13 Months Out

It's time to talk cars.  Back on June 3, 2017 I bought Isabella.  She wasn't my ideal choice.  She was the best choice I had at that time to get into a lease, tie up the extra money I was carrying over from Fiona and Ginger, and after a three year lease, end up with a zero balance.  It's now a couple days from two years later and I'm looking down the barrel of my three year lease and I want to be ready for my next car purchase.  I know... I still have a year and it's ridiculous to start car shopping this early.  Well, if you've been keeping up with me you'll know two things;  1) I started car shopping on June 3, 2017 and 2) I over plan everything!

Caitlyn; comfortable in my own skin

This is a continuation of my Spring Renewal post.  I initially wanted it to be the same, as a single read through, but I think this deserves to be pulled out and added on it's own.  I think all of you followed me initially from Caitlyn's Masks, so I figured this would be of particular interest.  If you want to read through the entirety of my thought process, how I'm coming out of my winter funk and the other things that I'm doing to change and evolve, you're welcome to read Spring Renewal.  But you don't have to read it to get what I'm saying here.

Spring Renewal

Spring is in the air.  Change is in the air.  I can feel myself coming out of a funk that winter always gives me.  Don't get me wrong, I adore winter... the beautiful white snow, the crisp cold air, driving on slick roads, having storms where you don't worry about tornadoes or drenching rain... but it's almost always gotten me down.

But this year I have several 'changes' in progress that are different.  I'm not simply coming out of a funky mental/creative slumber.  I'm making changes to my life.  Lemme put these into the two categories of purposeful changes and unconscious changes.  The purposeful changes including ending my toxic friendship, taking on a more 'leader' role at work instead of just a supervisory role, accepting who Caitlyn is in my life.  The unconscious changes include just being more comfortable in my own skin, and listening to my gut and moving on its instincts.

Toxic Friendship

I can't believe it's been almost three and a half months since I last posted here.  Well, no matter.  Life went on and life goes on.  And today I did something I don't believe I've ever done before.  Get rid of a friend.  I'm fairly sure I've mentioned that I don't have many friends... while writing this I looked back at the blog and saw my last post tagged as 'friends' and it's a post worth re-reading.  It's the one titled 'Friends' and it's about a trip to Grand Rapids with my friend An.

I say it's worth re-reading because I just ended my friendship with An.

A Year In Review - 2018

This whole ‘year in review’ idea am from Joanna on her Happiness blog.  I haven’t visited her site or really any blog in quite some time but this is an idea that I plan to do as often (annually) as I can.  It’s just a bit of a review of what happened over the last year and a list of questions.  The questions, over time, and their answers should be telling on how I’m changing.  I’m writing this without looking at the previous answers so they won’t bias my answers now. 

Responsibilities and the New Computer

I'm going to post my 'year in review' later, but I've finished writing it already.  Two things came up in that post that I realized I needed to share here.  One is for you (whomever you are that's reading this) and that's updating you on the computer.  It's here, it's great.  One is for me and that's starting to consider financial planning.

Thankful Updates

In my last post a month ago I went over three major 'in between' moments that I was stuck in.  Well, I need to update you on all of them.  None are strictly good, but none are strictly bad either.

First is my health.  I saw the neurologist and he was happy with the Depakote results.  He says to keep taking it and we'll check back in 6 months.  At this point, I'm fairly sure I have a long term solution to my migraines as I still haven't had one.  Oh, I still get headaches and some really bad ones, occasionally I'll get some light sensitivity and even rarer some sound sensitivity.  But it's never the combination of symptoms that equates out to a migraine and has never included that confused, "can't think straight" feeling.  So screw the weight gain, I now take Depakote every night and am happy to swallow two of those fucking horse pills (seriously, they're huge!).

Between Past and Future

There's always that funny time between what I've always known and what I'm charging off toward that really excites me and scares the living hell out of me in equal measure.  Here and now is one of those times on many different fronts including my health, my career, and my computer.  I've been at crossroads before.  I've bridged this same gap before and even done so on these same issues.  But I don't think I've ever done them all at the same time.

It's about Trust... and Pride

My computer is all fucked up again.  You know, for a guy that likes computers... for a a guy that used to work as a computer tech and got paid well for it... I'm starting to think that I'm just bad at this.

I think to really prep this, I need a recap of my computer lore.  This won't go into to much depth but as I have to read through a bunch of posts just to remind myself of my computer journey, I figure you loyal readers will have to have the same journey.  My first computer was back in junior high school.  I guess technically it wasn't mine and instead was the family's computer.  But it was mine.  A shiny brand new several thousand dollar Commodore 64 with a tv/monitor and all manner of accessories. After many years of wonderful service (and being replaced a couple times) it was replaced with an Amiga 500.  that was a beast of a computer.  It was also the bowing out point for my parents as they realized what it would take to 'keep up' with computers.

Joys and Home

I said in the last post that I would write about some thing that make me happy.  I wanted to do that so that I'd more or less get happy after thinking about that damned nightmare.  But while I was looking for a header image (I really like that nightmare image!) my brother called me out to help take the remains of my car port and toss it in the backyard (more on that later).  So while this was supposed to be a post about making me happy, it's now just going to be a halfhearted attempt at that and then a talk about Home and what that means moving forward.