Health
Kind of a re-hash of my last update. Continuous Glucose Monitor, Migraines, and my arm.
I had another appointment with the endocrinologist. My A1C went up a bit, but this was lab that included the holidays so it's not unexpected that it would raise. It's still a very good number considering how bad my diabetes was controlled just a couple years ago. I told him about the trouble with the CGM and he immediately got me into see his office assistant who said they'd had some trouble getting them around that time as they had just changed from the Freestyle Libre 2 to the Freestyle Libre 3. She said that for the past month they haven't been having any further trouble and that I should have mine soon. Lo and behold, a week later I got my three month supply of Freestyle Libre 3 sensors.
If you don't know, the way a continuous glucose monitor works is that it has a small needle that pokes into the fat on the back of your arm (yes, even if you're thin!). There it reads the interstial fluid (the fluid between cells) for glucose levels instead of the blood. It takes far less fluid and almost no power to get it done. The monitors have gotten smaller and smaller and smaller and the Libre 3 is now about the size of three dimes stacked up. The monitor then attaches to your arm and stays there for a couple weeks. Before the Libre 3, you'd bring a reader or sometimes your phone up to the sensor and get a reading any time you want. The Libre 3, however, is great as it's taking a reading every minute and sending it to a bluetooth connected phone. My phone will give me a warning of too high or too low readings without me even checking. My diabetes isn't so bad that I'm too concerned about too high or too low, I just need to monitor it closer and this makes that easy as pie. Instead of taking out a drop of blood or even touching my cellphone to my arm, I just turn the phone on, look at the program, and there's my number. It even graphs my glucose through the day so I can see that I'm getting precipitously low every night (into the high 50s).
Best of all, when I go to the doctor's office they can just download the results instead of me having to write them all out.
I'd also been trying to take my blood pressure more regularly as with diabetes I can't afford for it to be too high. Well... I thought the readings I was getting was from the machine needing calibration. Both my brother and my mother need to take their BP regularly so my brother wanted to buy a good machine. I helped him find a reputable brand that was a real medical brand and found it on Best Buy for a good price. Because I'm a total tech member there, it included same day shipping. So it was better than amazon and better than having to go to the local pharmacy for the same one. Then best buy screwed up and didn't get it shipped out. I'd dealt with them like this one time before and when I hadn't heard from them by 11am the next day I told my brother to just go and get it from the pharmacy while I canceled the best buy order. He got his from Rite Aid, and two hours later Best Buy delivered one.
Not wanting to go through the hassle of returning it, and using the $100 cost to spur me on to action I just kept 'mine' in my room and now take my blood pressure any time I read my glucose. And yea... it's not good. Even with the doc upping my blood pressure med (the main one... I'm on three different ones already) my average for the month of February is 145/93 with a high of 153/103 and a low of 128/92. My doc has made it clear that while most people should target 120/80 or lower, that has to be my maximum. I expect that I'll be getting a major medication change when I next see him.
The arm, well it's gotten worse but not by a lot. With all the other medical things happening I just don't think I'm going to do anything about it. The primary reason is sick time. If I mention it to the doc he'll want x-rays. When they don't show anything, he'll send me to the bone specialist like the last time on my left arm. They'll take more x-rays and see nothing. Then I'll get a shot for the pain and be sent for physical therapy which will last about 6 or 8 weeks. Then it will get better. All of these appointments might take sick time. Or... I can just deal with it. It hurts when I move it certain ways and is basically painless otherwise.
Like the old joke goes: "Hey Doc, my arm hurts when I do this" "Then don't do that!"
I won't do that.
Finally, and most pressingly, the migraines. I got the botox treatment just before my last update. It was fine, although if you don't like injections it might be tought to get. It's about 34 injections around your hairline and on your neck. Each one is a little prick, but it only hurts for about half a second. I was chatting with the doc the whole time and never even flinched.
Now, before the treatment I was having bertween 1 and 3 migraines per week. They were averaging between 1 and 2 days with about half of the migraines being minor to moderate, and half being severe. Severe migraines are the ones that send me to my room and turn my brain off. I can't work, I can't play, I can't think. The other ones suck and suck bad, but I can mostly push through them.
After the botox treatment, I'm averaging only 1 migraine a week. But the average length is 3 to 4 days. And they're ALL severe. I haven't had a mild or moderate migraine in three months, but I've taken more days off for migraines than ever. With my two bouts of COVID (one in October, one in December) that took 10 days leave each, I was already running low on leave. If I work my full 80 hours per pay period, I earn 4 hours of sick leave and 5.9 hours of annual leave. Because I have FMLA protection for my migraines, I can use both for my leave. But on my last COVID bit in December, I ran out of ALL leave. I had my first check lower than normal for the first time in almost ten years. My checks, being that I'm taking between 2 and 3 days off a week, are about half of what they should be ever since then.
And frankly, I'm kind of fucked. The nurtec might reduce these migraines, but they don't take any of them away. I just got my neurologist to prescribe me more eletriptan and I can take those together (I swore he said I couldn't do that before, but whatever, he now says I can take them at the same time) and that might help. But honestly, most of my chips are on this second botox treatment. It's a higher dose and he has high hopes that since my first dose technically took half of my migraines away, that this might do the same. And hey... you never know. If I only have one of these per pay period instead of two, it would be an improvement.
*sigh*
Finances
As you can read from above, my finances are fucked. I just can't lose about half of my income without it affecting me. Thankfully, to get by all I have to do is reduce my credit card payments. I was always paying off my Amazon and BP card every two weeks (every pay period). In November I got that best buy credit card and made financial plans to have it paid off in three months instead of the year I had with no interest. Well, I'm now carrying a balance on the Amazon and the best buy card. I'm not making minimum payments, but they're far smaller than I like. I'm also making far smaller payments on my primary credit card. I put my computer on that one meaning I'm now carrying almost a $10,000 balance. I'd normally make a plan to have that paid off in a year, but I'm making just over the minimum required payment meaning most of it is going to interest. I'm not really making a dent.
The only real fix is to get rid of or reduce these migraines. We'll see how it goes.
*sigh*
Family/Friends
Both of my brothers are having car problems and considering getting new (to them) vehicles.
B, my younger brother, had a complete engine failure. Thank GOD we got the warranty on his car as they covered it. This new engine is leaking oil though and he's working on getting that fixed (still under warranty). But it's starting to nickel and dime him to death as he drives just as much as me. The biggest problem with him getting a newer car is actually me. I'm cosigned on his loan meaning he got a much lower interest rate (actually, he was denied credit but has established it since then and should be able to get some kind of loan on his own now). Without me on the loan, he'd be screwed. On top of that, interest rates are far higher than they were when we got his car. I think I expected to pay about 2.9% for interest back then. His loan is at 6% because of his bad credit. Now credit is going for over 6% with good ratings. He might be looking at a car loan with between 9 and 15% interest. Even if he kept the same purchase price, he'd be looking at a significantly higher monthly payment.
R, my older brother, had an odd electric problem in his SUV. It took the dealership a week to find the problem then a week to get the replacement part costing him just under $2000. This is his second repair near $2000 in two years with several other minor ($100 to $500) problems. So he's thinking its about time. His problem is he won't consider a foreign car, won't consider Chrysler/Dodge/Ram/Jeep (hates the local dealer), and wants a robust 4x4 system with all the bells and whistles. Understand, while its old, he's in a top of the range Jeep Grand Cherokee. It's beautiful inside and out with top level leather, all the safety features (adaptive cruise, emergency braking, lane keep...) push button start, a media center (woefully out of date, but he still doesn't want to take a step back), and all the chrome they could put on the beast. Oh, he also doesn't want a full size pickup. So, with the limitations he's put on it he's limited to a Bronco (too expensive as they're just too new), a top of the line Ford Ranger, or a top of the line Chevy Colorado.
That's it. Those are the only vehicles that meet his requirements. I figured that would make the decision easy but he still can't decide and right now is picking staying with his Jeep.
*sigh*
Work
Have I mentioned how much I hate my current job? Well, I still hate it. I said above that I'm missing on average two or three days a week of work. Has anybody asked about it? Nope. Not a single one. I know my fellow nurse managers are just making the assumption that I'm taking advantage of the system and taking days off as they assume anybody with FMLA is doing that. If they asked, I'd be honest with them, I'd tell them how this is affecting me negatively financially... but they don't even care to ask.
Not even my bosses ask. Sure, they can't force me to tell them and it's always safer to just not ask.... but when my nurses were sick (FMLA or no) I'd always ask them what was going on. I'd always preface it with "Hey, just so you know you are under no obligation to tell me anything. How you use sick time is between you and HR and I just go with what HR tells me.... but I'm concerned and want to know if there's anything we can do to help you. Are you okay? Do you want to tell me what's going on?
I'd love if my managers asked me what was going on, with or without the preamble. But they don't.
I know I'm kind of being a pot calling the kettle black as I'm not asking them why they don't seem to care, but I have to assume they don't care.
*sigh*
Entertainment
Not much to mention here. The new season of Picard is starting. I've watched a lot of old shows as that's about all I can watch with a migraine.
Power Outage
So, this past Tuesday night / Wednesday morning we had a MAJOR ice storm. I believe they predicted a half an inch of ice. If you've never dealt with an ice storm, know that this blows out any rain, sleet, or snow event. Its worse than a blizzard. A half of inch of ice adds TONS of weight to everything. I saw a report that said the ice on the power lines on an average span is like adding a grand piano to the line. Now imagine that on the roof. On your car. On the trees outside of your house. We have a huge old maple in front of our house and it lost two major branches. They technically hit the house, but really they only scraped down the wall and didn't crash into the roof or wall. But it was loud enough that I thought we got hit by a car (again). It was bad enough that I leapt out of bad to check on Mom and R.
When the sun came up, just about everything was shut down. My brother B tried to drive to work and said he gave up less than a mile from his house. These are major city streets and they were literally sheets of ice. No traction to go, no traction to stop. He saw four accidents, none minor. And if he decided to continue on, he had 45 miles to go! The news said that 50% of the households in our county are without power. Note that word there.... ARE without power. This is three days later. It's far better than the 85% they said were without power, but even working as fast as they can it might take another two weeks.
Thank GOD we didn't lose power. Sitting in the cold with no heat would be bad, sure, but the real problem is mom and her oxygen. No power, no oxygen generator. She has her oxygen tanks, but all of them together would give her a couple days. Maybe. We'd have to get a hotel and I'm sure you could imagine what getting a hotel is like with weather like this.
What we did lose, however, is our internet. We have Xfinity. I'm not a fan, but I don't get a vote. Mom and R want the television, Mom wants the old land line, and we all want the fastest internet possible here (just shy of Gigabit internet). That all costs $330 a month. We've lost internet before, but this time we lost it all. Internet, TV, Phone. Yeah... that's all of our entertainment options. I could read a book... but migraine. R plays games on the computer, but most of them log you into the internet for saves. And mom... well, ironically we got her a tablet for her recent birthday and she's been playing on that but it needs the wifi. Beyond that, she has the TV on all the time. If she's not directly watching it, she has it on in the backgorund.
So going without wasn't going to be an option. We all have fairly good cellular connections and all have unlimited mobile so we all set up our hotspots. Mine connected to my computer and I watched youtube and west wing repeats. R played his game and watched youtube. Mom streamed her live shows and the DVR ones she missed. None of it is particularly good or fast, but it's enough to get by.
Then two days later I got the two text messages. The first one said I had run through my 25 Gigs of mobile hotspot data and would now be slowed down to 600kbps until the next billing cycle (9 days away). The second text said that mom only had 10% of her 25 Gigs left. I immediately went on to Verizon's website and... well I had to search and search and search as its buried and not easy to find... and eventually found that indeed my and mom's plans only include 25 Gigs of mobile hotspot data. It's technically unlimited as we can keep using it but 600kbps meant that no streaming service worked except for youtube. And youtube would only run in the lowest resolution setting and even then would buffer all the time. If it was that bad for me, what was going to happen to mom?
Fuck.
So the next morning, with the migraine still going, I got on the chat and pushed for more mobile hotspot data. Their solution was to sign up for the next plan up (their top plan so far as I can see) because it includes 50 Gigs of mobile hotspot. All I wanted was a solution that would work, and at the rate we were using data, that should last for 4 days (I had them confirm that I'd get 50 MORE gigs of data this billing cycle). Xfinity was predicting the internet to be back up the following day (Friday afternoon), so I went for it.
But it really pissed me off that the data is parsed out like that. I was with Google Fi before and while the data wasn't unlimited, it was simple; use data, get charged for it. They didn't care if I was streaming video, browsing the web, playing games, or acting as a mobile hotspot...I paid per Gig. But I guess I have to temper my anger. Looking at Google Fi again, they'll slow down your data after 35 Gigs (50 Gigs for a bigger plan). You can buy more, but it's at $10 a gig. But the plan is straight forward. The details of their three plans (pay as you go data, basic unlimited, unlimited plus) takes up one page. Verizon's plans take page after page after page and aren't clear. Oh sure, I get Disney plus at a discount, Discovery Plus at a discount and a few other things, but I get a VPN, Google Cloud storage, and some other features with Fi.
Story Idea
So I posted about the new story idea on my main blog here. I wanted to go into more detail, but with a smaller audience. I wanted to talk about distribution as well as the story itself. Let's go over distribution first as the latter includes possible spoilers.
I mention distribution because an online friend caught me in chat, and just assumed I made money as 'Caitlyn'. I'm honestly not sure where that came from. I've been upfront and clear that I do not and CAN not make money from my caps. I don't own those images and would never rip someone off for my own gain. I still feel a pang of guilt using them as I do as I could imagine some photographer or model getting upset at how they're being portrayed as a feminized man. But then it came down to the writing itself. My obscuras and Tumblr posts are all too short unless they'd be published as a short story collection. But my longer stories could be published as novellas or, depending on length, outright novels.
Looking at Amazon, I see plenty of erotic fiction. Some by people that I follow online. There's also Lulu, but I believe Lulu has a stronger restriction on erotica (and I'm more toward the smut line so I'd be a no go as far as I know!). The books sell for either a few dollars or I think I saw a few upwards of $10. It made me wonder... how many sales would I get?
Now, I'm not even thinking about something like Patreon where people pay monthly to get something, even if its only a free copy at the end of writing. I don't like the idea of obligations as they tend to crimp my creativity. Just ask anybody at the Haven when I owed them a cap (or four caps!!). I write for my own enjoyment and if people enjoy it afterwards, then all the better. But I wonder what the audience level would be. How many people could I reach? Would sales be something like a free coffee each month, or would it be a sizable bonus to what I already make. Understand, as a Nurse Manager, I already make well beyond a pretty penny. I believe I'd have to make as much as a successful author to make as much as I do in nursing. But if I'm writing already...
I don't know, it was just something to consider. My plan is still to publish 'Just Dance' to fictionmania. It's where I get my fiction fix and it's one way that I can pay back... even if it's after two years of work.
Anyway, let's talk story. Let me say that if you want any possible future story to be behind the lines, just stop reading. There be spoilers ahead!
So, here's what I wrote up as a synopsis. Understand, this would cover the first third to half of the story:
Grace Thompson, a mid level manager at a company, wants to show HR that a powerful exec, Malachi Orpheus is a sexist bastard. One that pushes off secretaries and even male subordinates by being a 1950s style egotistical power hungry sexist. She talks to HR and the director, Rhea Birdie, agrees with her, but needs ironclad evidence in order to put him out… he’s that powerful and influential. No previous person he’s attacked or been sexist toward will come out against him and have taken offered severance packages or she believes have been framed in order to be fired. One even had a police report filed against her before quitting.
Most of her friends, ones close enough to help, already work for the company as junior executives so couldn’t take the role of administrative assistant. She turns to her friend Paris Jamie Beaufort (Beautiful) or Rousseau (A red-haired person), a young male friend that had dressed up as a woman in college for a costume party. He’s an artistic photographer that gets by working gig to gig for various websites, newspapers, and the occasional portrait session.
The HR director approves the plan, allowing Paris to apply as a woman so long as he meets her approval of feminine. They go through several iterations with Paris not wanting to go too femme, Grace convincing him to go femme enough to fool anybody, and finally Rhea approving a more over the top feminine look that will pass more closer scrutiny, convincing Grace and Paris that the Mr. Orpheus would more likely come on to a more beautiful woman.
Ms. Birdie says they have to act quickly as she’ll be hiring Paris as a female, mentioning that his name can remain the same and not call attention to itself, but that eventually it will come up in the extensive background check as a male. This will trigger an automatic investigation and could lead to firing or even fraud charges… which considering Mr. Orpheus’ history, would likely involve the police.
Paris works with Grace on being feminine. Walking, vocal training, makeup, hair. They even spend time working on him being seen as feminine, going out more and more and having him ‘live’ as feminine.
Paris gets hired in as Mr. Orpheus’ administrative assistant and wears a microphone in his bra. Mr. Orpheus has a very busy office that’s in the middle of a big contract negation. Paris spends a lot of time managing his phone, filing, and doing secretarial work. Initially the only thing Mr. Orpheus does that is untoward is constantly call Paris his secretary instead of admin assistant and refers to him as ‘darling’ and ‘dear’. He has to make friends with the other admin assistants, most are normal women, but one is a ‘girly girl’ that immediately attaches to Paris him as someone like her. Some are jealous because working for an executive like Mr. Orpheus is a feather in their cap while most give him sympathy, saying he’s quite the sexist.
Once the negotiation is over, Mr. Orpheus starts to turn his attention toward Paris. Paris sees that Grace and Rhea were right. He’s a pig, taking every chance to touch her. Starting with simply touches to her shoulder or the small of her back, to more aggressive caresses of her bare arm or outright pats to her ass. Paris tries to bring this up as evidence, but Grace and Rhea remind him that they need ironclad sexual harassment level evidence or Mr. Orpheus would just wiggle out of it.
Needing this to be over before the background check comes back, Paris leans into it. He turns on more visual sexual signs without saying anything verbal that would be caught on the mic. Mr. Orpheus finally pushes things too far, pulling Paris to lie on the couch next to him and making her give him a handjob (almost a blowjob). Paris is of course disgusted, but happy that he has everything they need.
When he calls Grace to tell her to meet him in HR, she says to instead meet him in her office. She’s beside herself as Rhea has been fired, evidently for embezzlement. She’s initially buoyed when Paris tells her about the handjob, equally calming her friend and getting ready to write up a police report. But both their hearts sink tremendously when they realize the mic didn’t hear any of the actual event. Once Paris was pulled on the couch, the mic got covered and didn’t catch it.
They say they’ll give it one more day, as they have to get Paris out of there one way or the other before the background check comes back. Mr. Orpheus falls into it again, but this time Paris works it so he’s kneeling in front of Malachi so that he’ll record it. He receives a facial and is overwhelmed, happy he has it recorded but overwhelmingly emasculated at not only touching a man’s cock twice now but watching it cum all over his face.
As she stands up to wash the cum off his face in Malachi’s private bath, he comes in behind her apologizing… not for threatening her job for sex, but for ‘not getting her off like a good girl gets’. They struggle once Paris realizes he wants to finger ‘her pussy’. Malachi not only finds out that Paris is a man, but finds the microphone. After destroying the digital evidence, he puts it together that this was a sting and promises to destroy Paris. He sends him home, saying he’s fired and can expect to hear from the police… for whatever charge he can trump up, but certainly fraud as he knows Paris was hired as a female.
Later that night Grace comes over to Paris’ apartment and they put their heads together to try and get out of it. They’re both shocked when Malachi shows up. His plan was to blackmail Paris into telling him who helped him, but seeing Grace with femmed up Paris tells him all he needs to know. He blackmails both of them…. to not only keep Paris as his secretary but as his IDEAL secretary. OVERTLY feminine, OVERTLY sexual, OVERTLY submissive to him, all to show his bosses that women like this, to show the secretarial pool that this is what is expected, and to show HR that this is what they should look for.
He sets up a date or condition that this will end so that Paris and Grace go along. 6 months? A year? Until he hires an ‘acceptable’ replacement?
He says he’s not interested in sex from a guy, but becomes more interested as Paris does what he says and presents himself as more and more feminine. Eventually that fades, giving back into hand jobs (I’ve already done this before!), to blow jobs (a mouth is a mouth and so long as I don’t see his junk, it’s a woman’s mouth!), to anal (it’s the same as a blowjob… an ass is an ass!).
And then here are the thoughts that I'd like to include if they made sense as I wrote:
- Sisterly figure
- Maybe the other ‘secretary’ that’s more of a bimbo like Tiffany in Jordan’s Job
- Maybe a different secretary that tries to get Paris to act more professional while also asking for help for herself to be more feminine (Paris giving tips on femininity to a woman!)
- Tricked/fooled into taking female hormones
- Dealing with:
- Less muscle mass (I guess I’m just not working out anymore)
- Maybe even leading into working out, but being led into yoga or pilates
- Fewer erections (Why would I get aroused when I’m a woman having to be sexual with a man?)
- Change in libido (initial decrease, then increase)
- Smaller testicles
- Thinning body hair
- Softer skin
- More fat on the hips, buttocks and face
- Breasts
- Mood swings
- Comes in several ways including pills (take daily for ‘other’ reasons), injections (long lasting, can’t stop), creams (apply this for better skin!), and patches
- Patches would be great. Say he’s a smoker and trying to quit. He’s given “anti smoking” patches that are actually hormones.
- Tricked/fooled into breast implants
- Why would he do this? Maybe agreeing to a minor procedure and having Mr. Malachi change it?
- Maybe he’s going in to a plastic surgeon, something he previously planned, and Malachi changes it to breast augmentation?
- Yeah… he had to change surgeons as it will now be covered under workers insurance, but the surgeon sees that “she’s transitioning” so is open to either a friend or “her boyfriend” signing off on the breasts (now technically augmentation as he’d already has breasts at this point)
- Maybe even facial feminization or voice feminization surgeries
- His initial problem could be a bad nose, a bump he wants to smooth out, so the plastic surgeon has reason to make it more feminine.
- Living with someone close that only knows him as a woman
- Maybe he’s already roomies with Grace and someone else from the company moves in?
- A family member of a friend that tries to get him to come out of his shell?
- A stranger that’s a party girl, always trying to set him up with a boyfriend
- Especially great as he steps into it by saying that his boss is NOT his boyfriend
- An angry woman that pushes him to be female
- Maybe the new head of HR?
- She’s pissed off that her job is at risk just for having him on as a female when the background check came back male
- She could ‘fix’ his records, changing him to female on official state records, recording him as trans
- Meeting former friends that no longer recognize him
- One even macs on him hard, perusing him as a girl
- He’d be stuck between a rock and a hard place, being girly girl to make sure his friend doesn’t recognize him as his old self and not being girly girl enough for his friend to have sex with him.
- Malachi hires this former friend, a fellow photographer, to take boudoir photos of Paris.
- A former girlfriend? She could complain how ‘her former boyfriend’ was too nice and mild and she wanted him to be more aggressive
- He could mistakenly bond with her, talking about his sexually aggressive boss, then having to maintain conversations where he’s saying he enjoys the attention. Those conversations could be overheard, leading to more hijinks.
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