  I hemmed.  I hawed.  I thought long and hard about it, but I decided to try and get it.  Unfortunately that though processes took to long and the door closed before I could toss my resume in.  Of course it also closed just after I told my supervisor that I was looking at a different job!

I told my supervisor, after finding out that I wouldn't be getting the job, that I would happily stay where I was... until that job came open again.  That job eventually opened back up in May of this year.  This time I got my name onto the transfer list soon enough and was even invited in for a tour.  If I was interested in the job before, the tour completely sold me on the idea.  The job would be primarily as an intake nurse.  It would be 10:30 am - 7:00 pm (as opposed to my current 1:30 pm - 10:00 pm), the clinic closes at the end of the shift and all urgent calls are sent elsewhere during the last hour (meaning no unexpected hour long overtime stints to take care of a fake heart attack), I'd share the shift with like 5 other RNs, it's Monday through Friday and only every 5th weekend, and never work in the med room again.  Yeah... I fell in love.

Late Summer Musak

Well I've finally got enough songs that it's worth putting them up here again.  Beyond one great song, I'm not sure any of these are real winners.  One is just damned funny in a way that has absolutely nothing to do with the song itself, one is another postmodern take on a good song, one is a bad cover, and two are blasts from the past that should have been on my playlist years ago.

I think one reason I haven't got as much 'winning' new music lately is that they've really come down hard on us at work.  Technically nothing has changed, they've just started to enforce a rule that has always been in effect.

Here's the laydown.  The software we use to document on our patients is huge.  I mean that in just about every way imaginable.  I'm pretty good at it, but I still think I only know about 50% of it's capabilities.  Some of it's capabilities are beyond me as they are intended for medical providers.  Doctors, Physician's Assistants, Nurse Practitioners.  But I'll still occasionally find something new (to me) that seems like an obvious improvement.

Anywho, the software is also ran completely over the network.  Sure, there is a large local file that runs, but all of it's data comes from a server farm.  And when I say 'all' of it's data, I mean all the data from the entire department of corrections.  All of the patients past and present.  All of the facilities.  All of the LPNs, RNs, RDs, Pharm Techs, NPs, PAs, and Doctors.  Naturally with that much data moving in and out, it's incredibly temperamental of network availability.  Unfortunately this makes the network a key area for the 'techs' to point at whenever we complain that it's slow.

Playing with fire at work, home, and DX

I don't like to play with fire.  At least not  in reality.  A lot of that has to do with the fact that I don't like to be outside, and it's rare to play with fire inside... but I have a healthy respect for flames.

In the figurative though... oh yes I play with fire often.  These past few weeks I've done that in several ways.  At work I butted heads with custody officers and I'm still looking for that elusive transfer.  At home... well yeah I was frighteningly playing with real fire there.

And lastly, I'm jumping from the frying pan of capping into the fire of roleplaying at DX again.

So yeah... fire is the theme for today's post.  First, let me update you on the 'Last Call' situation.  It seems that my email lit a fire under the HUM and she took it to the Captain with a purpose.  Not only was it made clear that no officer would order any nurse to perform some medical or nursing task, it was also made clear that the entire idea of "Last Call" is on it's way out.  At least in it's current form.

Unfortunately shit rolls down hill, and this particular pile of shit ended up on a sergeant that I bear no ill will towards.  For the purposes of this post let's call him sergeant H.  Sergeant H wants to transfer out of our facility.  He came here a couple years ago to serve under our deputy warden and that warden has since moved on to his own facility.  BUT since he recieved his promotion to sergeant at our facility the current warden won't let him transfer for another couple years saying he owes us that much time for the promotion.   I can kind of understand the warden's though process, but it's still a dick move to make.

Days

So life trudges on.  I'd love to tell you all that I've been so busy and been having a great time, but honestly the past two and a half weeks have just been... blah.  Not good.  Not bad.  Just blah.

I had a migrane outbreak.  One Wednesday while at work I had a pretty bad headache.  When I got into work I took some acetaminophen and ibuprofen but the headache didn't even budge.  I took my normal lunch and when I got back to the prison I took some more acetaminophen and ibuprofen.  And added an Imitrex.  Imitrex was prescribed to me last December for the migranes but I've only had cause to try one once since then.  And just like that time it didn't do anything other than upset my stomach.  So I called my supervisor, told her that I couldn't continue to work, and went home.

I then called in the next day as the headache hadn't lessened in the least.  The next day, Friday, I went into work but still had a bad headache.  Thankfully it was my weekend off, and I felt it melt away sometime Sunday afternoon.  If you're counting that's a headache spreading out over five days.  Ouch.  And it's had an echo of sorts... every day or so it tries to come back.  I've beaten it away by avoiding loud sounds (driving with the radio quiet sucks!), and a lot of acetaminophen and ibuprofen.  They've helped mange it, but it feels like before I started taking the propranolol.  When I see the Doc in October I'll ask  him about another step... maybe we can up the propranolol.

"Is he your partner?"

So that I can write my thoughts out faster, lemme set some things out here first.  I don't look at or see 'Gay' as an offensive word.  The thinking voice in my head almost always uses the term 'Gay' when it's forming thoughts about homosexual men.  When I speak or write, I often will change that internal 'gay' to homosexual.  But that's my internal censor especially when talking to people who have anti-homosexual feelings.   I guess I want it to sound both more intellectual and at the same time want to remove the idea of a derogatory term from their vocabulary.

But I don't think of it as derogatory.

OK. With that out of the way let's get into this.  I've often had the feeling that some if not many people assume I'm gay.  This goes back to the 90s while I was in college and afterward while working in Chicago.  I don't know where that thought came from.  Maybe it was my own internal struggle.  I was reading a lot of transgendered stories, and had fantasies of being turned into a woman.  I had and have spent a lot of time imagining what it would be like to give a blow job.

I'd often take a step back and look at my life and see... gayness.  I would wear more flamboyant clothes.  I was working on a career as a photographer.  I didn't follow sports closely.  I wasn't dating.  I was living with a guy.  Does any of this mean gay?  No.  Gay has a very strict definition; being sexually attracted to a person of the same gender.