Nina Sings!

So I bought a new car.  While searching for my car I also test drove a Mustang GT that has every option I wanted out of the Ecoboost.  The drive at one point, however, scared the living shit out of me so I decided not to buy it. Lemme tell you how Isabella, my lovely classy 2017 Ford Fusion Platinum has been returned to Ford and I replaced her.  What I ended up replacing her with was... unexpected.  She wasn't any of the choices I've listed before.   It all started, as most of my car searches do, with boredom.

I got inked

Just a short post here as I wanted to share the fact that I finally did it.  I now have a tattoo that isn't a test of me getting a tattoo or a drunken adventure.  I mentioned way back here in June of last year that I wanted to get a tattoo.  That was when I got a 'test' tattoo of a camera aperture (Aperture Science!) on my chest.

Decisions Decisions

There are so many decisions that sometimes I obsess over them, even though they're not all that important and don't really effect anything.  Sometimes my eyes cross when I look at all the options and realize that no decision is right and waiting is the best answer.  Sometimes I completely gloss over them, even though they're important and impact more than just me.  Sometimes I try to just get it over with and still get sucked down into a soul sucking void full of nothing but wrong turns and hurtful choices.  Yup... cars (colors), friends (romance?),  politics (early front-runners),  and work (screwing over my co-workers).  A normal day of decision making in the strange and wonderful world of my head.

Define Me

One of the best things about having this blog is that I get to not only have a conversation with 'you' but with myself.  I get to think a full thought through where otherwise it's just a fragment in my head that I can nod along with.  For example, for the longest time I referred to Caitlyn as if she were a separate part of me.  An entity in my head that was distinctly NOT me.  Then after writing it out I started talking about her as my feminine side.  I accepted her as a part of me.  And now, more recently, I feel comfortable simply talking about my feminine side.  I don't have a specific part of me that's feminine... I simply have a feminine aspect that waxes and wanes.  Calling that part of me by any name, let alone Caitlyn, feels out of date but I'm going to just go with it for now.

13 Months Out

It's time to talk cars.  Back on June 3, 2017 I bought Isabella.  She wasn't my ideal choice.  She was the best choice I had at that time to get into a lease, tie up the extra money I was carrying over from Fiona and Ginger, and after a three year lease, end up with a zero balance.  It's now a couple days from two years later and I'm looking down the barrel of my three year lease and I want to be ready for my next car purchase.  I know... I still have a year and it's ridiculous to start car shopping this early.  Well, if you've been keeping up with me you'll know two things;  1) I started car shopping on June 3, 2017 and 2) I over plan everything!

Caitlyn; comfortable in my own skin

This is a continuation of my Spring Renewal post.  I initially wanted it to be the same, as a single read through, but I think this deserves to be pulled out and added on it's own.  I think all of you followed me initially from Caitlyn's Masks, so I figured this would be of particular interest.  If you want to read through the entirety of my thought process, how I'm coming out of my winter funk and the other things that I'm doing to change and evolve, you're welcome to read Spring Renewal.  But you don't have to read it to get what I'm saying here.

Spring Renewal

Spring is in the air.  Change is in the air.  I can feel myself coming out of a funk that winter always gives me.  Don't get me wrong, I adore winter... the beautiful white snow, the crisp cold air, driving on slick roads, having storms where you don't worry about tornadoes or drenching rain... but it's almost always gotten me down.

But this year I have several 'changes' in progress that are different.  I'm not simply coming out of a funky mental/creative slumber.  I'm making changes to my life.  Lemme put these into the two categories of purposeful changes and unconscious changes.  The purposeful changes including ending my toxic friendship, taking on a more 'leader' role at work instead of just a supervisory role, accepting who Caitlyn is in my life.  The unconscious changes include just being more comfortable in my own skin, and listening to my gut and moving on its instincts.

Toxic Friendship

I can't believe it's been almost three and a half months since I last posted here.  Well, no matter.  Life went on and life goes on.  And today I did something I don't believe I've ever done before.  Get rid of a friend.  I'm fairly sure I've mentioned that I don't have many friends... while writing this I looked back at the blog and saw my last post tagged as 'friends' and it's a post worth re-reading.  It's the one titled 'Friends' and it's about a trip to Grand Rapids with my friend An.

I say it's worth re-reading because I just ended my friendship with An.

A Year In Review - 2018

This whole ‘year in review’ idea am from Joanna on her Happiness blog.  I haven’t visited her site or really any blog in quite some time but this is an idea that I plan to do as often (annually) as I can.  It’s just a bit of a review of what happened over the last year and a list of questions.  The questions, over time, and their answers should be telling on how I’m changing.  I’m writing this without looking at the previous answers so they won’t bias my answers now. 

Responsibilities and the New Computer

I'm going to post my 'year in review' later, but I've finished writing it already.  Two things came up in that post that I realized I needed to share here.  One is for you (whomever you are that's reading this) and that's updating you on the computer.  It's here, it's great.  One is for me and that's starting to consider financial planning.