Voting Time!

 I guess this will be just a bunch of mini updates as I have a lot of things to talk about, but not a lot to say about any of them. 

You (I) should be sad

I've talked about being sad before.  I've talked about having a Caitlyn side and how that affects me before.  I don't think I've ever talked about my Caitlyn side effecting or being affected by my sadness before.  Now, before I get to far into this I need to clear up how I think of myself.  I now accept that my feminine 'side' is a journey.  From 10 years ago when I started my Caitlyn's Masks blog and was an avowed heterosexual man with a fetish fantasy to now where I consider myself queer with a masculine side and a feminine side.  It's not static.  I don't think I'll consider myself in the same way 10 years from now.  But I no longer consider 'Caitlyn' a side or separate part of my conciousness... its just me under this skin.  Sometimes I'm feminine.  Sometimes I'm masculine.  Sometimes I'm both, sometimes I'm neither.  Language just doesn't quite cover how I feel and know I am, so forgive me if I stumble over words.  

'Rona

 

Why do I find COVID-19.... coronavirus... so fucking scary?  I see people I know, people I trust, throwing caution to the wind.  Going out, having fun, traveling, being with family, being with friends.  Meanwhile I'm holed up in my dead aunt's house, not going out anywhere other than work, the store to buy groceries, or the gas station to fill up Nina.  Am I being too cautious?  Are they being too flippant?  Lets look at it together and maybe come up with the right way to look at it.  

Diabetes Can Kiss My Ass!

 

Its such a small change on my health record.  One new medicine right.  I mean come on, I already take 12 different medications, what's one more?   But this is a big one.  It's bigger and worse than a high blood pressure pill or a statin for cholesterol.  It's smaller and better than chemotherapy.  

I am now on insulin.  

Yeah, I already got a MacBook

Remember way back a week ago when I said "It's not something I'm going to do, but it IS something I'm going to keep considering.  Don't be surprised if I talk about my 'new' Mac soon".... yeah, soon came a lot sooner than even I expected.  

Big and small updates

Lots of changes going on here.  The home situation, a new watch, considering a new computer, work and the nurse who just doesn't understand, setting up a smart home by destroying a smart home, music in the car leading to a cell phone service change, disappointment in my story and the crushing feeling that has on my creativity, continued COVID craziness... maybe some more as I go along.

Wanting to leave both home and work?

So, I still haven't won mom over.  Not completely.  I'm still home and she's still at my aunt's place.  I really have to start thinking of that house as my cousin's place, but that's a hard habit to break.  Anyway, I talked to her a couple weeks ago and told her about how firm I was on the whole idea of both having her come home and be more comfortable and happy, and at the same time not having her or I live in the same place for the foreseeable future.  I'm not talking about weeks or months... I'm talking about seasons or years. 

Out and Over

I've actually talked about moving out a couple of times on this blog.  I forgot about them, but they're here and here.  And while neither are exactly relevant, they do lay out my thoughts on moving out in 2016 and 2018.  2 Years later, and for entirely different reasons, I'm finally moving out.  This isn't about me leading my own life, or setting up my retirement, or directly dealing with Mom's need for my help.  Nope, this is all 'bout the 'Rona.

Apple wins again

As I mentioned in my last post, I signed up for a 3 month trial of Apple Music and have been working on it since then.  But before I go into that experience, let me talk a bit about using the iPhone and my thoughts on Apple as a whole.

The Frustration of Music in Nina has Returned

I had it.   I had the solution.  After years of mild to moderate to massive frustration solved.  Screw with iPods or Walkmans, I'd just go with the limitations of bluetooth and accept a bit of lost fidelity.  Honestly after doing it for almost a month I only found the loss of quality to be annoying on a handful of songs.  But that goodness lasted all of a month and now I'm at a loss again.